Anonymous wrote:OP here. To answer some questions…… I’m 32 and he’s 35, we don’t want kids so no rush. I had another relationship after him that was good, but haven’t had any relationship before or after that felt as comfortable as with him.

He does understand why I would be hesitant and that moving slow is a must if we are to try again.

If you are absolutely sure you don’t want kids then maybe very cautiously. But I would want to know a lot more about why he broke up with me and how he feels now.

What has he done to win you back? Is he showing you any signs you wouldn't end up in the same place again? A half-hearted dinner date is not it.

Read The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, watch carefully for the signs, and keep dating other men on the side until he BEGS you for exclusivity.

This happened to me, although we dated like 4 months before he broke up with me, then he approached me about 4 months later.

We have been married 17 years so it worked out. But we took it slow round 2 and he definitely had to show and not just say how he had changed. I would also say the balance between us shifted subtly—-and maybe has stayed that way ever since—so I feel more secure in our relationship than I might have had we never broken up. I know I will be okay no matter what, he knows he would be bereft without me

Anonymous wrote:It’s risky. If you do it, take it slow and remain active in your own life outside of the relationship.

good advice

eh maybe but you'll probably end up getting hurt again

Sounds like he has avoidant attachment. Not impossible to overcome with therapy. But it means his nervous system is wired to be fearful of intimacy. I would go very slow and ask him a lot of questions about what he’s done to change this. Talk therapy alone may or may not be enough. It’s a good sign that he sought help though, so I think there is hope here.

It’s risky. If you do it, take it slow and remain active in your own life outside of the relationship.

Nope.No moving backwards.

You could….if you can proceed w/extra caution this time.

However his track record is not too good all things considered so it might just be too risky since the previous breakup was really painful. ❤️‍🩹

Keep in mind that in most cases > a lot of times a person’s past behavior can dictate their future behavior…..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To answer some questions…… I’m 32 and he’s 35, we don’t want kids so no rush. I had another relationship after him that was good, but haven’t had any relationship before or after that felt as comfortable as with him.

He does understand why I would be hesitant and that moving slow is a must if we are to try again.

If he doesn't understand why you are skittish, then he needs more therapy. No matter, don't rush it.

Just put him through a series of tests to gauge his sincerity, including his ability to buy you expensive gifts.

Yes, test him. If he passes then commit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To answer some questions…… I’m 32 and he’s 35, we don’t want kids so no rush. I had another relationship after him that was good, but haven’t had any relationship before or after that felt as comfortable as with him.

He does understand why I would be hesitant and that moving slow is a must if we are to try again.

If he doesn't understand why you are skittish, then he needs more therapy. No matter, don't rush it.

Just put him through a series of tests to gauge his sincerity, including his ability to buy you expensive gifts.