Anonymous wrote:OP, you seem to think that since your wife isn’t around to do all your unpaid emotional and logistical labor, you’re just going to rely on everyone else’s wife. This is not a workable solution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:car seat
bed
bedding
clothes
dresser/hangers
desk/kid table and kid chair
booster seat
stroller
pull-ups?
books
toys
outdoor toys
plastic dishes
plug protectors, safety gates, childproofing as necessary
baby shampoo, soap, bath toys, etc.
foods he’ll eat

Why do you think he needs a stroller or plastic dishes or safety gates or baby shampoo for a 4 yr old?

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

That's a ridiculous excuse, OP. My father worked a lot because my mother was disabled, but he also cooked and cleaned, made my lunchbox, drove me to school, sewed buttons and clothing labels, and put together my IKEA furniture. All the things my mother could not do. Being checked-out is always a crime when it comes to your children.

DCUM can't help you anyway when it comes to details. Your child is very much his own person, and will need things that maybe not all 4 year olds need. You really seem not to know how to be a parent! Your child needs input on some of this stuff, he's 4, he has opinions and preferences: he's not an accessory you've suddenly decided to pluck away from your wife, just because she humiliated you. If your wife just left, making a list of stuff shouldn't be your top priority. It should be talking to her to establish some baseline of communication, as well as talking to your child to reassure him that his father is present in his life.

You're just so messed up.

Wow! DCUM seems pretty harsh tonight. I don’t know why you’re assuming that he’s not trying to reassure his child or coordinate with his wife. Moreover, rather than him suddenly deciding to pluck the child from his wife, it sounds like she suddenly decided to pluck the child from him. After being blindsided and cleaned out, he’s trying to reprovision so that he’ll be prepared to maintain a relationship with the boy. While he’ll apparently have to assume more responsibility, I think it’s unfair to treat him as someone who is a stranger to his son. I imagine coming home and finding your child and everything related to the child missing would be enough to send someone reeling. In such an emotional state, I think it’s understandable that he would be asking for input to make sure he didn’t forget anything important. Personally, on a routine trip to the grocery store, I know I’m liable to forget something, and that’s when I’m not in crisis mode and it only inconveniences me, not my traumatized child whose world has been turned upside down.

It’s not understandable. Understandable is someone who is getting handed a baby for the first time and doesn’t know what they need.

If your family were suddenly displaced, couldn’t you go to Target and provision a temporary home? You wouldn’t be on dcum like “what do I need for a 40 year old woman?”

Nobody who has been a semi-active parent needs help making this list. Even my DH, who is intentionally clueless and doesn’t buy any of this stuff, would do fine with this task. He would get the wrong sizes, but he would know the list.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

That's a ridiculous excuse, OP. My father worked a lot because my mother was disabled, but he also cooked and cleaned, made my lunchbox, drove me to school, sewed buttons and clothing labels, and put together my IKEA furniture. All the things my mother could not do. Being checked-out is always a crime when it comes to your children.

DCUM can't help you anyway when it comes to details. Your child is very much his own person, and will need things that maybe not all 4 year olds need. You really seem not to know how to be a parent! Your child needs input on some of this stuff, he's 4, he has opinions and preferences: he's not an accessory you've suddenly decided to pluck away from your wife, just because she humiliated you. If your wife just left, making a list of stuff shouldn't be your top priority. It should be talking to her to establish some baseline of communication, as well as talking to your child to reassure him that his father is present in his life.

You're just so messed up.

Wow! DCUM seems pretty harsh tonight. I don’t know why you’re assuming that he’s not trying to reassure his child or coordinate with his wife. Moreover, rather than him suddenly deciding to pluck the child from his wife, it sounds like she suddenly decided to pluck the child from him. After being blindsided and cleaned out, he’s trying to reprovision so that he’ll be prepared to maintain a relationship with the boy. While he’ll apparently have to assume more responsibility, I think it’s unfair to treat him as someone who is a stranger to his son. I imagine coming home and finding your child and everything related to the child missing would be enough to send someone reeling. In such an emotional state, I think it’s understandable that he would be asking for input to make sure he didn’t forget anything important. Personally, on a routine trip to the grocery store, I know I’m liable to forget something, and that’s when I’m not in crisis mode and it only inconveniences me, not my traumatized child whose world has been turned upside down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

That's a ridiculous excuse, OP. My father worked a lot because my mother was disabled, but he also cooked and cleaned, made my lunchbox, drove me to school, sewed buttons and clothing labels, and put together my IKEA furniture. All the things my mother could not do. Being checked-out is always a crime when it comes to your children.

DCUM can't help you anyway when it comes to details. Your child is very much his own person, and will need things that maybe not all 4 year olds need. You really seem not to know how to be a parent! Your child needs input on some of this stuff, he's 4, he has opinions and preferences: he's not an accessory you've suddenly decided to pluck away from your wife, just because she humiliated you. If your wife just left, making a list of stuff shouldn't be your top priority. It should be talking to her to establish some baseline of communication, as well as talking to your child to reassure him that his father is present in his life.

You're just so messed up.

Wow! DCUM seems pretty harsh tonight. I don’t know why you’re assuming that he’s not trying to reassure his child or coordinate with his wife. Moreover, rather than him suddenly deciding to pluck the child from his wife, it sounds like she suddenly decided to pluck the child from him. After being blindsided and cleaned out, he’s trying to reprovision so that he’ll be prepared to maintain a relationship with the boy. While he’ll apparently have to assume more responsibility, I think it’s unfair to treat him as someone who is a stranger to his son. I imagine coming home and finding your child and everything related to the child missing would be enough to send someone reeling. In such an emotional state, I think it’s understandable that he would be asking for input to make sure he didn’t forget anything important. Personally, on a routine trip to the grocery store, I know I’m liable to forget something, and that’s when I’m not in crisis mode and it only inconveniences me, not my traumatized child whose world has been turned upside down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.

That's a ridiculous excuse, OP. My father worked a lot because my mother was disabled, but he also cooked and cleaned, made my lunchbox, drove me to school, sewed buttons and clothing labels, and put together my IKEA furniture. All the things my mother could not do. Being checked-out is always a crime when it comes to your children.

DCUM can't help you anyway when it comes to details. Your child is very much his own person, and will need things that maybe not all 4 year olds need. You really seem not to know how to be a parent! Your child needs input on some of this stuff, he's 4, he has opinions and preferences: he's not an accessory you've suddenly decided to pluck away from your wife, just because she humiliated you. If your wife just left, making a list of stuff shouldn't be your top priority. It should be talking to her to establish some baseline of communication, as well as talking to your child to reassure him that his father is present in his life.

You're just so messed up.