Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are his grades okay? Does he have friends?

If yes, why do you care?

If not, focus on helping him with those problems.

It’s not the weed.

OP does not sound like a reefer madness fool.

She is right to be concerned with the solo smoking.

Why? The smoke part is dangerous but get him a vape pen. Maybe he has anxiety from uptight parents.

Are you kidding? The pens are just as unhealthy if not worse.

Anonymous wrote:Are his grades okay? Does he have friends?

If yes, why do you care?

If not, focus on helping him with those problems.

It’s not the weed.

Are you an idiotic teenager?

Marijuana is really bad for the developing brain.

What's more, it's a really bad sign that at 17, a kid feels the need to self-medicate (especially alone) and rely on chemical highs to enjoy themselves.

There isn't an OTC test that can show you when his last use was. It can take over a month for the THC to leave your system. A lab test can check at various levels, but it's not going to tell you that he smoked on 3 days vs 1 day exactly.

I think the most appropriate call here is to understand why he's doing what he's doing. Smoking by yourself to play video games or sleep or whatever is a different kind of use than smoking with friends at parties. If he's self-medicating, you need to understand why and help him actually fix what's happening. If he's just partying with his friends, he needs to understand the actual consequences that he will care about. It sounds like "you will be kicked off the team if the coach finds out about this" would be a consequence he cares about here, so I'd probably start there instead of "health issues" or "security clearances 20 years from now" or wherever DCUM usually comes down on this issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are his grades okay? Does he have friends?

If yes, why do you care?

If not, focus on helping him with those problems.

It’s not the weed.

OP does not sound like a reefer madness fool.

She is right to be concerned with the solo smoking.

Not true. People solo smoke for anxiety, stress, inability to sleep or just plain like it to relax. Some people who live alone come home from work and have a glass or two of alcohol to relax. Same thing.

This is talking about adult use, not teen use. Teens should not be using at all. Their brains aren't yet developed.

I'm sure you want to test more than just weed at this point, I would, but FYI the dollar tree sells weed drug tests for $1.25 each.

Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s ok to do. Cigarettes are legal too for adults and they’re extremely harmful.
Look at all the chemicals in food our government says are ok when in fact they’re not.
Whete is he getting the money from to buy it OP? That’s where you cut him off.

I have a young teen so not quite there yet but I’m totally not ok with it.
If you normalize it they’ll think it’s ok to do it then drive.
Hard no.

Anonymous wrote:Grades are good, honors and AP classes- 3.5 gpa. He's a 3 sport athlete with a solid group of friends and a nice girlfriend. I don't like weed at all but yes, I am mainly concerned about smoking alone in his room. He had told us before that he didn't like the way drinking made him act so instead would smoke when friends drank at parties. I kind of understood this but both DH and I have a sibling whose lives have been dogged by excessive weed use and consequently underemployed, isolated, lost relationships. We don't want this for our son.

Weed is legal unless you live in one of the red states that still ban it. If you’re under 21 and are caught with it you have to pay a fine. It’s more serious if you’re caught with alcohol under 21,:especially driving.

The fact that he plays sports doesn’t matter. Kids who play sports drink and smoke weed. They’re young. Did you ask him why he’s smoking at night in his room? Did you ask him how often he smokes? Have an adult conversation without the histrionics and he’ll be more honest. If you’re screaming and buying drug tests he will shut down and lie to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the parents here who are OK with it. It's clearly better not to smoke weed than to smoke it.

+1
It seems the parents who are okay with it are the ones whose kids are smoking weed.

OPs kid is smoking weed and she’s freaking out so that makes no sense

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are his grades okay? Does he have friends?

If yes, why do you care?

If not, focus on helping him with those problems.

It’s not the weed.

OP does not sound like a reefer madness fool.

She is right to be concerned with the solo smoking.

Not true. People solo smoke for anxiety, stress, inability to sleep or just plain like it to relax. Some people who live alone come home from work and have a glass or two of alcohol to relax. Same thing.

I’d come down like a ton of bricks, especially with addiction in the family history. I’d test him regularly and I’d take away his phone as long as he is at all testing positive. Give him a flip phone for emergency calls. I’d take him to the doctor for a stern talk about the effects of any kind of smoking. You’d need to call ahead and tell the doctor ahead of time. I’d be searching his stuff. And I’d be talking and talking to him about how early pot use is correlated with psychosis.

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the parents here who are OK with it. It's clearly better not to smoke weed than to smoke it.

+1
It seems the parents who are okay with it are the ones whose kids are smoking weed.

I don't get the parents here who are OK with it. It's clearly better not to smoke weed than to smoke it.

OP we are in a very similar sounding situation with our son…rising junior. He also does not like drinking and likes the calming effect of weed. I am in theory ok with it here and there socially but he has also used it at home which is where I worry.

I have tested him before (I’ve used prime screen which has a multi level test which i find helpful.) I go back and forth as to wether the testing is a good idea. I feel like it does keep my son from using weed freely but it of course is invasive. I think back to my high school years and what if my parents were testing me for alcohol every week and how that would have made me feel. But on the other hand I need my kid to not get addicted to this stuff. It’s hard. My son is a good student, athlete and has a good social life too. If I didn’t know he was smoking sometimes from the smell and him telling me I would have no idea.

No real advice but I’m following this thread and you are not alone.

Anonymous wrote:He's an athlete and smoking weed? Talk to his coaches.

This is a parenting issue. Not the coaches responsibility.