Anonymous wrote:I’m finding myself in a strange predicament. Too much alone time, but still needing to be available. My 16yo has an evening job but no driver’s license just yet, and my 14yo stays pretty busy with friends. My husband occasionally works late. On days those things all align, I find myself quite lonely. At first it was novel and exciting! But lately I find myself bored. The thing is, I have to be available for rides; often my 16yo will get out of work early, or my 14 needs picking up. I feel like I’m just waiting around the house to jump into chauffeur mode.

Is there a happy medium?

Find you a hobby or exercise. Get out and be more independent.

I feet you, OP! I work part time (20 hours/week) and now that the kids are 15 and 17 I realize I have too much time on my hands. I'm looking for additional work or new work entirely, but it's not a great time to job hunt. Trying to figure out other meaningful ways to occupy myself. Good luck to all!

Anonymous wrote:First and foremost, the 16-year-old needs to get his drivers license. Second, the 14-year-old needs a bike and long distance practice to get home from friends' houses.

Stupid, unhelpful post.

This is so bizarre to me. You're bored by yourself? You can't figure out how to entertain yourself? Read a book. Watch a movie. Have a friend over for coffee. Call a friend and talk on the phone. Workout. Go for a swim. Etc.

I hear you OP. It’s weird to go from everyone wanting/needing your company to an empty house. And the constant disruption / short burst of free time/inability to plan everything ahead to be productive is frustrating.

I’ve mostly been using the time to do more work but I need to stop that. Often I’ll exercise (basement gym) but I’m often frustrated bc workouts are cut short or I feel like I need to squeeze things in. I’ve been taking the dog on short walks, calling friends and relatives, and prepping food. In the winter I have a puzzle going and listen to podcasts which is super relaxing. DC just became eligible for their learners permit and we got it right away but it’s still 9 months before they can drive.

You’re in the MUber stage (Dads are DooBers). Teens are old enough to do be doing a lot but can’t quite get themselves there. 16YO needs to be in that awkward 3 month phase waiting for their full DL to finalize (if in VA).

But you’ve gotten some good suggestions here and don’t be afraid to make them wait for you, especially if they haven’t asked or it’s a schedule change.

There are moments I wish for those days again, when I was the “drive buddy” when they had their learner’s. While hectic, and I sat in a lot of parking lots, those 20-30 mins of just “us” were golden. Now that both drive and/or off to college……the loneliness does occasionally seep in. The pickleball courts, with lots of pickup games, have been my saving grace.

Hang in there!

You have my sympathy, OP! I went through that and did a lot of these things... caught up on all my shows and reading list, organized various nooks and crannies around the house, cleaned things that hadn't gotten cleaned for a while... or ever...

And now, with an empty nest looming, I have no idea what to do with myself. So this might be a good time to dip a toe into that planning!

Anonymous wrote:Exercise, read, organize something, take an online class, go out for a walk, take an in-person class, etc.

You can find SO MUCH to do! Your kids seem old enough to wait a bit if you tell them, "I'll be at yoga until 7:15 and can pick you up after that if needed."

This. Not every night, but find something that you like: pilates, yoga, book club, happy hour, weight lifting, whatever. "Tuesdays Mom is busy 6:30-7:30, I can pick you up when I'm done."