I've introduced my daughter to a few people in very casual group settings, so I could see how they get along without any pressure or risk of attachment. Can you do that on both sides before you think about having the kids meet each other?

We have an agreement not to introduce anyone until one year since he left me (which was sudden . . . we had had sex just before). He immediately "started" dating his friend when he left. I'll see what happens once it's been a year (in 3 months). I don't think it's going to go well for him. The kids are going to figure out that it was an affair in no time.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure if I started dating someone today, my kids would be OK with it. They spend a lot of time telling me I'm cute and a catch, and some man is going to snatch me up, lol. But obviously I would wait until we'd been serious for at least six months; that's what the experts recommend.

Anonymous wrote:My ex wife introduced our son to her boyfriend and our son just ran to his room and shut his door. He is 14. Then she blamed me. First I didn't even know she was dating. And second I didn't even know she was introducing our son to someone. So I guess it went bad for her.

I’m guessing she divorced you because you’re a petulant child. Good for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not until you have a ring.

That's unbelievably dumb. You wouldn't want to see how they get along with the kid before agreeing to marriage?

Hell no! I’d marry them regardless. Didn’t matter what the kids thought, they’d be gone soon enough!

My mom did this, I was 15 and my sister was 13. That decision didn’t work out for us as a family. Bad things happened.

In my situation my kids have known his kids for a long time before we connected and while they are different ages they get along very nicely. They know we are dating but we have no intention in combining families though that could change once we become empty nesters. We periodically do things together but given the age differences it’s not something we do a lot.

Anonymous wrote:My ex wife introduced our son to her boyfriend and our son just ran to his room and shut his door. He is 14. Then she blamed me. First I didn't even know she was dating. And second I didn't even know she was introducing our son to someone. So I guess it went bad for her.

That moron probably blames u for all of her problems

Just a year ? You don’t even know how your relationship is going pan out yet. Why not slow down because this has so much potential to do long term harm to your relationship with your kids. Why do the kids ‘need’ to meet ???

If there's a way to go to an event or a pool or something where there are other people (not just you guys), I would think that would take the pressure off.

What I did was introduce the new partner 1 year after dating and 3 years after divorce by having dinner with him and the kid. We did things with kid once a week for like 6 months; the new partner never slept over. We also usually didn't have the partner come to the house. Eventually things became more frequent. I've been with partner for 4 years now. He and kid are friends but kid recognizes that partner is not their step-dad. Regardless, kid says that they think of partner as a father type.

Sometimes life doesn't go as you planned

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Blended families don’t work. Just be with him and minimize any involvement with the kids until they are done with school. Blending is a ridiculously selfish cliche.

+1. Keep your dating life separate.

My ex wife introduced our son to her boyfriend and our son just ran to his room and shut his door. He is 14. Then she blamed me. First I didn't even know she was dating. And second I didn't even know she was introducing our son to someone. So I guess it went bad for her.