I send my kids to day camps without friends. One year, DD was having a tough time with friendships changing at school. At camp she realized that she can make new friends. DS is not particularly social and doesn’t make friends easily. He mostly goes to camps that particularly meet his interests and he also finds kids to hang out with. In fact, the weeks he’s gone to camp with a good friend it often hasn’t worked as planned. One kid enjoyed camp more, or the friend missed a bunch of days.

Anonymous wrote:For day camps I will sometimes send friends the list of camps we are doing and ask if anyone wants to carpool. Sometimes a friend will join. But I'm not planning it around them.

For sleepaway, yes, we make sure a friend or cousin is going the same week. It's a lot to be away from everyone and helps to have at least one connection imo.

+1

I have sent my kids on their own to camp, ski school, etc since they were tiny. I put my 4 year old in ski school in Europe and he was totally fine, especially since that was the norm for all the other kids as well. I would have thought twice if he was the only kid not to know anyone else.

I think it’s harder when they get to the age of having real friends (8/9/10 years old), but I also think it’s good for them to be able to walk into a situation and have to reach out and make friends. Of course, I am relying on the counselors to help facilitate social interactions, so you can’t just throw your kids into any camp on their own. Today, both my kids prefer having a friend, but they will still be happy to go to classes and camps on their own.

My 12 year old is about to go to a 3 week backpacking camp without knowing anyone, and hasn’t mentioned any worries about meeting people. His school friends are buddying up for camp, and their parents tell me that they refuse to go without a friend. I think is normal, but going with a friend will limit their experience because they won’t be as open to meeting others. I’m not sending my kid to camp for him to just hang out with his friend from home. I can’t say for sure that my kids are the way they are because of their history of going to camps on their own, but I think it did help them feel less anxiety about going into new situations.

Anonymous wrote:We plan around friends if we can. So my kids have a mix of camps with friends and without. I will say, if you are doing a different camp every single week of the summer, that is a LOT of starting over each Monday.

It's usually not too hard to coordinate with a few friends to say "hey we're doing basketball camp this week, do you wanna join?" and if they can, great and if not, ok.

But mine are way more excited if they don't go in cold. I'm not worried about their social skills in general though, so maybe that's part of it too. Their friends at school are great kids.

Oh, it’s different if it’s a week long day camp. I thought we were talking about sleep away camp.
Yes. We generally coordinate with other parents at least for carpooling.

No.

I only plan around for my daughter because she wants familiar faces and she is more scared. I never did for my son because he can go to any day or sleepaway camp by himself knowing nobody. He is not social, but I think it is good sometimes knowing nobody going to a camp by yourself. You can be your own self and there won't be any prejudices and less dramas/burden.

We plan around friends if we can. So my kids have a mix of camps with friends and without. I will say, if you are doing a different camp every single week of the summer, that is a LOT of starting over each Monday.

It's usually not too hard to coordinate with a few friends to say "hey we're doing basketball camp this week, do you wanna join?" and if they can, great and if not, ok.

But mine are way more excited if they don't go in cold. I'm not worried about their social skills in general though, so maybe that's part of it too. Their friends at school are great kids.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think it's better to go not knowing anyone. It's good to step outside of your comfort zone and force yourself to make friends.

My DC is not naturally outgoing but handles herself well at camps filled with new people.

Same. I think it's part of the learning experience, so I actually prefer if they don't.

I did this to my daughter last year and it was a disaster. She cried every day. It was so sad. I chose the camp at her school because I figured she at least was familiar with the setting and hoped a few kids from her school would go, but they didn't. This year I chose the camp her best friend is at. Fingers crossed it goes better.

Anonymous wrote:No, whether sleep away camp or day camp, I think it’s a better experience if they go in not knowing anyone.

Knowing a friend already can be problematic: it can make your kid want to only hang around them and not meet anyone or it can create expectations that since they are already friends, they need to socialize at camp. But the friend may meet someone at camp on the bus there and or whatever, and now your kid feels left out or a third wheel. That happens A LOT at camp when go already having friends. Friendships are different at camp than they are at school,neighborhood etc.

This has been my thought too!

Anonymous wrote:No, whether sleep away camp or day camp, I think it’s a better experience if they go in not knowing anyone.

Knowing a friend already can be problematic: it can make your kid want to only hang around them and not meet anyone or it can create expectations that since they are already friends, they need to socialize at camp. But the friend may meet someone at camp on the bus there and or whatever, and now your kid feels left out or a third wheel. That happens A LOT at camp when go already having friends. Friendships are different at camp than they are at school,neighborhood etc.

This! Way better not to know anyone.

Anonymous wrote:No, whether sleep away camp or day camp, I think it’s a better experience if they go in not knowing anyone.

Knowing a friend already can be problematic: it can make your kid want to only hang around them and not meet anyone or it can create expectations that since they are already friends, they need to socialize at camp. But the friend may meet someone at camp on the bus there and or whatever, and now your kid feels left out or a third wheel. That happens A LOT at camp when go already having friends. Friendships are different at camp than they are at school,neighborhood etc.

I've observed that, too. I kind of wish camps posted that in their sign-up materials.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think it's better to go not knowing anyone. It's good to step outside of your comfort zone and force yourself to make friends.

My DC is not naturally outgoing but handles herself well at camps filled with new people.

This has been true for my kids as well.

They do have some friends whose parents are scrambling each year to make sure they have at least one friend at each camp week. From the outside perspective in not sure it's been in their kids' best interest.

I work at resident camp and the kids make new friends quickly. Don’t worry about it.

Anonymous wrote:For day camps I will sometimes send friends the list of camps we are doing and ask if anyone wants to carpool. Sometimes a friend will join. But I'm not planning it around them.

For sleepaway, yes, we make sure a friend or cousin is going the same week. It's a lot to be away from everyone and helps to have at least one connection imo.

This is our approach too. As mine has gotten older, she's become more adamant about having a friend. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, and that's ok. For sleep away, we do coordinate with someone she knows.