My parents were immigrants. Contrary to the stereotype, they didn’t push us academically or otherwise. They did, however, encourage us to pursue our interests and use our talents. More importantly, they modeled industriousness, perseverance, independence, intellectual curiosity, good manners, love of travel, generosity, and speaking up for ourselves and for our values. And they were fun. I miss them.

They made me play soccer starting at age 6. The first few years took some nudging and I literally did cartwheels during games instead of defending the goal. But, I made my school’s varsity team in 9th grade, played D3 in college, and played on a couple adult teams in my 20s. Those years of being on a team and playing a contact sport has given me a lasting confidence. I also appreciate that they were strict about manners and introduced me to international travel and camping. It’s good to remember all of this because they made a lot of shitty parenting moves as well, multiple marriages, emotional immaturity, alcoholism etc.

My parents made me go to Hebrew school and have a Bat Mitzvah. I resented it and chose not to do that to my kid. He's a young adult now and fine with it but who knows. Maybe someday he'll regret the lack of a religious education and insist on it for his own kids. And the cycle will begin again.

I don't know if I was 'pushed' per se, but an appreciation for the outdoors. It turned me into an active outdoors man, camping, fly fishing, canoe trips, surf fishing, hiking etc.

I (52) have shared this pursuit with my own kids and frankly it's incredibly sad how few of their peers spend anytime outside. It's all basements and video games or a very rigid organized sport. You arr meant to be outdoors and the emotional and spiritual impact it has on your is invaluable.

Financial literacy

My parents were militant about having good manners, which really annoyed me at the time but for which I’m very grateful now.

Good behavior, study hard, have some ambition, save and pay your own way.

My mom made me play field hockey in 8th grade. I’m glad that she did because I was lazy and overweight. I was captain my senior year!

Parents also tried so hard to get me to take AP classes for which I was recommended and I refused because my friends weren’t in them. So dumb. Definitely regret that.

Mine pushed me into swimming 🏊🏻‍♂️ lessons too.

I was terrified of water as a kid but my parents mandated from a young age that I learn how to swim as a child.

Not a push but it was unavoidable. I was independent much more than my peers. Parents had to travel. It wasn't for frivolous reasons, it was related to their career. I understood they had adult responsibilities, responsibilities beyond our own immediate family.

Made me go to the pediatric dentist on numerous occasions. Teeth are such a social signifier. Best thing she did out of her mostly indifferent parenting.

They pushed me to study abroad in college (and funded it). I was a little nervous about spending several months across the ocean at age 20, but it ended up being such an amazing experience that helped me build more independence at navigating a foreign country by myself.

Obviously not every family can swing this, but if you can it’s a great opportunity.

They pushed me to take ballet classes I hated and they pushed me to attend a competitive music school, which i loved.

They pushed me academically to go to an elite college when I'd have been happy as a hairdresser or an actor, but it was good I went, in the long run.

Nothing. They let us take the lead, follow our passions, and quit when something no longer brought us joy. I am eternally grateful for knowing that it’s okay to give up on something if it isn’t making your life better or more enjoyable (as a perfectionist I really, really needed to know that). At the same time, they were willing to take hobbies as far as we wanted to and chauffeured us all over the state to competitions and camps and classes.

Have manners (please, thank you, hold door, offer up seat, etc) and be aware of other people (not cutting people off, not reaching my arm across them, etc).