For everyone saying “separate bills” not every restaurant will allow this with large groups particularly during busy seasons. So don’t bet on that as an option.

1. Each family buys own tickets
2. Each family pays for a meal in total for everyone. It rotates so you don’t have to Venmo.
3. Lay this out before the trip.
It’s not all so messy OP.

Separate bills at restaurants. If that doesn't work we'll just venmo each other. We don't nickle and dime each other about groceries (our all-family trips are always a rental house) but generally all take a turn running to the store to pick up stuff.

Anonymous wrote:We'll be going on a trip with some in laws (MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL, and their kids). This will be in a city and we plan to meet up to do things together, like museums, dinner, attractions. How do people handle this money wise? I guess museums it is easy for everyone to buy their own tickets but what about dinners? Are you all venmo'ing family members? It seems so messy.

I am one of six. DH is one of 8. He and I have four young adult kids between us. Some of our siblings have 0 kids (minors or young adults) and some have 5. In addition, while some of us are comfortable, others are struggling. There is no fair way to equally split everything. Sometimes we do divide by the number of people.

I have an unmarried, child free brother who pays for all of kids to do one activity.

We take turns paying when eating out. For tickets we just pay separately.

We split the check and call it a day! Not that hard.

We split by evening. Each couple is in charge of dinner on a given night and picks up the check. Those will financial limitations might elect to cook in at the rental house or pick a less expensive option. Others might treat the group to a nicer night out.

We did this recently with an uncle and his adult kids (our kids are younger). One person paid for everything and at the end we Venmo’d our half. We did not try to make it exact. My husband eats a lot but we don’t drink. Uncle and wife drank. We just called it even.

This was just easier as we were together for 2 weeks and that is a lot of meals.

If grandparents join, they pay for everything. Otherwise, we use Splitwise.

In our family, with wildly different income levels, we split things up by meal, and then the person or family providing that meal decides what or how they can afford to provide.

So, for example, when we go to the beach, I always cook when it's my turn. I buy things that are nicer than I might buy at home, or spend a little longer on the meal than I might at home, but it's still way less money than a restaurant.

My FIL always takes us out for crabs when it's his turn. That costs a lot more! On the other hand, he's doing less work than me! That's his choice and we of course are very thankful and appreciative of the crabs. But I don't feel guilty about not paying for them, just like he is always thankful and compliments my cooking, but doesn't feel guilty.

Same thing for activities. My wealthy BIL likes to golf and he'll announce he's going golfing and the older kids are invited. If he says this that means he's paying. On another day, I might take the kids somewhere that's in my budget.

I would go with the assumption that each family covers themselves. Maybe parents say tonight is our treat one night.. Maybe kids are treating parents one night. But assume you are covering your group.

Anonymous wrote:What is the in laws are rich? Would you expect them to pay?

What if the children are rich(er)? Would you expect them to take care of the bill for the parents?

No.
Zero expectations

Anonymous wrote:We'll be going on a trip with some in laws (MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL, and their kids). This will be in a city and we plan to meet up to do things together, like museums, dinner, attractions. How do people handle this money wise? I guess museums it is easy for everyone to buy their own tickets but what about dinners? Are you all venmo'ing family members? It seems so messy.

Indian-American family here. We pay for everything for my in-laws. My husband and my BIL split the other expenses.

In my family, we tend to trip over each other trying to get the bill and pay for it.

Pay your own way.
Don’t act surprised when the bill arrives - and you’ve indulged.
Bring cash if need be.
Stay within your own budget
Don’t inquire on what others are spending