I'm not local to you OP, but I would suggest an indoor arcade type place (dave n busters or wherever). Buy a bunch of tokens (or game cards, whatever the system is) and get them all lunch. You don't have to book a formal 'party'. Maybe go for ice cream or donuts after.

Top golf is another idea. My 10 yo, who is dx asd, went to a family event at one and she liked it. They have food, also.

Perhaps a sporting event (a game of some sort) where you live?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d spend the summer making more friends.

Do you even have an autistic child? If only it was that easy.

Right? Spend the summer being less autistic!

OP - One idea for the future is that DS could try bowling with your other child(ren) this summer as AMF offers a bowling pass at $40 per person starting May 13 - Sept 1 letting you bowl 2 games a day plus shoe rental. It includes the rental and any time except Saturday nights.
This might be a time to try this activity as as family, too, at a reasonable price. Then to maybe ask one child to come one- one one using one of your passes.

I know it is always easy to find teen girls to sit, but if you could put your feelers out to find an older teen boy who might be a good role model to spend time one-on-one doing things DS likes. Then also introducing him to say shooting baskets, basic soccer skills, or even art or cooking. It might help him to just "fit in" as middle school approaches on age appropriate activities just with other kids.

It would take a somewhat mature teen, but advertized as an Activity Partner, you might find one as a first job that could give the other teen a leg up with a reference and perhaps help your DS related more naturally with his peers.

I think you need to reach out to the parents of those 1-3 other kids your kid likes early on (4-6 weeks in advance of when you want to have this party) and explain what you’re planning and ask if there’s a date/time that works for their kid to come. Since there would only be a few guests, you want to make sure you pick a time that works for them all and that they understand it’s a very small party bc I think they’re more likely to actually come if they know this.

Then pick an activity your kid likes (movies, arcade, sporting event, amusement park, trampoline park, art studio, whatever) and take the kids to that. Personally my choice would be movies bc it’s the easiest—you don’t really have to supervise, there’s no set up or clean up or keeping track of where they are, and they don’t have to talk/interact if that’s hard for them.

Anonymous wrote:I would coordinate with two other parents (or more), explain your situation, and work it out so you have confirmation that those other kids can attend.

Yeah, this is what I was thinking.

And also I would LOVE for him to make more friends and I have been trying to help him do this for years. It's not that simple.

I took my son and two friends to D&B. Spent a ton much like the PP. I made sure to tell the moms how small the party was to avoid flaking.
He had a wonderful time and said it was the best birthday ever.

I would coordinate with two other parents (or more), explain your situation, and work it out so you have confirmation that those other kids can attend.

Top golf? Escape room? Laser tag? Climb zone?

In 4th grade we invited the whole school to his party. They all came.

In 6th grade he had 4 kids and we went to a Dace and Buster type place. I ended up spending about $800 in tokens and it was worth it. Those kind of places they can play solo games or games together and talk only about the games which made it easy for them.

Anonymous wrote:I’d spend the summer making more friends.

Do you even have an autistic child? If only it was that easy.

Does he want to have a party? Please don't do this unless he wants to. It's not "equal" to have parties for both your kids if only one wants them!

If he does want to celebrate his birthday with friends, ask him what he wants to do. Inviting them over for video games and cake might be more successful.

Anonymous wrote:What about an experience such as taking those 2-3 kids to the movies, a baseball game, a bounce house, mini golf, etc?

exactly. we took my DC and 3 other kids to the movies and for dessert after. easy-peasy.

Are there any places that have EA gaming leagues in your area? DS attended one of these parties in 4th grade. They played car racing video games and some other age appropriate ones and then had pizza and cake. It was the perfect kind of party for a small amount of kids and for kids who weren't all super friendly with each other.

Will bowling be a good activity? The pins can be quite loud.