Anonymous wrote:It all depends on the facility. My mom is in a CCC facility where IL and AL are commingled and the same activities are offered to both. The challenge is that no one will force them to attend the activities. The activities range from arts and crafts, bingo, outings to restaurants, board games, “salon” days, exercise class, puzzles, sing alongs, and each night they show a movie. Residents have the option of dining in the restaurant of having their meal(s) delivered to their rooms for a few. There are definitely cliques like high school, but mostly based on mental and physical acuity.
Anonymous wrote:The best assisted living facility won't be more fun than country club or hotel or, heck, a cruise ship. Does anybody enjoy living only at one of those? Some people, but if you want an interesting life, you have to get out of the home sometimes.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Agree to get a hold of the calendar for activities. Unfortunately there is a pretty steep drop in abilities from independent living to assisted. The commercials showing old people doing fun social events is based on independent living. Assisted is more like nursing homes with residents confined to beds or wheelchairs. An option could be an independent living and then you pay for additional care, but that's going to get pricey and may not be a viable option for long.
This (bolded) is exactly correct.
I'm sorry, OP, this is a sad but common story. People who skip over the independent living phase at these facilities and go straight to assisted living have a big shock, as do their families, because the activities available are not what they anticipated. Agree that you should ask the case managers and staff about what activities are available specifically for people in her care level.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We had to move my mom into an assisted living facility fairly quickly due to some extenuating circumstances. She has significant physical limitations and probably some memory/very mild dementia issues but for the most part her challenges are physical (post-stroke about 6 months, limited mobility.) She is miserable, says the activities are all passive (movie, speakers etc) and hasn't yet made any social connections. We got fortunate in the place we found for her, it seems nice enough, has won some local "best of" type awards, but I get why she is unhappy. Whenever I"m here people just seem to be sitting in their rooms watching TV (with doors open to hallway.) So my question is - is this just what assisted living looks like everywhere? Do facilities exist that have engaging activities and decently social lives for residents? She wants to move to a better place but I'm not sure if that exists for her situation. Not in DMV so just wondering in general.
No, not every place looks like that, there is huge variation. Go and visit as many as you can. Visiting in person is really the only way to get a good read on the atmosphere. Bonus points for facilities that will see you on short notice and at odd hours. Awards and reviews are one thing to check, but things change, ownership, significant staff turnover. I would not be so dismissive of your mom as some in this post. You are visiting and noticing that what she says is true. See if there is something better out there. If you can't find a better place, maybe the budget can accommodate some paid companions who will engage with her.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Her misery is most likely caused by her circumstances and grief over the loss of the life she once had. Find out more about the place where she is and see what activities you think might be a match. Every move can cause decline and it's a common story that the dutiful adult child swoops in to rescue mom with a move to a new place or even takes in mom only to find mom still remains miserable. Medication may help with the adjustment and trying to make new friends.
So what then are the alternatives? My mom is currently 'living' in her home where she wants to remain. I say 'living' as she is confined to her lift chair all day, wearing a diaper, only risking using her walker to get to her bedroom each night. She falls constantly but thankfully has not broken anything. Yet. She adamantly refuses any in-house aide assistance despite having the resources. What are the alternatives in the future?
Anonymous wrote:Agree to get a hold of the calendar for activities. Unfortunately there is a pretty steep drop in abilities from independent living to assisted. The commercials showing old people doing fun social events is based on independent living. Assisted is more like nursing homes with residents confined to beds or wheelchairs. An option could be an independent living and then you pay for additional care, but that's going to get pricey and may not be a viable option for long.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Agree to get a hold of the calendar for activities. Unfortunately there is a pretty steep drop in abilities from independent living to assisted. The commercials showing old people doing fun social events is based on independent living. Assisted is more like nursing homes with residents confined to beds or wheelchairs. An option could be an independent living and then you pay for additional care, but that's going to get pricey and may not be a viable option for long.
This (bolded) is exactly correct.
I'm sorry, OP, this is a sad but common story. People who skip over the independent living phase at these facilities and go straight to assisted living have a big shock, as do their families, because the activities available are not what they anticipated. Agree that you should ask the case managers and staff about what activities are available specifically for people in her care level.