Anonymous
Post 05/24/2025 09:49     Subject: Three private school rejections
OP’s son has social deficits. Quote: “ DS struggles figuring out some social norms”, yet the OP applied to schools well known to not provide social support.
Did your advisor recommend any schools that can support your son in his areas of struggle?
Have you researched Templeton, Sycamore, Newton, or Parkmont?
Send your kid to a school that will be proud of having him! A school that only tolerates students on the spectrum as long as they don’t act or look autistic is not a good fit.
Start by getting a new advisor, OP!
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2025 08:38     Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our kid doesn’t mask his behaviors and this has nothing to do with our friends. We are very proud of our DS. Please. There’s no need to be rude or make insensitive comments.

We have approached schools openly about our kids diagnosis. DS doesn’t need academic supports (now) but DS struggles figuring out some social norms. DS has an IEP and the only reason we were worried about Deal was the size of the school but the feedback I’m hearing is encouraging.

If other families thinking about private for their high functioning kids are reading this, I would concur with previous comments that these schools don’t have the resources or desire to support kids with minor quirky behaviors, even if they are gifted, on grade level or above, and have strong teacher recommendations. We’ve learned this the hard way despite working with a consultant and being transparent with schools during open houses.


+1 private schools definitely do not have the resources. Whether or not they have the desire is moot. McLean is a perfect example of a school that understands just how many resources can be needed for one diagnosis and is open about not being able to support others. Another poster sent a child to Field and later regretted it. This outcome is arguably worse for all than Field being realistic about its ability to support a student.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2025 08:31     Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our kid doesn’t mask his behaviors and this has nothing to do with our friends. We are very proud of our DS. Please. There’s no need to be rude or make insensitive comments.

We have approached schools openly about our kids diagnosis. DS doesn’t need academic supports (now) but DS struggles figuring out some social norms. DS has an IEP and the only reason we were worried about Deal was the size of the school but the feedback I’m hearing is encouraging.

If other families thinking about private for their high functioning kids are reading this, I would concur with previous comments that these schools don’t have the resources or desire to support kids with minor quirky behaviors, even if they are gifted, on grade level or above, and have strong teacher recommendations. We’ve learned this the hard way despite working with a consultant and being transparent with schools during open houses.



You write that the ASD diagnosis is the culprit. I am inviting you to check your biases. What is the culprit is ableism. Both yours and some of the schools you are trying to squeeze your kid into. You need to work on a accepting your kids diagnosis


OP has accepted the child's diagnosis just fine. That is not what OP is saying. Private schools accepting ASD diagnosis is a different matter. Ableism is legal and common in private schools, and OP is just working with the reality.


Yes, thank you. We are just looking for the best possible education and environment for our kid and discovering the reality of private schools. Our kid was diagnosed 8 years ago and we have accepted his diagnosis and are proud of him.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2025 08:09     Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our kid doesn’t mask his behaviors and this has nothing to do with our friends. We are very proud of our DS. Please. There’s no need to be rude or make insensitive comments.

We have approached schools openly about our kids diagnosis. DS doesn’t need academic supports (now) but DS struggles figuring out some social norms. DS has an IEP and the only reason we were worried about Deal was the size of the school but the feedback I’m hearing is encouraging.

If other families thinking about private for their high functioning kids are reading this, I would concur with previous comments that these schools don’t have the resources or desire to support kids with minor quirky behaviors, even if they are gifted, on grade level or above, and have strong teacher recommendations. We’ve learned this the hard way despite working with a consultant and being transparent with schools during open houses.



You write that the ASD diagnosis is the culprit. I am inviting you to check your biases. What is the culprit is ableism. Both yours and some of the schools you are trying to squeeze your kid into. You need to work on a accepting your kids diagnosis


OP has accepted the child's diagnosis just fine. That is not what OP is saying. Private schools accepting ASD diagnosis is a different matter. Ableism is legal and common in private schools, and OP is just working with the reality.
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2025 07:35     Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our kid doesn’t mask his behaviors and this has nothing to do with our friends. We are very proud of our DS. Please. There’s no need to be rude or make insensitive comments.

We have approached schools openly about our kids diagnosis. DS doesn’t need academic supports (now) but DS struggles figuring out some social norms. DS has an IEP and the only reason we were worried about Deal was the size of the school but the feedback I’m hearing is encouraging.

