The weirdest thing in the post is OP’s comment that she “just learned” that DH doesn’t want his parents to know about the inheritance she got from people who died over a year ago. This topic was not addressed bw you and your spouse until now? Esp since you have always found them ti be weird competitive? Not discussed be you before you bought the car? Not discussed as you or right after you bought the car?

You have always found them competitive and yet it’s all your husband’s (just sprung on you) idea not to tell them? 🤔

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't understand you OP. You bought a new car with your inheritance. So what? Are you worried about getting smaller inheritance from in-laws down the road?

I'm not OP, but perhaps you don't understand because you don't support any relatives. Ours always have a hand out. We avoid any public displays of wealth. We don't even talk about our kids' activities around them. I don't wear any jewelry when we visit.

Weird!!! They can ask all they want, I don't reward obnoxious behavior, so they wouldn't be getting anything if they expect it

Anonymous wrote:There's no need to hide it. Pick them up and let them compliment your good taste. If they ask how much, tell them. They don't need to know what your entire inheritance was.

Umm they don't need to know how two grown ass adults happen to own a new car. None of their business. Stop the nosy train today

Dude that's a terrible waste of an inheritance

^^ pp here. I have had both parents and a sister die and no none has asked me about an inheritance, even my adult children. If they ask, they are rude people and you do not have to answer them.

It’s a USED car! If the in-laws pounce on the luxury model, keep telling them it’s a used vehicle and we got a good deal (NO specifics).

This is not about the car...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't understand you OP. You bought a new car with your inheritance. So what? Are you worried about getting smaller inheritance from in-laws down the road?

OP back - bought a used luxury car. Noticeable because I traded in an old econobox/no frills. I’m pretty frugal and budget conscious. ILs always have been super judgy about my career, lifestyle choices and weirdly competitive with my late parents about grandparent status, involvement, presents, etc.

So what? That is their problem, not yours.

How long will they be staying with you? If your husband wants to hide it from them, I would trust that he knows them better than you do. In your shoes, if they are only staying with you for a weekend or whatever, I might even lie and say your car is in the shop, and then just park it elsewhere while your in-laws are in town. If you need a second car, just rent one (rentals are super cheap these days) or use a zip car.

So they will (correctly) assume you wouldn’t have bought the car without an inheritance. So what?

Tell them your parent always wanted one and burst into tears.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - what brand of car are we talking here?

People get new cars. Many, many people buy or lease cars that are more expensive than they should.

Curious what type of car would draw such a reaction.

OP - a BMW. I’ve always wanted one.

not bad - i get it.

What magnitude of inheritance - 6 figures / 7 figures?

Then tell the in-laws that DH paid for the car and let him answer all the ensuing questions

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them that you’ve always wanted one. If they press on money details, just say that you have saved up, which is technically true.

Why would you not just listen to your spouse for how to handle this?

OP because I’ve just learned that he doesn’t want his parents to know I got an inheritance.

Just tell them that you’ve always wanted one. If they press on money details, just say that you have saved up, which is technically true.

Why would you not just listen to your spouse for how to handle this?