Anonymous wrote:I think as a parent we can help adjust the kids expectations.

1. They are not necessarily being ghosted in the same sense that a friend or boyfriend ghosts you. She doesn't know these kids. They don't know her. They may not see the message or may already have a roommate or be talking to someone. Try to downplay the "Ghosting" aspect.
2. Roommate activity seems to get busiest about a week before the deadline for those names to be turned in, or whatever. Kids didn't even finally pick schools til May 1!
3. This one is important. People need to get over the glorified image of freshman year in college. You will not necessarily meet your maid of honor or your kid's godmother as your freshman year roommate. People think of this as instant friends. Sometimes, maybe. But what you are looking for is a considerate person to share a room with first and foremost.

I can go on and on with stories of roommates matched who spent al summer and a fortune picking out the perfect room and hated each other within 2 months. One even had to change rooms (it rose to a level even the school could not tolerate and that's saying a lot). She eventually got a random assigned roommate and guess what - they were considerate and kind and there were no "elephants in the room" of having to feel this pressure of being BFFs. Be careful what you wish for.

That's my two cents.

Find someone who you share the following thing with: Neat/messy, guests over/not over, tolerance to lights on at night.

That's really all you need, and coincidentally, what the algorithms at the school usually do a really good job with when people are matched randomly.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is going random, as did my son. It was not even a thought. Should she be doing the IM thing? She didn’t even consider it but she’s quite shy.

Anonymous wrote:Is this for freshman year?

Anonymous wrote:Is this for freshman year?

Anonymous wrote:A space does not have to be cohesive. They can pick a rug together but other than that…who cares? My daughter got her bedding, roommate got hers.

I do emphasize with the stress of this process for some girls. Absolutely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Roommates should be randomly assigned

Agree so much.

+1

Sucks for the kids to arrive on campus having already been ghosted by a handful of classmates. Also, I can imagine allowing kids to self select means a greater tendency towards segregated friend groups.

Anonymous wrote:Has your daughter already attended admitted students day? Mine found hers there - kept in touch with she met during one of the student socials before either had committed to the school and once they both did, they decided to be roommates. They visited once over the summer before school started to get to know each other a little better and it worked really well for them. I know luck played a huge part in that, but wanted to suggest your daughter attend any in-person social opportunities for incoming students if the time has not already passed.