Young adults adjust. No obligation

Yeah you are all family centric yada yada and stay. Kid stops coming home except once starting junior year.
After gets job never wants to come home. Hahhah. Guess they aren't obligated.

I felt obligated for all of about .8 nanoseconds.

We will stay in the same area, but not necessarily the same home, when they go off to college. They want to be able to come home and see their friends, which is fine.

I would love to sell my big house and get a smaller one after the last one leaves for college.

My older kid is a senior in college, and between being away and internships and whatnot, they are hardly ever home anyways. We just moved their stuff into the smaller bedroom, and they were fine with it. But, I want them to come for the holidays, and when they do, they want to also see their friends.

We had planned to sell after everyone graduated. Realized with no mortgage and a great location it seemed silly to move.

Anonymous wrote:After your children leave the nest, do you feel obligated to stay in the home where you raised them or do most people end up selling/renting and moving elsewhere?

Do you feel obligated to stay in the home after any set period of time. As a young college student before I flew off, I would come home during college breaks and always felt a level of stability knowing my parents were there.

Since then, my parents have moved and now travel the world.

Thank you, this post means so much to me!!

We raised our kids in a large home in a lovely and boring neighborhood in a fancy NOVA suburb. It was the perfect place to be until we didn’t need the schools anymore. We sold the house and moved into the city when our youngest was halfway through college. Our youngest wasn’t happy about it, but got over it quickly. It’s not like we moved to Mexico.

More than a decade later we’re still here and all of our kids are settled in the area as well. It’s worked out great.

The suburbs are designed and marketed to families with kids. There’s no reason to live there without them. We were itching to get out as soon as we became empty nesters and saw zero reason to wait any longer than we did.

Anonymous wrote:You can move. The children do not care.

My children went to boarding school, then uni with summers spent traveling, then got jobs and moved. This living in one house for 40 years is completely provincial and depressing.

Clearly not the close family dynamic that others prefer to experience.

Anonymous wrote:You can move. The children do not care.

My children went to boarding school, then uni with summers spent traveling, then got jobs and moved. This living in one house for 40 years is completely provincial and depressing.

Some of us prefer to actively raise our children.

Anonymous wrote:My plan is to stay put for a year or two, and then ... go. Details tbd. But my ex is in the same city, so the kids can stay there when they come back.

I also plan to keep the house as a rental; they can be my tenants (at a discount of course) if they want to live in their hometown after college.

Get ready to pay taxes on the rent without being able to deduct any expenses.

I’d like to stay in our home until a few years after our youngest graduates from college.
My parents moved across the country when I was in college, from a big house to two bedroom apartment. All of the sudden, I couldn’t drive home for breaks. I also didn’t have anywhere to park my stuff until I figured out my next steps. It sucked.

I’m so torn on this.

I have wanted to move out of NoVA since DS was in 3rd grade. We committed to staying in this house until he graduated so he had some continuity. That’s 10 years longer than I wanted to. I suspect we’ll end up here until he’s out of college, by which point I’ll only be 4 years away from an FCPS pension so we’ll probably stay for that.

And then I am so done with traffic! I’m off to be a snow bird and have a house in some quiet beach town/another in New England.

Since we weren’t retiring when they were in college we stayed put. We will make the change when the timing is right for us. It made no sense to move to a different home in the same area while they were in college.

Anonymous wrote:You can move. The children do not care.

My children went to boarding school, then uni with summers spent traveling, then got jobs and moved. This living in one house for 40 years is completely provincial and depressing.

My kids do care. We were a military family, and did a lot of moves prior to late middle school.

We aren't tied to this house forever, but we are choosing to stay until they are settled in their adult lives.

Anonymous wrote:You can move. The children do not care.

My children went to boarding school, then uni with summers spent traveling, then got jobs and moved. This living in one house for 40 years is completely provincial and depressing.

My parents moved right after I graduated HS. I'm not mad or anything, but I was definitely somewhat untethered until I made my own home in my late 20s. It is what it is. I'm ok, but I see others who "go home" even in middle age, see friends they've known for 40 years, find their old yearbooks in the attic, etc. And I don't have that. The only home I have is the one I'm in right now.