Anonymous wrote:Oh god, have you seen parent swim team culture? It is the worst. Lots of SAHMs with too much time on their hands inventing "necessary" volunteer tasks like making dumbass gift bags and pressuring other moms to volunteer. You have to set out chairs, time races, etc. if he does not want to do it, let it go. Plus at ten, most of the kids will have been doing it a couple years and he might be the odd guy out.

Sign him up for more lessons, though. Give him the option between group or private. He needs to be able to swim better than that.

Gift bags? Set out chairs? We are probably what you would consider to be a pretty involved swim team family and I don't know what you are talking about.

Oh and while I am on it - WHY ARE THE ADULTS DOING THESE THINGS FOR THE KIDS?

little kids, fine.

but teenagers should be able to set up chairs and stuff the evening before! instead it's all these moms out there doing it for their spoiled teens.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Sports is his weakness due to his low muscle tone. Swimming is not his only exercise, and he also does summer kayaking, spring/fall soccer, spring/fall/winter basketball and full year indoor rock climbing. He is the type that enjoys taking lessons in group and he never practices for a second outside of his lesson time. He just takes any sports for fun. All of his free time are screentime, boardgame, chess or reading. His academic is all As on report card, and he also never spends a minute to study. His life is just playing and having fun. I feel like working hard is so tough to him, and I worry what he will become because he does not like to take challenges or working hard.

If your kid reads independently that is becoming a competitive advantage.

Sports are not the only way to develop discipline.

I liked to swim but hated lessons so I quit even those.

Why don't you have him start an instrument and just let him swim for fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god, have you seen parent swim team culture? It is the worst. Lots of SAHMs with too much time on their hands inventing "necessary" volunteer tasks like making dumbass gift bags and pressuring other moms to volunteer. You have to set out chairs, time races, etc. if he does not want to do it, let it go. Plus at ten, most of the kids will have been doing it a couple years and he might be the odd guy out.

Sign him up for more lessons, though. Give him the option between group or private. He needs to be able to swim better than that.

What? It’s always been an all volunteer thing and you have to do your part. It’s not just sahp. This kid cannot swim so it’s silly.

do your part? timing races, sure. putting together stupid gift bags and organizing overly elaborate "banquets"? no. not necessary.

You lumped in setting out chairs and timing with making the gift bags. Do what you feel adds value, say no to what you think doesn’t add value and stop complaining.

So the problem is that the sahms that create make work then like to complain that THEY have volunteered X hours so everyone else should work X hours. But if we just cut down the stupid make-work, we would all have to volunteer fewer hours.

I'm guessing you are the SAHM that likes to gossip about the moms who "don't do enough" as you tie little bows around some gift bag crap.

Love posters who think they know all about other posters. Are you psychic?

And your animus against SAHMs is really out if date.

Let me explain in small words.

I am happy to volunteer my time so my kids can have a fun, well-run meet. I do what I feel adds value - timing, S&T, starter. I say no to things I don’t think add value or I don’t like to do. I don’t complain about volunteering. I don’t listen to the whiny parents who complain that they have to volunteer but expect meets to somehow just magically happen.

Right, so you agree that you have to spend time volunteering for swim team yourself. Most women who has jobs outside the home think all that volunteering is a PITA to fit into their already busy lives and OP should factor that in to whether she wants her son to do swim team. We stopped. It was too much BS volunteering and gossip from the other cliquey SAHMs about how much all the busier moms sucked. No thanks.

It’s the gift bag lady posting again?

Lady, I think you have spent more time posting about this than it takes to volunteer for summer swim.

Aside from swimming under water, propelling yourself off the bottom of the pool or by using the lane line, it's not difficult to swim a legal freestyle. He could swim backstroke and be legal.
Still, I wouldn't push him if he absolutely does not want to join the swim team or do practices. Maybe he could try it and decide he actually likes it with the social aspects, but I wouldn't force it.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Sports is his weakness due to his low muscle tone. Swimming is not his only exercise, and he also does summer kayaking, spring/fall soccer, spring/fall/winter basketball and full year indoor rock climbing. He is the type that enjoys taking lessons in group and he never practices for a second outside of his lesson time. He just takes any sports for fun. All of his free time are screentime, boardgame, chess or reading. His academic is all As on report card, and he also never spends a minute to study. His life is just playing and having fun. I feel like working hard is so tough to him, and I worry what he will become because he does not like to take challenges or working hard.

He is a CHILD. Children are supposed to play and have fun. He does well in school, plays sports and has hobbies. As he grows, school will get harder and he will need to work and study to learn.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Sports is his weakness due to his low muscle tone. Swimming is not his only exercise, and he also does summer kayaking, spring/fall soccer, spring/fall/winter basketball and full year indoor rock climbing. He is the type that enjoys taking lessons in group and he never practices for a second outside of his lesson time. He just takes any sports for fun. All of his free time are screentime, boardgame, chess or reading. His academic is all As on report card, and he also never spends a minute to study. His life is just playing and having fun. I feel like working hard is so tough to him, and I worry what he will become because he does not like to take challenges or working hard.

