Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 18:44     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Anonymous wrote:There’s a difference between suicidal ideation and talking about hurting yourself for attention. You should look closely at the latter.


I really disagree with the above statement. When you say, "you should look at the later," "you" means the parent -- parents are not trained to differentiate between a "real" suicide threat and a suicidal statement "made for attention". Every threat of suicide should be raised with a doctor or health professional -- they are the ones that are trained to assess such statements.

I also think that it is somewhat stigmatic to label suicide threats as "for attention" in general. People who talk about suicide, whether they ultimately intend or try to take their life, are people that are in some kind of pain and deserve help, not dismissal and judgement that they are "doing it for attention."

Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 18:40     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Anonymous wrote:Our son was on a similar track around age 11. Looking back, we didn't take it seriously enough and relied on talk therapy, school adjustments and just trying to work through it. At age 16 he landed in residential treatment and we couldn't communicate with him for a month that included Christmas. Ugh.

Eventually, he got the drugs that really helped (mostly Bupropion) and a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) at Newport Academy. It was not the teenage years we imagined but he's alive, will graduate from high school and spends time with his friends. It's a win.

Our regret was not going after his problems aggressively enough at the start.





NP. I'm so sorry you got stuck on talk therapy and no one helped you and your son progress to meds quickly. I think there is so much stigma around medication, and so many parents believe "We have to try everything before we try meds." In actuality, I think it's important parents are aware that they should sometimes think in reverse, especially when the behavior is dangerous or having a very negative impact, i.e. "meds first" or "meds quickly" may allow a kid to improve enough that they can actually take advantage of talk therapy and school adjustments, etc. Some kids need to stay on meds, but other kids may use medication for awhile until they learn to manage their feelings in other ways.

I say that because my kid went on an anti-depressant in HS. Probably, he should have been on it in MS. He went off of it in college. He had some trouble academically and feeling depressed but he was able to work through it without going back on meds (even though I encouraged him to consider it). I think parents should not be so reluctant to try medication -- and that might include trying several different kinds of medication until the right one is found.

Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 17:50     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DD did this at 9 years old too. Turned out to be ASD and anxiety

My kid has ASD and I wondered if this situation was an untreated child with ASD. Could you do a neuro-psych?

+1 on this, OP. Have none of the therapists recommended a neuro-psych? That should be a baseline.


The op says they have an assessment in June at a psych center.

Thank you! I missed that part. Good luck with the assessment, OP. It could really help.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 17:33     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
OP, just want to say that I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

Sending light to your family.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 17:17     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Anonymous wrote:There’s a difference between suicidal ideation and talking about hurting yourself for attention. You should look closely at the latter.


Op ignore this person who is not trained in mental health, clearly. 9 year olds do not do this for attention. If it is happening for “attention” it is related to complex trauma typically which doesn’t sound like your case. You got good advice in the beginning of this thread and it appears to be going off the rails I’m sorry!
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 17:16     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DD did this at 9 years old too. Turned out to be ASD and anxiety

My kid has ASD and I wondered if this situation was an untreated child with ASD. Could you do a neuro-psych?

+1 on this, OP. Have none of the therapists recommended a neuro-psych? That should be a baseline.


The op says they have an assessment in June at a psych center.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 16:25     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
My DS at 10 went through this. It was so scary and we felt so helpless. We ended up pulling him out of school to homeschool. He had skipped a grade during Covid and the social struggles had him spiraling. I’m so sorry
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 16:07     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DD did this at 9 years old too. Turned out to be ASD and anxiety

My kid has ASD and I wondered if this situation was an untreated child with ASD. Could you do a neuro-psych?

+1 on this, OP. Have none of the therapists recommended a neuro-psych? That should be a baseline.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 16:02     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Anonymous wrote:There’s a difference between suicidal ideation and talking about hurting yourself for attention. You should look closely at the latter.


Behavior is communication either way, PP. It's still not normal to threaten suicide for attention. The kid needs help either way, a therapist can figure out what type of help.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 15:58     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Anonymous wrote:DD did this at 9 years old too. Turned out to be ASD and anxiety

My kid has ASD and I wondered if this situation was an untreated child with ASD. Could you do a neuro-psych?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 15:38     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
There’s a difference between suicidal ideation and talking about hurting yourself for attention. You should look closely at the latter.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 15:14     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Our son was on a similar track around age 11. Looking back, we didn't take it seriously enough and relied on talk therapy, school adjustments and just trying to work through it. At age 16 he landed in residential treatment and we couldn't communicate with him for a month that included Christmas. Ugh.

Eventually, he got the drugs that really helped (mostly Bupropion) and a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) at Newport Academy. It was not the teenage years we imagined but he's alive, will graduate from high school and spends time with his friends. It's a win.

Our regret was not going after his problems aggressively enough at the start.



Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 15:01     Subject: suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Anonymous wrote:We are trying our best to support and get help for our 9 YO DS who has suicidal ideation. He talks about stabbing himself with a knife and wanting to die almost every day. He is sad that he has these thoughts and says that he "isn't going to kill himself right now, but he thinks he will when he gets a little older and knows how to do it." He is a model child in school- sociable, smart, respectful--- his teacher was shocked when I asked her for feedback because of what we are going through at home. He is in therapy, and knives/sharp objects are locked up. Since he knows that, he has recently been putting his hands around his neck and burying his head in pillows when he gets overwhelmed. Saying he can always choke himself. We remind him we love him and are there to keep him safe. We have a suicide safety plan that he doesn't want to look at when he is triggered and when he isn't and we discuss it, he talks about how he really doesn't want to kill himself. He actually has quite a big fear of death/dying and is very sad about his grandfather and dog, who have passed away when he was much younger.

We have comprehensive testing at a psych center coming up in June. Both DH and I are in therapy as well, since this is taking a huge toll on our whole family. Any BTDT support to help us until we get testing? It got so bad this past weekend, that we had to call a crisis line and have our son hear us reaching out for help. It is almost every other day that we go through an episode, and when all is calm, it's like we are walking on eggshells. We live in a small town where it is hard to find the right help--- no one is trained in DBT around us--- I have asked his therapist and others. What else can we do to help him-- we are such a close, loving family-- it is affecting all of us and breaking my heart.


I'm sorry. I've been dealing with this with my child for a good decade. On the plus side, she's graduating from college next week. But there have been hospitalizations along the way. It's been incredibly stressful and expensive. You sound like you're doing the right things. I wish you the best.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 15:00     Subject: Re:suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Considering** not continuing
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 14:59     Subject: Re:suicidal ideation- 9 yo DS
Op, pp here. This is the kind of treatment I’m talking about - if you’re in other states you can look for something similar. I would probably recommend a center that specializes in anxiety and offers these specific treatments. This one offers teletherapy. If you can access it in person near you that is great for kids, but since you mentioned you are in a small town I am sending this example. I think it can work at 9 through telehealth too!

https://www.ocd-dc.com/our-services

At some point in your journey also recommend learning about and continuing doing a SPACE course together as parents. You won’t regret it! It can be huge for kids with anxiety. It is just for parents and gives you the tools to support your son. It is really hard to be the parent of a child struggling with anxiety, this can be a good toolkit. Potentially for the future once you get a handle on how much of this is anxiety, sounds like it probably is!
https://www.rosscenter.com/ross_event/space-training-a-7-week-group-for-parents-of-anxious-children/

The Ross center linked above is also a great resource generally for kids and OCD, not sure if they do telehealth but would be worth a check. I didn’t link it above because it doesn’t note it though they very likely do and could also be a good fit for therapy for ERP.