Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 14:16     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
He sounds miserable! What man/father would not want to spend or celebrate this day with his grown son also celebrating his first Fathers Day? That to me, is odd.

He sounds diagnosed for some kind of personality disorder and I am sorry for you. Is he open to seeing a dr about it? If so, that could make for happier less volatile days ahead.

It sounds like he comprised on the later time to have lunch? If he was aware then shame on him for blowing up and acting like that plan was not made.

I have zero patience, I would have jumped in my car met my son and DIL, had a nice lunch somewhere then gone home. If your husband chooses to not partake, no reason why everyone else has to suffer too.

Sorry the day did not go as planned!
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 14:12     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
Your husband had plans with the handy man prior to your plans, not sure why you’d expect him to change his plans to meet your forced lunch plans.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 14:10     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
Sounds like my husband (not ASD). Having a nice family day or ANY nice family time was like pulling teeth and it made it all suck. Feel fortunate that your son and daughter in law still want to be around. Not all adult kids want to keep up being around miserable parents
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 14:06     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
Anonymous wrote:Op, your DH could be mine. I am sorry for you son, and my DH would be sleeping on the couch for ruining his first Father's Day. There would be no conversation. I long ago stopped allowing his moodiness affect the rest of the family. And your DH yelled at you in front of a handyman? WTF is wrong with you that you let him do that?


My God you sound like a nightmare wife too. You and OP should be friends.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 14:04     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
Op, your DH could be mine. I am sorry for you son, and my DH would be sleeping on the couch for ruining his first Father's Day. There would be no conversation. I long ago stopped allowing his moodiness affect the rest of the family. And your DH yelled at you in front of a handyman? WTF is wrong with you that you let him do that?
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 14:02     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
Anonymous wrote:Love my husband, but I will be the first to tell you. He’s extremely moody. In fact I wouldn’t even be surprised if he is bipolar. He told me that he really was looking forward to just having a day to kind of do what he wants, which means puttering around the garage maybe looking at his golf clubs, etc.

I have no problem with that however, our son is celebrating his first Father’s Day and they are leaving for vacation this afternoon however he asked if we could have lunch today-an early lunch. When I told my husband he said no because he had a handyman coming over to the house to do some work and wanted to make it later.

I said that they were leaving and they couldn’t do it much later but that we would make it half an hour later as a fair compromise. He was well aware. so today, my son calls to confirm the plan my husband loses it in front of the handyman and me screaming why did I make that plan etc. as though having the handyman there is the most important thing when we really should’ve all been out together celebrating Father’s Day not only for my husband for my son as well. my daughter-in-law was also very upset, she was all dressed up to go, and we all thought it was a confirmed plan.

He was also so incredibly rude, and I cannot find a single way to justify this behavior. I’ve included all of the pertinent facts and would be curious as to how you would handle it. I am super tempted to get in my car and go away for a night. The fact that on a day that he knows fathers are celebrated. He would choose to have a handyman. Come to do nonsense around the house and allow that to dictate the day is outrageous in my opinion



Your husband told you what he wanted.

The compromise should have been figuring out a different time to celebrate. Not pushing a different time he didn't truly agree to.
It seems like you are used to just bowling him over when it suits you and he's sick of it.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 13:52     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
Anonymous wrote:Men do not want a celebration on Fathers' Day. None of them, probably not even your son. Your husband told you very specifically what he wanted to do today, and you and your daughter-in-law ignored his request and planned some sort of celebration that involves dressing up. And now you're mad because he didn't want to get dressed up to go out to celebrate himself. Fathers' Day is a commercial invention, not a religious holiday. There is no requirement to God or anyone that you go out and eat mediocre food that day.


This. He told you he wanted a quiet day. You ignored him and planned what you wanted, for the imaginary husband you wish you had. He told you the time wasn't good. You slightly moved it and announced it but he never agreed. He does sound difficult and antisocial, but this is mainly on you, OP.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 13:50     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
It's not a real holiday. It's okay to treat it like any other day. You and your son easily could have agreed to celebrate on another day rather than trying to cram something in between the handyman and a trip.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 13:40     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
He does not sound moody, he sounds like a reasonable man dealing with an unreasonable wife.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 13:36     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
Men do not want a celebration on Fathers' Day. None of them, probably not even your son. Your husband told you very specifically what he wanted to do today, and you and your daughter-in-law ignored his request and planned some sort of celebration that involves dressing up. And now you're mad because he didn't want to get dressed up to go out to celebrate himself. Fathers' Day is a commercial invention, not a religious holiday. There is no requirement to God or anyone that you go out and eat mediocre food that day.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 13:36     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
He shouldn’t have reacted that strongly.

But you told him that he could have the day to do what he wanted and then ignored/insulted what he wanted. I am sure you can see why that hurt his feelings.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 13:35     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
It sounds like he wanted a day to himself. And he didn’t get a day to himself.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 13:34     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
It really is. What kind of man doesn't want to celebrate father's day with his own son and baby grandchild.

Drop the rope OP. Start doing your own thing
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 13:34     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
Who hears the word no then turns around and makes plans anyhow? Are you the bipolar one OP?
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2025 13:33     Subject: why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day
Anonymous wrote:If your dh was aware and ok with the lunch time and then flipped out anyway, then yeah he is being an ahole.

At that point I would have just gone to lunch and left him in the garage.



^ and you should accept that your vision of father's day is not what your dh's is and stop trying to force it.

Make and live your own life. It is his loss.