Adding to my post about, Florida plus plane tickets is much cheaper for a nice house than the Carolinas!

This sounds like absolute hell. I’ve never gone on one and when my parents tried it, I told them it sounded like hell and it would be them wasting thousands of dollars for many of us not enjoying it. That many together is not fun.

I rent a house with just my family and my parents and we go. No big extended family vacations and no 10 ten hour drive. I make it when I’m off. I pay. Sometimes 1 of my siblings and their families join us but that’s the max. I always pay now, that’s key, and make sure there are enough beds and bathrooms.

Anonymous wrote:What town in OBX doesn't have other rentals fourth of July week?

Yeah I’m curious where this is— one of the NC or SC beaches, I’m assuming? Our family does a similar big beach trip, but with multiple rental homes, and it’s not a problem as long as we get organized and book about 6-9 months out.

it sounds like you dont want to give up just need better accommodations so why don't you take over booking, or don't wait till the last minute to book a place and stay there- they will get over it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you haven't yet announced that this doesn't work for you. Working during an uncomfortable vacation??? Heck no. I would announce that my preferred dates for vacations are X-to-Y, and could we please rent a larger house? If it's not possible, then bow out and do your own thing.

OP here - I’ve pushed back before and my mom gets really upset so don’t want to hurt her feelings! This is her side of the family and she’s looked forward to having her own grandkids on this trip as long as I can remember. The beach where we stay at has all these July 4 traditions that she wants to do with our kids too , and a part of me does too - but has very few rentals available which is why we haven’t changed accommodations. She and my aunts and uncles would be devastated if we stayed elsewhere or didn’t come. My dad is more understanding but spends most of the trip golfing with friends anyways

OP, are your mom and dad sleeping on bunk beds to make this trip happen?

What town in OBX doesn't have other rentals fourth of July week?

Im
Curious how you and your dh end up
Sleeping in separate bunk bed rooms? Thats bizarre!

Rent your own place somewhere that appeals to you, tell your parents it was time for you to change the dynamic, and invite them to join you for all or part of your vacation.

If you don’t want to pull the plug entirely, I’d insist on staying in separate accommodations and then just hanging out there during the day and/or meeting for dinner etc.

We stopped doing any uncomfortable bed/accomodation situations once we had kids. No sleeping on sofas or sofa beds, air mattresses, other weird situations or not enough bathrooms…..just no. I won’t do it for any reason. We work hard, parenting is tiring, travel with kids is even more so, and I am not spending my vacation time being uncomfortable.

It may upset your mom but (if you don’t want to scrap the trip entirely)- I’d tell her it will be separate accommodations or you are not coming. If the kids are old enough and you trust your parents, the kids could sleep over a night or two if that would please her….if she is craving the whole “waking up together and making pancakes for the kids” type of scenario.

Maybe the house or location can be changed in coming years to something that works out better (and maybe you not coming, or staying separately will help to create that change)

We do this kind of a trip with my father's extended family. We rent four separate houses and get together for dinners.

Nope. Once I have kids I'm not sleeping in bunk beds. It's my vacation time too and I'm spending it in a way that's restful. We do vacations with family but discovered we don't like beaching together as we have very different styles. So we don't after 2 unpleasant trips once we had kids. We do a winter ski trip instead and it's more fun for everyone.

Feelings get hurt but adults are able to manage their emotions and move on. Be an adult and communicate your needs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you haven't yet announced that this doesn't work for you. Working during an uncomfortable vacation??? Heck no. I would announce that my preferred dates for vacations are X-to-Y, and could we please rent a larger house? If it's not possible, then bow out and do your own thing.

OP here - I’ve pushed back before and my mom gets really upset so don’t want to hurt her feelings! This is her side of the family and she’s looked forward to having her own grandkids on this trip as long as I can remember. The beach where we stay at has all these July 4 traditions that she wants to do with our kids too , and a part of me does too - but has very few rentals available which is why we haven’t changed accommodations. She and my aunts and uncles would be devastated if we stayed elsewhere or didn’t come. My dad is more understanding but spends most of the trip golfing with friends anyways

Why are their wishes more important than yours? They're not! YOU matter, OP. You are the backbone of your own family and your mental and physical needs are the priority of YOUR nuclear family.

Your mother and relatives had how many years of this tradition? They would be incredibly selfish to not see that all good things come to an end eventually.

As soon as this year’s vacation is over, drop the bomb on your mom. A 12 hour drive for an air mattress? Nope.

You need a better house or cheaper area. For $15k you should have a room for everyone. When we go with DH family we pay more than that but we make sure everyone has room. None of this sleeping on an air mattress crap.