At 10 he needs to learn how to practice something and work on something and that just for fun is great but it takes work to succeed and see results. It can be sports, music, schoolwork etc. Working hard and figuring stuff out is tough for all kids and they need to be cajoled and convinced and shown that it has results and hope that eventually they build self motivation. My kid is NOT a great swimmer by any means. Last year at 8 was her first year on the real summer team. She worked hard every practice, in the cold water with awesome 16-17 year old coaches who really cheered her on. She dropped 20 seconds through the season off her freestyle (now 5th to last instead of last in her age). And every meet she was in she did a little better than the time before and got a huge cheers from the coaches. It was an amazing boost and to show her that she can do something if she works at it. She will be one of the slowest kids this year in 9-10s and she knows it but is super excited to be on the team again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god, have you seen parent swim team culture? It is the worst. Lots of SAHMs with too much time on their hands inventing "necessary" volunteer tasks like making dumbass gift bags and pressuring other moms to volunteer. You have to set out chairs, time races, etc. if he does not want to do it, let it go. Plus at ten, most of the kids will have been doing it a couple years and he might be the odd guy out.

Sign him up for more lessons, though. Give him the option between group or private. He needs to be able to swim better than that.

What? It’s always been an all volunteer thing and you have to do your part. It’s not just sahp. This kid cannot swim so it’s silly.

do your part? timing races, sure. putting together stupid gift bags and organizing overly elaborate "banquets"? no. not necessary.

You lumped in setting out chairs and timing with making the gift bags. Do what you feel adds value, say no to what you think doesn’t add value and stop complaining.

So the problem is that the sahms that create make work then like to complain that THEY have volunteered X hours so everyone else should work X hours. But if we just cut down the stupid make-work, we would all have to volunteer fewer hours.

I'm guessing you are the SAHM that likes to gossip about the moms who "don't do enough" as you tie little bows around some gift bag crap.

Love posters who think they know all about other posters. Are you psychic?

And your animus against SAHMs is really out if date.

Let me explain in small words.

I am happy to volunteer my time so my kids can have a fun, well-run meet. I do what I feel adds value - timing, S&T, starter. I say no to things I don’t think add value or I don’t like to do. I don’t complain about volunteering. I don’t listen to the whiny parents who complain that they have to volunteer but expect meets to somehow just magically happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god, have you seen parent swim team culture? It is the worst. Lots of SAHMs with too much time on their hands inventing "necessary" volunteer tasks like making dumbass gift bags and pressuring other moms to volunteer. You have to set out chairs, time races, etc. if he does not want to do it, let it go. Plus at ten, most of the kids will have been doing it a couple years and he might be the odd guy out.

Sign him up for more lessons, though. Give him the option between group or private. He needs to be able to swim better than that.

What? It’s always been an all volunteer thing and you have to do your part. It’s not just sahp. This kid cannot swim so it’s silly.

do your part? timing races, sure. putting together stupid gift bags and organizing overly elaborate "banquets"? no. not necessary.

You lumped in setting out chairs and timing with making the gift bags. Do what you feel adds value, say no to what you think doesn’t add value and stop complaining.

So the problem is that the sahms that create make work then like to complain that THEY have volunteered X hours so everyone else should work X hours. But if we just cut down the stupid make-work, we would all have to volunteer fewer hours.

I'm guessing you are the SAHM that likes to gossip about the moms who "don't do enough" as you tie little bows around some gift bag crap.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Sports is his weakness due to his low muscle tone. Swimming is not his only exercise, and he also does summer kayaking, spring/fall soccer, spring/fall/winter basketball and full year indoor rock climbing. He is the type that enjoys taking lessons in group and he never practices for a second outside of his lesson time. He just takes any sports for fun. All of his free time are screentime, boardgame, chess or reading. His academic is all As on report card, and he also never spends a minute to study. His life is just playing and having fun. I feel like working hard is so tough to him, and I worry what he will become because he does not like to take challenges or working hard.

Maybe an instrument taught at a high level? My daughter is gifted and I realized early on that she needed one activity that would be a constant challenge, so I started her in violin lessons at a young age, and she takes lessons with a very demanding teacher. The rest of her life is spent having fun, even now as a high schooler taking advanced courses, because everything comes easy. The violin is essentially an activity that teaches her to strive and to accept failure gracefully, because sometimes she doesn't get the concertmaster position, or doesn't win a competition.

It doesn't need to be swim team.

OP, do not force him to do this. He can be active in other ways. Take away the screens and go for a hike.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god, have you seen parent swim team culture? It is the worst. Lots of SAHMs with too much time on their hands inventing "necessary" volunteer tasks like making dumbass gift bags and pressuring other moms to volunteer. You have to set out chairs, time races, etc. if he does not want to do it, let it go. Plus at ten, most of the kids will have been doing it a couple years and he might be the odd guy out.

Sign him up for more lessons, though. Give him the option between group or private. He needs to be able to swim better than that.

What? It’s always been an all volunteer thing and you have to do your part. It’s not just sahp. This kid cannot swim so it’s silly.

do your part? timing races, sure. putting together stupid gift bags and organizing overly elaborate "banquets"? no. not necessary.

You lumped in setting out chairs and timing with making the gift bags. Do what you feel adds value, say no to what you think doesn’t add value and stop complaining.

No why in the world would you force him?

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Sports is his weakness due to his low muscle tone. Swimming is not his only exercise, and he also does summer kayaking, spring/fall soccer, spring/fall/winter basketball and full year indoor rock climbing. He is the type that enjoys taking lessons in group and he never practices for a second outside of his lesson time. He just takes any sports for fun. All of his free time are screentime, boardgame, chess or reading. His academic is all As on report card, and he also never spends a minute to study. His life is just playing and having fun. I feel like working hard is so tough to him, and I worry what he will become because he does not like to take challenges or working hard.

Stick with a few time a week lessons.