I think you need to be careful here. I work with almost all men and I would be annoyed if one of my colleagues wives wanted them to not be friendly with me. If he was really looking for an affair it would be dumb to flirt in front of you.

Eh, I think it's fine to flirt. Makes the hard work more pleasant. The line shouldn't be at "flirting". It should be at "affair".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you cope when your DH works with one (literally just one) person, and it’s a young, attractive woman that you hear him crossing the line with all the time?

We’ve talked 100 times about it but, of course, it always comes back to “It’s my job.” Feels like I just have to sit here and eat it.

Is he a Pimp?

😩

A few months ago I was tasked with mentoring a new female colleague. After 2 days I asked my boss to find someone else by giving some bogus reason. She was 25 absolutely gorgeous. I just couldn't focus around her. I never told DW as I didn't want to hurt her feelings as we are both in our late 40s.

Is "you did a really good job I am glad we are working together" line crossing? NO.

Give examples or get over yourself OP.

Anonymous wrote:I was a federal employee for years, and when we had the total WFH wave sweep through during COVID, I had so many colleagues (male and female) tell me that they had never realized how flirtatious their spouse was at work until they started teleworking at home together. Everyone’s interpersonal relationships were on full display, and it’s something we don’t often get to see. Many divorces. Whether or not the revelation that their spouses were crossing boundaries left and right contributed to this? Who knows.

I find this hard to believe. What kind of behavior were these people witnessing? I have been a fed and now I'm not but I've always had mostly male colleagues and I don't think I say or do anything with them that would bother their spouses (or mine). I wouldn't do things differently if their spouses (or mine) were present. You can be friendly with people of the opposite sex without being inappropriate with them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is crossing the line part of his job?

He views it as being “friendly” and “team building”. He’s like, “What? Do you want me to be cold?”

Obviously he's gaslighting you. I am very friendly with a lot of men, some co-workers, some friends' husbands, some fathers of my kids' friends, but I'm not inappropriate with any of them, nor am I cold.

Anonymous wrote:How do you cope when your DH works with one (literally just one) person, and it’s a young, attractive woman that you hear him crossing the line with all the time?

We’ve talked 100 times about it but, of course, it always comes back to “It’s my job.” Feels like I just have to sit here and eat it.

Is he a Pimp?

When I was in my 20s, I worked in an office with mostly men, two or three of which were flirty. Only one was actually married . I thought they were creepy, but had to play along because they were senior to me. Looking back on it, not only do I think they were even more creepy, but realize it was really sad and disgusting that they actually needed this self-confidence boost of flirting with a 25-year-old when they were 50. Maybe take that angle with your husband. And for the record, any 25-year-old woman who actually enjoys flirting with a 50-year-old married man has her own deep self worth issues too.