Anonymous wrote:+1
I’m suspicious too.
We’ve been sold a bad deal.
Most women I know would love to be full-time homemakers raising children at home instead of laboring to help a corporation turn a meaningless profit. But it’s too late for that now.
Our standard of living has now outpaced the ability to provide a “good life” on one inclome. Sadly, we’ve sealed our own feminist fate.

You must hang around different women than I do. No mother I know wants to be their husband’s dependent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to work and be a mom. My brains will melt at home w/t a job. Yes, school hours are challenging but manageable — one parent drops off, the other picks up. Let people vent and complain! Once they go on vacation that they can afford due to dual income, and provide kids with extra curriculars that they can afford in this area due to dual income, they will feel better and choose work over staying at home again and again.

No, not everyone would make the same choices you make. The point is to have the choice and not be told you have to stay at home or you have to work. Not by a man and not by another woman.

DCUM is definitely going backward if we are fighting the mommy wars again.

The anti-feminists would very much love it if women didn’t have a choice. When they criticize “feminism” what do you think that means, exactly? The legal protections women won to give them choice: job protections so they couldn’t be fired for being a woman or being pregnant; equal educational and sports opportunities; the ability have a credit card and take out a mortgage; and probably most importantly the ability to control their reproduction (birth control is still legal and not going anywhere).

And some “feminists” want to shame some women who choose not to work outside the home rather than recognizing that the feminist movement was about being able to make choices, not which choice to make. Real feminists support that ability to choose and the mechanisms that make that possible. They don’t call people trad wives and tell them how to live.

Anonymous wrote:Life can get bad for women who don't have a way of earning money and don't have legal protections. They can become trapped in abusive marriages or discarded and left with no way to support themselves.
The solution is flexible working arrangements for both spouses so each (if they choose) can maintain their voice and earning power.

That’s the point for them. If women need men to avoid poverty, homelessness, etc. suddenly it’s a lot easier for unsuitable men to reproduce.

On I'm Chicago and I saw the exact same post. It was on Facebook. I am inundated in Facebook with stuff about "overwhelmed moms" and it feels synthetic to me. Also lots of stuff about lazy uninvolved husbands which mine is certainly not.
Somebody out there wants you resentful.
I work half time hours and I am happy and not overwhelmed at all. Of course I don't make DCUM money.

Life can get bad for women who don't have a way of earning money and don't have legal protections. They can become trapped in abusive marriages or discarded and left with no way to support themselves.
The solution is flexible working arrangements for both spouses so each (if they choose) can maintain their voice and earning power.

I still can’t get over how the OP has apparently never considered that most children have another parent called a father who can also do school pickups.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to work and be a mom. My brains will melt at home w/t a job. Yes, school hours are challenging but manageable — one parent drops off, the other picks up. Let people vent and complain! Once they go on vacation that they can afford due to dual income, and provide kids with extra curriculars that they can afford in this area due to dual income, they will feel better and choose work over staying at home again and again.

No, not everyone would make the same choices you make. The point is to have the choice and not be told you have to stay at home or you have to work. Not by a man and not by another woman.

DCUM is definitely going backward if we are fighting the mommy wars again.

The anti-feminists would very much love it if women didn’t have a choice. When they criticize “feminism” what do you think that means, exactly? The legal protections women won to give them choice: job protections so they couldn’t be fired for being a woman or being pregnant; equal educational and sports opportunities; the ability have a credit card and take out a mortgage; and probably most importantly the ability to control their reproduction (birth control is still legal and not going anywhere).

9-5 is pretty ridiculous hours. Try working 7-3:30 or 8-4 instead and then it matches school hours better. I often leave at 5:30am, dh takes the kids to school and then I'm home by 3pm. It frees up the whole afternoon for me to be with kids.

My kids do after school activities and those activities (tae kwon do, ballet, gymnastics, kumon) all pick up from school and take them directly there. Technically they can all stay there until 6:30pm and occasionally I need it if I'm in long meetings downtown or something.

And yes, we all have choices. I wanted to have 3 kids, 5 bedroom house, nice vacations, college paid for. It's expensive. I know plenty of SAHMs who live in tiny apartments with 2 bedrooms and still live happy lives. America is great in that we do have choices. Become a trad wife if that makes you happy. Or marry a man who pulls his 50% (like I did). We all chose our majors, careers, spouses, houses. Change your choices if they aren't working for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1
I’m suspicious too.
We’ve been sold a bad deal.
Most women I know would love to be full-time homemakers raising children at home instead of laboring to help a corporation turn a meaningless profit. But it’s too late for that now.
Our standard of living has now outpaced the ability to provide a “good life” on one inclome. Sadly, we’ve sealed our own feminist fate.

Pfft. Then you have to trust a man to be able to work and bring home enough money to support your lifestyle. You also have to make sure you “keep him happy at home” to ensure he doesn’t “stray”

The answer doesn’t lie in going backwards, it is in more lenient hours, part-time work, more parental leave etc. This requires employers to change with the help of government.

