Anonymous
06/05/2025 13:49
Subject: Re:Equality vs Equity
Equal - always equal. Do not create problems.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 13:47
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Equal. You have no idea what the future holds for either of them. For all you know, they could both experience a reversal of fortune in any number of ways.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 13:44
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Equally. I'm the sibling who got it together. I'd be so so furious if my parents gave my sibling more. My sibling has chosen to take years off work (despite having a masters) to "find herself." I'm sure I had luck in my life, but sibling had just as much access to that luck that I had.
With 8 figures, you should be setting up trusts for all your descendants, grandchildren included. One of my close friends has a trust fund that was started by one of her ancestors in the early 1900s and it's still going strong. It's been such a help to her, let her be a sahm for several years when having kids.
Besides the luck of being born into privilege, you had additional luck in terms of intelligence and the ability to "get it together" which your sibling was not blessed with.
What total BS. Personal responsibility and decision-making is largely a choice
Anonymous
06/05/2025 13:40
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Anonymous wrote:If your intent is to permanently damage their sibling relationship, then sure, leave them different amounts.
+1 Can't stress this enough. My father plans on giving all of his money to my lazy brother because he "needs it more." I already told my brother that I will terminate our relationship if he doesn't give me an equal share. I also have mixed feelings about my father doing something like this.
It's also complicated because your stance on equality vs equity is likely influenced by political ideology. My father is very far to the left and I think that is a factor.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 13:14
Subject: Re:Equality vs Equity
I'm so confused why you wouldn't just talk to your kids about this.
Right now, my kids are getting money even split... though #1 like yours #1 and #2 is like your #2.
I will say my #1 was way more expensive to raise than #2.
But I have family with 2 lawyers and a teacher, and everybody agreed the teacher would get a little more.
My kids are too young to know their trajectory long term but right now it's even.
Right now, my kids are getting money even split... though #1 like yours #1 and #2 is like your #2.
I will say my #1 was way more expensive to raise than #2.
But I have family with 2 lawyers and a teacher, and everybody agreed the teacher would get a little more.
My kids are too young to know their trajectory long term but right now it's even.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 12:57
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Anonymous wrote:when it comes to inheritance..
We have 2 kids. Kid 1 - Got it together, works for high tech, good career trajectory. Saves the max in tax deferred accounts since 22 ($77K this year), worked 2 jobs in college, etc. We also paid for a T20 (full pay). Kid 2 - Not so much. About as intelligent as K1 but not as driven. In-state T75.
Based on what we see, and barring the unforeseen, Kid 1 likely end up UMC/rich. Kid 2 will likely end up MC.. maybe UMC if he puts his mind to it. We plan on paying for their kids' college and other life expenses equally, if allowed. We had originally planned to will our assets (8 figure) equally between the two but now thinking of giving Kid 2 more to narrow that gap. I know some folks will chime in with "he didn't work hard enough", but as we get older I see most of life outcomes as mostly luck with a strong illusion of choice. But I digress..
What would you do? We want to start discussions on this topic with Kid 1 (older, more mature).
Curious, what you would view as equitable in this situation?
Regardless, equal split is the answer.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 12:49
Subject: Equality vs Equity
unless kid 2 is disabled this is a horrible idea. Are you always so clueless about relationships? This could create permanent resentment from the other kid and drive a wedge between your kids.
Split the inheritance equally. If kid 2 needs additional assistance while you are still here you can do that discreetly but would still be more fair to be equal about that too.
Split the inheritance equally. If kid 2 needs additional assistance while you are still here you can do that discreetly but would still be more fair to be equal about that too.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 12:47
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Anonymous wrote:Equally. I'm the sibling who got it together. I'd be so so furious if my parents gave my sibling more. My sibling has chosen to take years off work (despite having a masters) to "find herself." I'm sure I had luck in my life, but sibling had just as much access to that luck that I had.
With 8 figures, you should be setting up trusts for all your descendants, grandchildren included. One of my close friends has a trust fund that was started by one of her ancestors in the early 1900s and it's still going strong. It's been such a help to her, let her be a sahm for several years when having kids.
Besides the luck of being born into privilege, you had additional luck in terms of intelligence and the ability to "get it together" which your sibling was not blessed with.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 12:38
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Equally. I'm the sibling who got it together. I'd be so so furious if my parents gave my sibling more. My sibling has chosen to take years off work (despite having a masters) to "find herself." I'm sure I had luck in my life, but sibling had just as much access to that luck that I had.
With 8 figures, you should be setting up trusts for all your descendants, grandchildren included. One of my close friends has a trust fund that was started by one of her ancestors in the early 1900s and it's still going strong. It's been such a help to her, let her be a sahm for several years when having kids.
With 8 figures, you should be setting up trusts for all your descendants, grandchildren included. One of my close friends has a trust fund that was started by one of her ancestors in the early 1900s and it's still going strong. It's been such a help to her, let her be a sahm for several years when having kids.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 12:33
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Equality. Any other way is too damaging to your relationship with your kids and their relationship with each other.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 12:29
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Invest more in kid #2 now before the split comes later. Maybe you can help him start or buy a small business.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 12:23
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Equally.
If I’m understanding right, kid 2 is still in college? If so, I think it is pretty sad for some posters to pass judgement on them so soon. Kid 2 is still young and still figuring it out.
If I’m understanding right, kid 2 is still in college? If so, I think it is pretty sad for some posters to pass judgement on them so soon. Kid 2 is still young and still figuring it out.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 11:40
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Anonymous wrote:If your intent is to permanently damage their sibling relationship, then sure, leave them different amounts.
+1. And especially such that lazy kid gets more for doing less. Bad bad idea. $4 million is plenty for anyone to finance their lives.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 11:31
Subject: Equality vs Equity
Eat the rich. Lower the inheritance tax threshold.
Anonymous
06/05/2025 11:25
Subject: Equality vs Equity
I am significantly more well off than my sibling and on top of that I am much more involved with my aging parents' life and care, including proactively part of my father's health (he has PSP) than my sibling, who only pops in to say hi. My parents have always made clear that their estate will be split 50%/50%. Which is really the only way to go about it. If it turns out they left her more, I would be upset.
Divide your estate 50/50 between the two. It doesn't matter how much either has or how many children they have. The only exception would be a separate trust to pay for any grandchild's education or a clearly spelled out plan to give each grandchild 100k or whatever for a down payment on a house, while everything else is divided equally between the two children.
Divide your estate 50/50 between the two. It doesn't matter how much either has or how many children they have. The only exception would be a separate trust to pay for any grandchild's education or a clearly spelled out plan to give each grandchild 100k or whatever for a down payment on a house, while everything else is divided equally between the two children.