Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 08:42     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My parents used to gift both exH and I. When we divorced their entire gifting strategy and trust strategy changed. My ex was abusive he could have previously killed me for my portion and enjoyed spending it all and more on new partners.. He tried and failed. Now it’s a descendants trust and gifts are only made to family not spouses. My children are already much wealthier than my exH.


Well, wealthy in money. Not so wealthy with the parents they were stuck with.


Luckily they have a great mom, and lots of money. Save your pity for kids who have neither.


If your husband were abusive as you say, your kids deserve pity too. Money doesn't solve the trauma they lived. It will be there forever. I'm one of those kids amd yes I feel sorry for kids who experience what I went through. BtW my parents don't see my trauma and now I don't talk to them, so be careful in how you deal with your own rich kids. Money doesn't fix your bad parenting.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 08:41     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Whaat? Why can't old have a trust fund? It can be set up for the kid, pay for college, a down payment on a house etc...
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 08:39     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The only thing I'd worry about is if the parent in the trust dies while the children are still minors, there should be some mechanism that allows the ex to access funds to be used for the children but which may necessitate using the money in the ex's name. For example, the ex loses their job and needs money to pay the mortgage, food, and utilities which benefits the children. I would expect the parent would have to fully account for those uses.


The mechanism is inbuilt with a trustee. Ours is a bank. The co-parent would go to the bank with a reasonable request for XX expenses for the kids. If the trustee (bank) deems it reasonable, they get the money.


I’d be really hesitant to set this up. The ex is going to take advantage.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 08:38     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Ex does not get anything. Too bad. Of course the children will be richer than the estranged parent, who cares?
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 08:36     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:The only thing I'd worry about is if the parent in the trust dies while the children are still minors, there should be some mechanism that allows the ex to access funds to be used for the children but which may necessitate using the money in the ex's name. For example, the ex loses their job and needs money to pay the mortgage, food, and utilities which benefits the children. I would expect the parent would have to fully account for those uses.


The mechanism is inbuilt with a trustee. Ours is a bank. The co-parent would go to the bank with a reasonable request for XX expenses for the kids. If the trustee (bank) deems it reasonable, they get the money.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 08:34     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:A couple is divorced. A grandparent is planning to make their adult child and grandchildren beneficiaries of a substantial trust. Would you set it up to also benefit the ex-spouse? Co-parenting is amicable but obviously, they’re divorced. It seems unworkable for the children to have way more assets than one parent, right? How could a trustee referee that situation?


I'm still married to my kids father and I've left him out of the trust. No way in hell if he becomes and ex would he get anything. Such a strange post. As it stands now, he will co-own 3 properties with my kids should I die. If we divorce, I would immediately take him off those too. This is common sense, OP. Stop being greedy.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2025 08:27     Subject: Re:Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:No one would include an ex-spouse in this


+1 absolutely not.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 11:54     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My parents used to gift both exH and I. When we divorced their entire gifting strategy and trust strategy changed. My ex was abusive he could have previously killed me for my portion and enjoyed spending it all and more on new partners.. He tried and failed. Now it’s a descendants trust and gifts are only made to family not spouses. My children are already much wealthier than my exH.


Well, wealthy in money. Not so wealthy with the parents they were stuck with.


Luckily they have a great mom, and lots of money. Save your pity for kids who have neither.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 11:24     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:The only thing I'd worry about is if the parent in the trust dies while the children are still minors, there should be some mechanism that allows the ex to access funds to be used for the children but which may necessitate using the money in the ex's name. For example, the ex loses their job and needs money to pay the mortgage, food, and utilities which benefits the children. I would expect the parent would have to fully account for those uses.


No that’s not what it’s for.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2025 20:56     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
No of course not.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2025 20:55     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:My parents used to gift both exH and I. When we divorced their entire gifting strategy and trust strategy changed. My ex was abusive he could have previously killed me for my portion and enjoyed spending it all and more on new partners.. He tried and failed. Now it’s a descendants trust and gifts are only made to family not spouses. My children are already much wealthier than my exH.


Well, wealthy in money. Not so wealthy with the parents they were stuck with.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2025 13:31     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:The only thing I'd worry about is if the parent in the trust dies while the children are still minors, there should be some mechanism that allows the ex to access funds to be used for the children but which may necessitate using the money in the ex's name. For example, the ex loses their job and needs money to pay the mortgage, food, and utilities which benefits the children. I would expect the parent would have to fully account for those uses.


That would be for the trustee to decide.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2025 13:24     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:The only thing I'd worry about is if the parent in the trust dies while the children are still minors, there should be some mechanism that allows the ex to access funds to be used for the children but which may necessitate using the money in the ex's name. For example, the ex loses their job and needs money to pay the mortgage, food, and utilities which benefits the children. I would expect the parent would have to fully account for those uses.


That’s not how it works at all.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2025 13:22     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
Anonymous wrote:The only thing I'd worry about is if the parent in the trust dies while the children are still minors, there should be some mechanism that allows the ex to access funds to be used for the children but which may necessitate using the money in the ex's name. For example, the ex loses their job and needs money to pay the mortgage, food, and utilities which benefits the children. I would expect the parent would have to fully account for those uses.


That’s the role of life insurance. It’s not her parents job to pay for his children.
Anonymous
Post 05/04/2025 12:53     Subject: Divorced parents, trust fund
The only thing I'd worry about is if the parent in the trust dies while the children are still minors, there should be some mechanism that allows the ex to access funds to be used for the children but which may necessitate using the money in the ex's name. For example, the ex loses their job and needs money to pay the mortgage, food, and utilities which benefits the children. I would expect the parent would have to fully account for those uses.