If other families thinking about private for their high functioning kids are reading this, I would concur with previous comments that these schools don’t have the resources or desire to support kids with minor quirky behaviors, even if they are gifted, on grade level or above, and have strong teacher recommendations. We’ve learned this the hard way despite working with a consultant and being transparent with schools during open houses.



You write that the ASD diagnosis is the culprit. I am inviting you to check your biases. What is the culprit is ableism. Both yours and some of the schools you are trying to squeeze your kid into. You need to work on a accepting your kids diagnosis
Anonymous
Post 05/24/2025 06:47     Subject: Three private school rejections
OP here. Our kid doesn’t mask his behaviors and this has nothing to do with our friends. We are very proud of our DS. Please. There’s no need to be rude or make insensitive comments.

We have approached schools openly about our kids diagnosis. DS doesn’t need academic supports (now) but DS struggles figuring out some social norms. DS has an IEP and the only reason we were worried about Deal was the size of the school but the feedback I’m hearing is encouraging.

If other families thinking about private for their high functioning kids are reading this, I would concur with previous comments that these schools don’t have the resources or desire to support kids with minor quirky behaviors, even if they are gifted, on grade level or above, and have strong teacher recommendations. We’ve learned this the hard way despite working with a consultant and being transparent with schools during open houses.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2025 23:27     Subject: Three private school rejections
Most private schools will expect your ASD kid to have zero disruptive behaviors. The minute the “quirky” behaviors become too disruptive they won’t hesitate to counsel out.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2025 23:25     Subject: Re:Three private school rejections
Ok I may be the outlier here, but I parent a neurodivergent kid who did fantastic at Deal. And another who is ASD & dyslexia at a private.

But I think Deal is great for kids who are on grade level. And I know a ton of families with IEPs there who also had great experiences. Deal is so big there are lots of kids who will have similar profiles to your son. So many clubs. So many activities. So many kids lacking any social skills.

If my private school 4th grader wasn’t so far behind academically I’d definitely send them to Deal. They would find their people.

Anonymous
Post 05/23/2025 23:19     Subject: Three private school rejections
You probably will not get help in mcps
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2025 23:16     Subject: Re:Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:With an ASD diagnosis, you are stuck with public school. Even if you got rid of the IEP, there would still be the diagnosis.
Is it possible to get another eval that removes the diagnosis?


OP here. This is exactly how we feel. That the diagnosis is the culprit. I


Seriously,OP?
You are the one to blame!
You are not setting your child up to success by making him attend a school that doesn’t welcome children on the spectrum.
Poor child being forced to mask his autism every day at school so you can tell your friends that he is mainstreamed!
No wonder so many children with ASD develop high anxiety.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2025 23:06     Subject: Re:Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:With an ASD diagnosis, you are stuck with public school. Even if you got rid of the IEP, there would still be the diagnosis.
Is it possible to get another eval that removes the diagnosis?


OP here. This is exactly how we feel. That the diagnosis is the culprit. I


Either your kid is autistic or not OP. I’m not getting how they are so autistic that Deal with an IEP is a no-go, but so not autistic that a mainstream private is a fit?
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2025 23:04     Subject: Re:Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, I wouldn’t disclose the ASD to the independent schools until a while after DC started. They won't notice during the interview process.

I work at an independent school that says it can't accommodate kids with ASD but in reality, we have so many kids who are neurodivergent. Many have never been diagnosed. Your kid will would be completely fine. You just need to get through the door right now.


If a kid is actually on the spectrum then yes, it will be apparent to the school during the interview process.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2025 22:50     Subject: Re:Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:With an ASD diagnosis, you are stuck with public school. Even if you got rid of the IEP, there would still be the diagnosis.
Is it possible to get another eval that removes the diagnosis?


OP here. This is exactly how we feel. That the diagnosis is the culprit. I



Seriously, why would you want to out your kid in an environment where he’s not welcome? Ditch the private schools
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2025 21:14     Subject: Three private school rejections
I will get flamed for this but would consider SSFS (Sandy Springs). The teachers in middle school are wonderful and supportive. They are able to accelerate math. The school has had a crazy stressful spring - check the thread - but looks to have stabilized and the community is super engaged now. And I think your kid will get in.

Buses that pick up in NW DC close in MD.
Anonymous
Post 05/23/2025 21:06     Subject: Three private school rejections
Seriously, call Templeton Academy on Tuesday and arrange to go for a visit before the school year ends, and see what you think. It’s a real option for your kid.