Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 22:45     Subject: Re:Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’ve requested developmental pediatrics referral, specialist referalls, I have asked about autism, I was told things like not all children are “athletically inclined” and that clumsiness didn’t qualify, “sometimes it just takes time to figure out how he learns”. But I continue every year to see what I can determine from the school and medical side. It’s just finally I hav the school willing to do an IEP evaluation and now I cant seem to get a pediatrician on board for further evaluation. Neuropsychologist aren’t covered by our insurance.

I just feel like I’m out of options in a way.

For the pool situation, it is something I really don’t know if he had ever tried on his own before. I know instructors have always helped with getting up onto side when you jump in from seated positioning. Then I am hit with the realization again, if what is he capable of vs. what do we just hop in and help him with and does that mean he hasn’t learned it properly.

Milestones were not a problem, and a lot of the verbal side wasn’t that he didn’t have the words for what he wanted to say, it was doctors who would say it’s a timid, shy, kid, common response path. He will talk and does talk when he wants to. Many responses of how they see children every day and this was all within the range of nothing concerning .

I also struggle if maybe I’m looking too deeply and this is all a part of development.


We pay for therapies for our child that insurance doesn’t cover. What would happen if you counted up all the money you and your spouse spent on yourselves in a year? Last year, I cut my monthly discretionary expenditures to about $50, plus I found myself cheap/free Christmas and birthday presents. (If you look all year, you can find a new enough book at a few little library.) I didn’t buy brand new clothing, I cut my own hair, and we rarely ate out. DH also saved money from his budget. We’re in a fortunate position where we raised about $2,500 in a year from those kinds of drastic cuts. I’ve paid the price for sure, but my kid needs the help. That’s the only way we could pay for it because we’re also paying for other therapies.

The other thing to remember is that drastic cuts can be for just a season. I’m going for my first haircut in ages this week, I bought a new shirt this month, and we ate out for Mother’s Day. All this to say, don’t automatically rule out a neuropsych because insurance won’t pay for it. You might decide that you’re budget has more wiggle room than you’d thought.


Dp. A neuropysch runs about 5k and it isn't even clear that this would be helpful for OP (speaking as a parent whose child has undergone one within the last year).

OP, the poster saying this is not a ped issue is right but the ped may be better able to guide you to the appropriate next steps.

I know you said the ped didn't take you seriously before, but I wonder how that conversation went. It's so easy to forget details during a short checkup. Were you able to go into as much detail with your ped as you have here?

Seeing an OT sounds like a good step, but I would worry that an OT could find issues that do need to be worked on, while missing other potential medical problems.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 21:48     Subject: Re:Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
I hope you get the answers you’re looking for OP. Apologies if this comes off as condescending, but regardless of the diagnosis he receives (or even if he receives no diagnosis at all) remember that therapy and meds only go so far. Both parents need to spend a lot of hands-on time to provide gentle scaffolding for daily tasks, and to prioritize exercise, nutrition, and sleep. If that means reducing structured activities, so be it. It’s more important to get the basics down pat.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 21:41     Subject: Re:Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I’ve requested developmental pediatrics referral, specialist referalls, I have asked about autism, I was told things like not all children are “athletically inclined” and that clumsiness didn’t qualify, “sometimes it just takes time to figure out how he learns”. But I continue every year to see what I can determine from the school and medical side. It’s just finally I hav the school willing to do an IEP evaluation and now I cant seem to get a pediatrician on board for further evaluation. Neuropsychologist aren’t covered by our insurance.

I just feel like I’m out of options in a way.

For the pool situation, it is something I really don’t know if he had ever tried on his own before. I know instructors have always helped with getting up onto side when you jump in from seated positioning. Then I am hit with the realization again, if what is he capable of vs. what do we just hop in and help him with and does that mean he hasn’t learned it properly.

Milestones were not a problem, and a lot of the verbal side wasn’t that he didn’t have the words for what he wanted to say, it was doctors who would say it’s a timid, shy, kid, common response path. He will talk and does talk when he wants to. Many responses of how they see children every day and this was all within the range of nothing concerning .

I also struggle if maybe I’m looking too deeply and this is all a part of development.


