How do you "not allow dating?" My kid has been 18 for most of senior year. Sure, we pay for the cell phone and food but she manages the rest of her expenses including working summer jobs for all her spending money and clothing money. She is a top student and is going to an Ivy this fall (threw that in because I know it rights any wrongs in the eyes of many DCUM posters).

So how was I to "forbid dating" when my kid is an adult? Pray tell, how did you do it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason we don’t allow dating in high school. Then it just moves to drama in college and potential waste of a social life. Kid can date someone in college that goes to their school.

Pleases. Dating in HS is only to facilitate getting rid of the pesky virginity and getting their sexual needs met. And that too in certain cultures. This makes the kids ready to sleep around with multiple people in college. Nobody is finding their lifemate in HS.

Also, American parents also want their children to have a sex life so that they will most likely leave the nest. Sex is used by parents to get young people teamed with their sexual partners, so that they would want to be in their own accommodations, so that they can have unfettered access to sex. Teen sex is used by parents to sweeten the fact that they want their kids gone from home by 16-18..

Plenty do. But lots of those marriages don’t make it.

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason we don’t allow dating in high school. Then it just moves to drama in college and potential waste of a social life. Kid can date someone in college that goes to their school.

We do not explicitly not allow it, but I’m so glad it hasn’t been a factor yet. I had several friends who maintained relationships with boyfriends throughout college and they seriously curtailed their own social lives. Lots of regret.

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason we don’t allow dating in high school. Then it just moves to drama in college and potential waste of a social life. Kid can date someone in college that goes to their school.

Pleases. Dating in HS is only to facilitate getting rid of the pesky virginity and getting their sexual needs met. And that too in certain cultures. This makes the kids ready to sleep around with multiple people in college. Nobody is finding their lifemate in HS.

Also, American parents also want their children to have a sex life so that they will most likely leave the nest. Sex is used by parents to get young people teamed with their sexual partners, so that they would want to be in their own accommodations, so that they can have unfettered access to sex. Teen sex is used by parents to sweeten the fact that they want their kids gone from home by 16-18..

This is one reason we don’t allow dating in high school. Then it just moves to drama in college and potential waste of a social life. Kid can date someone in college that goes to their school.

They stayed together through college and grad school, despite never being closer than a 1000 miles, and are now finally living together and engaged. I think they are the exception rather than the norm, but I always thought they would stay together because they are so compatible and comfortable with each other.

My DC and boyfriend split the day before they left for college. It was the plan all along, which they discussed all through their senior year. They dated for 2+ years in high school. They second guessed it a few times (first year during Thanksgiving and Christmas), but ultimately both moved on.

Know a kid that stayed together long distance with girlfriend for about 2 years. Know another guy that is 30 and living with his high school girlfriend. I don’t think they broke up in college but were at different schools one in Midwest and the other West Coast.

I do know one couple that broke up during college, got back together in their late 20s and got married.

But most are done by Thanksgiving.

I broke up with my boyfriend before I went to college- and then got back together with him. I kinda wish I didn't - we are still married.

Many break up at the end of summer, more break up by Thanksgiving break. A few will stick it out.

I think it’s very healthy to not commit if you are that far apart. If it was meant to be, it will be. But go explore and be your own person for awhile.

Broke up at start of sophomore year

Rising senior. Newish relationship.
Will see. 😬

They tried to keep it going by visiting each other once a month, but I think the distance was too much. It was too hard for DC to have their own social life at college because they were always trying to be there for when their s/o was available.

They broke up after 1.5 years into college. DC was heartbroken, but I think they see how toxic it was.

I told DC that it was going to be incredibly difficult to stay together, but they really thought they were going to be together forever. They had even talked about marriage. I said, "too young', but that's how far in advance DC was thinking about their future together.