Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I struggled too and wound up w a generic card that’s blank inside where I simply wrote “happy Mother’s Day. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Love, us.” don’t even know why I did that because it’s such an empty message/gesture but I think my mom expects it so I do.

I also bought a card that said all the wonderful things that hallmark writes and sent it to my best friend’s mom w a genuine, heartfelt and personal handwritten message inside telling her how important she is to me bc she was more of a mom to me growing up than my own mother was.

Too bad you had to make the second card about you.

NP. How is that making the 2nd card about her?

She couldn’t say how wonderful her friend’s mom was without bringing it back to how her own mom treated her.

I didn’t write about that in the card, though. I just wrote that here for context. And now I’m done respunding to you bc you seem like a negative, bitter person.

Ok, but that wasn't apparent by your post. Sounds like a lovely card.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I struggled too and wound up w a generic card that’s blank inside where I simply wrote “happy Mother’s Day. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Love, us.” don’t even know why I did that because it’s such an empty message/gesture but I think my mom expects it so I do.

I also bought a card that said all the wonderful things that hallmark writes and sent it to my best friend’s mom w a genuine, heartfelt and personal handwritten message inside telling her how important she is to me bc she was more of a mom to me growing up than my own mother was.

Too bad you had to make the second card about you.

How did i make it about me? I wrote in the card to my BF’s mom about what a wonderful mother she was/is, how loving and supportive and kind and selfless she is. I also told her that she was a wonderful role model to me growing up and that she’s who I look to now for inspiration in my own parenting approach. But sure it was a card all about myself.

I’d love to hear more specifics about what she did so I can try and do that for my kids

She was always there to listen, not to judge. She was very curious and interested in other people and asked others lots of questions, somehow without being intrusive, just made you feel interesting/important. She was always giving compliments and they were the genuine, specific kind that make you feel seen/noticed and appreciated. Very thoughtful: always remembering important dates and moments and making them special.

She sounds like a gem. That’s awesome that you gave her recognition and showed gratitude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I struggled too and wound up w a generic card that’s blank inside where I simply wrote “happy Mother’s Day. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Love, us.” don’t even know why I did that because it’s such an empty message/gesture but I think my mom expects it so I do.

I also bought a card that said all the wonderful things that hallmark writes and sent it to my best friend’s mom w a genuine, heartfelt and personal handwritten message inside telling her how important she is to me bc she was more of a mom to me growing up than my own mother was.

Too bad you had to make the second card about you.

How did i make it about me? I wrote in the card to my BF’s mom about what a wonderful mother she was/is, how loving and supportive and kind and selfless she is. I also told her that she was a wonderful role model to me growing up and that she’s who I look to now for inspiration in my own parenting approach. But sure it was a card all about myself.

I’d love to hear more specifics about what she did so I can try and do that for my kids

She was always there to listen, not to judge. She was very curious and interested in other people and asked others lots of questions, somehow without being intrusive, just made you feel interesting/important. She was always giving compliments and they were the genuine, specific kind that make you feel seen/noticed and appreciated. Very thoughtful: always remembering important dates and moments and making them special.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I struggled too and wound up w a generic card that’s blank inside where I simply wrote “happy Mother’s Day. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Love, us.” don’t even know why I did that because it’s such an empty message/gesture but I think my mom expects it so I do.

I also bought a card that said all the wonderful things that hallmark writes and sent it to my best friend’s mom w a genuine, heartfelt and personal handwritten message inside telling her how important she is to me bc she was more of a mom to me growing up than my own mother was.

Too bad you had to make the second card about you.

NP. How is that making the 2nd card about her?

She couldn’t say how wonderful her friend’s mom was without bringing it back to how her own mom treated her.

I didn’t write about that in the card, though. I just wrote that here for context. And now I’m done respunding to you bc you seem like a negative, bitter person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I struggled too and wound up w a generic card that’s blank inside where I simply wrote “happy Mother’s Day. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Love, us.” don’t even know why I did that because it’s such an empty message/gesture but I think my mom expects it so I do.

I also bought a card that said all the wonderful things that hallmark writes and sent it to my best friend’s mom w a genuine, heartfelt and personal handwritten message inside telling her how important she is to me bc she was more of a mom to me growing up than my own mother was.

Too bad you had to make the second card about you.

