I feel the pain of every parent on this thread. I said to my husband the other day that I don't even know who I am any more, because managing our child's outbursts and behavior has so utterly changed me as a person. It's shameful to say that our family is not happy because of a 9 year old who we love immensely and feel fiercely bound to help and care for. What a specific and miserable brand of isolation, one where you are told to be grateful for physical health and continually review "it could be worse" scenarios but have to grieve for everything you thought your life would be.

I feel your pain. I get a lot of judgement from strangers and even my in laws for the behavior of my child since he doesn’t look disabled. My greatest source of support, my mom, died recently from a horrible illness which made things even worse. She had an amazing relationship with him and offered me respite from him as well. I feel very isolated and don’t see my friends as much as I used to and I cannot work because I have not found a stable school situation for my child. I recently found a therapist that specializes in grief and parents of special needs kids that I hope will help dig me out of the pit.