Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

If you don't accept her then you aren't a friend.

What favors is she asking for? Does she ever reciprocate in any way?

OP, you are entitled to a preference re: who you align yourself with for friendship. No explanation or justification required.

Anonymous wrote:She should be getting money from her ex

Should be but there isn’t much that can be done if they ex won’t pay CS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

No. She made a choice and like the rest of us, she has to live with her choices.

Guarantee this is a forced birther

Is there any father in the picture at all?

Anonymous wrote:You don't sound like a good person or friend, OP.

Why would OP care about this opinion?

Anonymous wrote:Relationships need to be reciprocal but they don’t have to be 50-50.

It is perfectly fine for one friend to ask for and receive help more often because they need it more.

But it isn’t ok for one friend to never help their friend even by being a listening ear.

Absolutely none of what you said here are rules that we all must follow.

"Relationships need to be reciprocal"--no. I can be friends with someone who gives absolutely nothing to me, provides nothing to me, not even emotional support. For example, I can be friends with an elderly lady in a nursing home who spends her last days talking about the good old days.

"It is perfectly fine for one friend to ask for and receive help more often because they need it more."--no. This is anothe way of making relationships transactional--"My needs are greater so I will get more out of this"

"But it isn’t ok for one friend to never help their friend even by being a listening ear"--no. We are not required to listen to talk from others that will harm ourselves or wil encourage the speaker to continue in poor or harmful practices.

You don't sound like a good person or friend, OP.

She should be getting money from her ex

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

No. She made a choice and like the rest of us, she has to live with her choices.

what choice might that be? Maybe her husband died. You have no idea and you lack common decency and empathy.

In that case she'd be a widow with children, not a single mother with children. Semantics matter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

No. She made a choice and like the rest of us, she has to live with her choices.

what choice might that be? Maybe her husband died. You have no idea and you lack common decency and empathy.

ITT hideous monstera rushing to judge a stranger they know nothing about, not even from OP's vague hearsay.

Was she like this before having kids? People like that usually are. I’m a single mom but I’ve never been needy or played a victim. Having kids hasn’t changed that.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

No. She made a choice and like the rest of us, she has to live with her choices.

Maybe someday you will be poor, or have a disabling disease or accident. Maybe you will be widowed and have greatly reduced circumstances. Use the privilege you have now to help others.