Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on how much care you have in mind. For them to give parent-level care to additional elders beyond their actual parents could be a really significant commitment of time and money. If you just mean social visits and light admin, fine. But I think many ACOD are pretty burnt out on accommodating divorce(s) and remarriage(s) for all the years they already have done so. By the time eldercare starts, and after dealing with their own parents don't have much left to give. I might feel differently if one of their actual parents didn't need much care.

+1 i feel this way, i am sorry to admit. and, my late dad's wife has her own son. after my dad passed, we all immediately reverted to original bio families, which i didn't expect at all tbh.

No, but my stepdad left right before my mom died and I was still a kid.

My aunt who adopted me and took me in after all I can't care for on a daily basis either. I will go visit and help with planning, but that is it. She was not a kind parent, not involved, and makes no effort with her 'grandkids' (my kids she doesn't have her own bio children). I don't remember huge chunks of my childhood because I blocked it out. She knows this and is set up for an assisted living facility in the next few years. I really tried to have a relationship with her especially when I had kids, but there is no reciprocation.

It depends on the relationship, but also what happens later in life. If you are busy with work, sick parents, elderly in-laws there is just so much time in the day. We all need to plan for elder care that will just go up in cost as people live longer.

I will with my stepdad. He clearly regards me as his daughter. My stepmom who has always been self-focused will be on her own. The relationship dictates the outcome.

Anonymous wrote:I have young kids and a serious partner who never had any kids of his own, so he treats mine as his. Just curious for those who were close to their stepparent if they care for them in their old age.

No.

Depends on relationship. If they raised you lovingly from a young age vs. recent late life marriage to parent.

Anonymous wrote:I have young kids and a serious partner who never had any kids of his own, so he treats mine as his. Just curious for those who were close to their stepparent if they care for them in their old age.

We do, we all visit, take out for meals, include in family events, call for a chat, attend important MD appts, check in on, etc etc. late 70s, our Mom died 6 years ago. He walked me down the aisle when I married (my father had died). He is a good guy.