How did i make it about me? I wrote in the card to my BF’s mom about what a wonderful mother she was/is, how loving and supportive and kind and selfless she is. I also told her that she was a wonderful role model to me growing up and that she’s who I look to now for inspiration in my own parenting approach. But sure it was a card all about myself.

I’d love to hear more specifics about what she did so I can try and do that for my kids

Trader Joe's sometimes has options that just say something simple.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I struggled too and wound up w a generic card that’s blank inside where I simply wrote “happy Mother’s Day. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Love, us.” don’t even know why I did that because it’s such an empty message/gesture but I think my mom expects it so I do.

I also bought a card that said all the wonderful things that hallmark writes and sent it to my best friend’s mom w a genuine, heartfelt and personal handwritten message inside telling her how important she is to me bc she was more of a mom to me growing up than my own mother was.

Too bad you had to make the second card about you.

NP. How is that making the 2nd card about her?

She couldn’t say how wonderful her friend’s mom was without bringing it back to how her own mom treated her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I struggled too and wound up w a generic card that’s blank inside where I simply wrote “happy Mother’s Day. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Love, us.” don’t even know why I did that because it’s such an empty message/gesture but I think my mom expects it so I do.

I also bought a card that said all the wonderful things that hallmark writes and sent it to my best friend’s mom w a genuine, heartfelt and personal handwritten message inside telling her how important she is to me bc she was more of a mom to me growing up than my own mother was.

Too bad you had to make the second card about you.

How did i make it about me? I wrote in the card to my BF’s mom about what a wonderful mother she was/is, how loving and supportive and kind and selfless she is. I also told her that she was a wonderful role model to me growing up and that she’s who I look to now for inspiration in my own parenting approach. But sure it was a card all about myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I struggled too and wound up w a generic card that’s blank inside where I simply wrote “happy Mother’s Day. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Love, us.” don’t even know why I did that because it’s such an empty message/gesture but I think my mom expects it so I do.

I also bought a card that said all the wonderful things that hallmark writes and sent it to my best friend’s mom w a genuine, heartfelt and personal handwritten message inside telling her how important she is to me bc she was more of a mom to me growing up than my own mother was.

Too bad you had to make the second card about you.

NP. How is that making the 2nd card about her?

I always buy humorous ones (and maybe write something more heartfelt/personal) in it.

My recent favorite: For Mother's Day, let's celebrate with an old mother-daughter tradition. Inside: You brush my hair and I'll scream. My mom and I were in tears from laughing about this.

I buy blank for everything, except maybe a child's card. The pre printed messages are super cheesy and no one reads them anyway.

I have never bought preprinted messages for anyone, they're always so cringey, OP (with the exception of some humorous cards). I have bought pretty blank cards, or made origami cards, or hand-drawn my own cards, for various people in my life.

For your situation, I would not feel obligated to buy anything, or celebrate in any way.

Anonymous wrote:There should be cards that say,"So you gave birth." That's more fitting.

Right, because the important thing is to make sure you carry forward the legacy of hurting other people.

My mother was young (19/20) and didn't want a baby, but my much older father threatened to divorce her if she had an abortion. She was a college student, graduate student, etc until she was eventually a professor. And she had horrific untreated bipolar disease. She was beyond abusive to me. Eventually, as a young adult I separated myself from her totally. My father played a big part in her disease being untreated, and when they divorced she finally got serious treatment. It took years of work on her part, tons of therapy and experimenting with medications, but she finally reached a place of healing. We have a beautiful relationship now, one that grew slowly over time as she earned my trust and I got to know her as a healthy person. We are probably more like sisters or Aunt/niece as she did not really "mother" me. We can't undo the past, but we don't have to remain mired in it either. I'm so glad that I sought therapy for myself early on, and that I never struck out at her. I took the steps that were necessary to protect myself, but I had no desire to make her suffer.

Anonymous wrote:I agonized over that all my life until she died.
OP you are not alone.

Same here but just my adult life. I didn’t know better when I was a kid.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I struggled too and wound up w a generic card that’s blank inside where I simply wrote “happy Mother’s Day. Hope you have a lovely weekend. Love, us.” don’t even know why I did that because it’s such an empty message/gesture but I think my mom expects it so I do.

I also bought a card that said all the wonderful things that hallmark writes and sent it to my best friend’s mom w a genuine, heartfelt and personal handwritten message inside telling her how important she is to me bc she was more of a mom to me growing up than my own mother was.

That’s really sweet. I’m sure the card meant a lot to your friend’s mom.