We pay for therapies for our child that insurance doesn’t cover. What would happen if you counted up all the money you and your spouse spent on yourselves in a year? Last year, I cut my monthly discretionary expenditures to about $50, plus I found myself cheap/free Christmas and birthday presents. (If you look all year, you can find a new enough book at a few little library.) I didn’t buy brand new clothing, I cut my own hair, and we rarely ate out. DH also saved money from his budget. We’re in a fortunate position where we raised about $2,500 in a year from those kinds of drastic cuts. I’ve paid the price for sure, but my kid needs the help. That’s the only way we could pay for it because we’re also paying for other therapies.

The other thing to remember is that drastic cuts can be for just a season. I’m going for my first haircut in ages this week, I bought a new shirt this month, and we ate out for Mother’s Day. All this to say, don’t automatically rule out a neuropsych because insurance won’t pay for it. You might decide that you’re budget has more wiggle room than you’d thought.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 21:23     Subject: Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
They're great and affordable- https://www.thereservoirgroup.org/

Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 20:29     Subject: Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Anonymous wrote:Definitely developmental coordination disorder. Probably a lot of anxiety and adhd and or autism. My child had this and we worked on these skills from age 2 to 12 and he was able to be coordinated at least to a rec level in all sports and movement. Its a long road and it gets worse as they get older because the difference in abilities starts to widen. I would push for an IEP and use the summer to work on fine and gross motor skills. There used to be a good indoor place in White Flint for gross motor skills and there are some good OTs in this area as well.


Fitness for Health is what you are thinking of. Really great place.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 19:43     Subject: Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
I think you should get him fully tested.
I also think in addition you should designate this summer as the summer of independence.
Research what 11 year olds should be able to do. Or give him some grace and look at average 9-10 year olds.
Show him how to do something then step back and let him try, even if it takes time.
At 11 my DD had to be in charge of dinner once a week. Could be basic but she had to think about it and make it. Boxed Mac n cheese with raw veggies was what we had a couple of times and that’s fine.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 19:37     Subject: Re:Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Pediatricians will not be helpful here. I would get an excellent private OT assessment (even if you can’t afford to continue with them) while you wait for other testing.

All of this reads like motor planning, non verbal learning, low tone, sequencing, etc—which is suited toward an OT.

Also curious how things went with bike riding , drawing , hand dominance , etc.


We are still working at bike riding, he has taken an interest to pc/computers, can work a handheld game console part (the one you hold onto), struggles with tying pants and laces.


This explains a lot- too much screen time.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 19:35     Subject: Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Definitely developmental coordination disorder. Probably a lot of anxiety and adhd and or autism. My child had this and we worked on these skills from age 2 to 12 and he was able to be coordinated at least to a rec level in all sports and movement. Its a long road and it gets worse as they get older because the difference in abilities starts to widen. I would push for an IEP and use the summer to work on fine and gross motor skills. There used to be a good indoor place in White Flint for gross motor skills and there are some good OTs in this area as well.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 19:26     Subject: Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Anonymous wrote:I agree with the above. I would try an OT evaluation first and then go to the full neurophysiological exam if needed.


this.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 19:20     Subject: Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Does he must stop like he’s frozen or asleep? Is it possibly be a seizure?
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 18:30     Subject: Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Agree with others - pediatrician and IEP meeting will not get you there. You need some global testing - OT testing and then likely a neuropsych given the age. They are looking into things that us laymen cannot see. It's really worth it.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 16:30     Subject: Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Op again. Hand dominance took a while, and grips for pens and pencils but other things like the game console he took to on the first try and was able to use the parts well.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 16:29     Subject: Re:Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Anonymous wrote:Pediatricians will not be helpful here. I would get an excellent private OT assessment (even if you can’t afford to continue with them) while you wait for other testing.

All of this reads like motor planning, non verbal learning, low tone, sequencing, etc—which is suited toward an OT.

Also curious how things went with bike riding , drawing , hand dominance , etc.


We are still working at bike riding, he has taken an interest to pc/computers, can work a handheld game console part (the one you hold onto), struggles with tying pants and laces.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 15:00     Subject: Re:Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
Pediatricians will not be helpful here. I would get an excellent private OT assessment (even if you can’t afford to continue with them) while you wait for other testing.

All of this reads like motor planning, non verbal learning, low tone, sequencing, etc—which is suited toward an OT.

Also curious how things went with bike riding , drawing , hand dominance , etc.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 14:37     Subject: Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?
If you don’t think you can spring for a neuropsychologist and evaluation. I would look into an evaluation with a SLP for a processing disorder and an OT to see about weaknesses with motor tasks. I woukd do this with urgency.