37 because I got fat after I had a baby.

I think sometimes women think that they are turning head but they really aren't. And these days every younger woman I see looks like a clone of another woman. They all dress the same, same hairstyle, same makeup, and they are found in groups. Maybe if a woman walks into a room where she is the only woman then she will turn head. Otherwise nobody is paying attention. And if you turn head it will only last only until the next attractive woman walks in.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 39 and turned heads in DC over the weekend (I am no longer local). I turned the most heads when I put a lot of effort into my hair and makeup and wore a sundress.

OP, I also felt I was going invisible after gaining quite a lot of weight from my last baby. I started working out last summer and have lost about 20 pounds and while I have many pounds to go, I look fit and am slimmer, which has helped.

I wish I didn’t care about turning heads but I do.

I think some women actually are at their personal prettiest in their late 30s. I think I was this way. I knew how to dress and take care of my hair, I had no wrinkles, etc. that’s when I got the most male attention.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ I have great hair and I was wearing bright lipstick.

So they looked at you for all the wrong reasons?

What are the right reasons?

I’m 39 and turned heads in DC over the weekend (I am no longer local). I turned the most heads when I put a lot of effort into my hair and makeup and wore a sundress.

OP, I also felt I was going invisible after gaining quite a lot of weight from my last baby. I started working out last summer and have lost about 20 pounds and while I have many pounds to go, I look fit and am slimmer, which has helped.

I wish I didn’t care about turning heads but I do.

Anonymous wrote:^ I have great hair and I was wearing bright lipstick.

So they looked at you for all the wrong reasons?

Anonymous wrote:44 I started feeling less attractive. Something with perimenopause. Our biology doesn’t need us to be as attractive when we can no longer be fertile.

Sorry to hear. When did you start perimenopause?

Anonymous wrote:After 40 it really only feels like the crazies, in terms of on the street head turning.

For YOU not some of us

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was delighted when I became invisible to walking testosterone. Because you're not actually losing anything you wanted. I didn't like getting catcalled, or to be the 9th woman some chad hit on in the club.

I still get interest, but it's from men of quality, after some conversation. This is where I wish I'd been all along.

True. You feel violated when men of no quality pay unwanted attention to you. It is humiliating.

LOL I don’t feel that way if a creep talks to me. His lack of game is a him problem. I’m pretty, why should I feel humiliated?

I was always the most beautiful in the room when I was younger. The way I cope now that I’m not as beautiful is that my self worth and identity was never tied up in my ability to turn heads. My mother specifically said to me growing up that being beautiful is luck, but treating others with kindness is remarkable.

You need to look inward OP. This is the circle of life. We all have our moment in the sun for one reason or another. I wouldn’t go back to being 25. I’m far more confident and content now that I’m a bit older.

I'm normal pretty or pleasant-looking at least but really nobody ever said anything, especially because I always wore modest clothes and little makeup. So I guess never?

I'd say I never turned heads but got friendly smiles.

I used to dress sharper and got more clothing compliments. Business casual killed that.

1993. I think I only “turned heads” because j crew was selling really short shorts that year. But I’ve always had dates, and have now been happily married for 20 years.

44 I started feeling less attractive. Something with perimenopause. Our biology doesn’t need us to be as attractive when we can no longer be fertile.

Right there with you, OP. Don’t really have any tips for you, but wanted to respond so you didn’t see just the wall of “I’m 50 and still have all the pretty privilege!” and feel bummed. I think I let go of a lot of appearance-related stuff during Covid, and gradually realized I wanted to try a little bit harder and do better for myself. But it’s been a hit like an elimination diet for vanity, so I do feel like it’s maybe a little more in my own terms

When I gained too much weight after going on a med that causes weight gain. At 38.

I still get some interest though.