Don’t exchange one story for another one that is worse. Keep moving toward real workplace changes for BOTH genders.

+1
Why is feminism to blame when we have corporate heads getting huge bonuses and squeezing workers to work insane hours and laying them off periodically? We should all be working a 30 hour week to allow for life. It would also be better for democracy and society. The government missed an opportunity to switch a 40 hour week to a 30 hour week, when women started working.

This. Your complaint is with capitalism. But the billionaire class, mostly men, prefers you blame feminism.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1
I’m suspicious too.
We’ve been sold a bad deal.
Most women I know would love to be full-time homemakers raising children at home instead of laboring to help a corporation turn a meaningless profit. But it’s too late for that now.
Our standard of living has now outpaced the ability to provide a “good life” on one inclome. Sadly, we’ve sealed our own feminist fate.

Pfft. Then you have to trust a man to be able to work and bring home enough money to support your lifestyle. You also have to make sure you “keep him happy at home” to ensure he doesn’t “stray”

The answer doesn’t lie in going backwards, it is in more lenient hours, part-time work, more parental leave etc. This requires employers to change with the help of government.

Don’t exchange one story for another one that is worse. Keep moving toward real workplace changes for BOTH genders.

+1

So glad I didn’t sacrifice my earning power.

+2. I hate the 40 hour work week but I also would hate being unable to earn money at all.

Anonymous wrote:I want to work and be a mom. My brains will melt at home w/t a job. Yes, school hours are challenging but manageable — one parent drops off, the other picks up. Let people vent and complain! Once they go on vacation that they can afford due to dual income, and provide kids with extra curriculars that they can afford in this area due to dual income, they will feel better and choose work over staying at home again and again.

No, not everyone would make the same choices you make. The point is to have the choice and not be told you have to stay at home or you have to work. Not by a man and not by another woman.

DCUM is definitely going backward if we are fighting the mommy wars again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1
I’m suspicious too.
We’ve been sold a bad deal.
Most women I know would love to be full-time homemakers raising children at home instead of laboring to help a corporation turn a meaningless profit. But it’s too late for that now.
Our standard of living has now outpaced the ability to provide a “good life” on one inclome. Sadly, we’ve sealed our own feminist fate.

Pfft. Then you have to trust a man to be able to work and bring home enough money to support your lifestyle. You also have to make sure you “keep him happy at home” to ensure he doesn’t “stray”

The answer doesn’t lie in going backwards, it is in more lenient hours, part-time work, more parental leave etc. This requires employers to change with the help of government.

Don’t exchange one story for another one that is worse. Keep moving toward real workplace changes for BOTH genders.

+1

So glad I didn’t sacrifice my earning power.

Anonymous wrote:I want to work and be a mom. My brains will melt at home w/t a job. Yes, school hours are challenging but manageable — one parent drops off, the other picks up. Let people vent and complain! Once they go on vacation that they can afford due to dual income, and provide kids with extra curriculars that they can afford in this area due to dual income, they will feel better and choose work over staying at home again and again.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1
I’m suspicious too.
We’ve been sold a bad deal.
Most women I know would love to be full-time homemakers raising children at home instead of laboring to help a corporation turn a meaningless profit. But it’s too late for that now.
Our standard of living has now outpaced the ability to provide a “good life” on one inclome. Sadly, we’ve sealed our own feminist fate.

Pfft. Then you have to trust a man to be able to work and bring home enough money to support your lifestyle. You also have to make sure you “keep him happy at home” to ensure he doesn’t “stray”

The answer doesn’t lie in going backwards, it is in more lenient hours, part-time work, more parental leave etc. This requires employers to change with the help of government.

Don’t exchange one story for another one that is worse. Keep moving toward real workplace changes for BOTH genders.

+1
Why is feminism to blame when we have corporate heads getting huge bonuses and squeezing workers to work insane hours and laying them off periodically? We should all be working a 30 hour week to allow for life. It would also be better for democracy and society. The government missed an opportunity to switch a 40 hour week to a 30 hour week, when women started working.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1
I’m suspicious too.
We’ve been sold a bad deal.
Most women I know would love to be full-time homemakers raising children at home instead of laboring to help a corporation turn a meaningless profit. But it’s too late for that now.
Our standard of living has now outpaced the ability to provide a “good life” on one inclome. Sadly, we’ve sealed our own feminist fate.

Pfft. Then you have to trust a man to be able to work and bring home enough money to support your lifestyle. You also have to make sure you “keep him happy at home” to ensure he doesn’t “stray”

The answer doesn’t lie in going backwards, it is in more lenient hours, part-time work, more parental leave etc. This requires employers to change with the help of government.

Don’t exchange one story for another one that is worse. Keep moving toward real workplace changes for BOTH genders.

And lower expectations. Plenty of people have less stressful lives because they create a less stressful life.