Anonymous wrote:I’m at a complete loss and I need someone with insight to help me understand.

My friend’s son is six and plays peewee city athletic league baseball. I’m unsure of all of the details but apparently this team always makes it to the playoffs, so they are anticipating that again this year—it’s her son’s first year. They have a long-planned vacation that starts two days before the “World Series” game, and she mentioned that if he makes it to the championship, they will cancel their trip, which means they will be out some event tickets that were pretty expensive.

Are parents really letting peewee sports dictate their lives like this? My child only vaguely remembers the rec basketball he played at age six, and he was all about it. I can’t imagine cancelling a vacation for his last game, especially in hindsight when I know it isn’t even something he really even remembers. I can’t fathom this at age six. I can’t make sense of it. Help!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, either. Last summer we had a HUGE family reunion over Labor Day, planned more than a year out. My cousin’s son’s league season changed and his first football game started earlier than the years prior, and they gave up hotel deposit and nonrefundable airfare, all so her son could play in his first games that weekend. He was seven. They said he “really loves football”. Ok? And? I mean, what if he was sick? What if “insert anything”. He’s SEVEN!

Now they know. We've always had football games on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, and the football coaches have been the least flexible and understanding about players missing games. The last few years, we've left for a lake trip right after football, returning Monday evening.

Serious question: What if the kid is sick?

I wish there was a way to balance family life with unexpected sports commitments, like playoffs.

I similarly don’t like my kids to miss days of school for leisure, so we aren’t one to plan vacations during school, so I empathize and relate to prioritizing aspects of life. At the same time, it’s hard to both plan summer trips AND allow your kid to play team sports in the summer. I often wonder, what if we just play hooky? Same for school mental health days. Why can’t a kid have a day off from sports?

I don't know, OP. With football, I vowed I would never let him play in the first place, but here we are. He almost never misses a practice, and certainly not a game, because he loves it so much and is afraid of the coaches. We've missed other sports for family conflicts, though. It caused the most consternation when the kids were younger because I was unprepared as a parent for how much sports would interfere with family trips. Now I've accepted it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, either. Last summer we had a HUGE family reunion over Labor Day, planned more than a year out. My cousin’s son’s league season changed and his first football game started earlier than the years prior, and they gave up hotel deposit and nonrefundable airfare, all so her son could play in his first games that weekend. He was seven. They said he “really loves football”. Ok? And? I mean, what if he was sick? What if “insert anything”. He’s SEVEN!

Now they know. We've always had football games on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, and the football coaches have been the least flexible and understanding about players missing games. The last few years, we've left for a lake trip right after football, returning Monday evening.

Serious question: What if the kid is sick?

I wish there was a way to balance family life with unexpected sports commitments, like playoffs.

I similarly don’t like my kids to miss days of school for leisure, so we aren’t one to plan vacations during school, so I empathize and relate to prioritizing aspects of life. At the same time, it’s hard to both plan summer trips AND allow your kid to play team sports in the summer. I often wonder, what if we just play hooky? Same for school mental health days. Why can’t a kid have a day off from sports?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, either. Last summer we had a HUGE family reunion over Labor Day, planned more than a year out. My cousin’s son’s league season changed and his first football game started earlier than the years prior, and they gave up hotel deposit and nonrefundable airfare, all so her son could play in his first games that weekend. He was seven. They said he “really loves football”. Ok? And? I mean, what if he was sick? What if “insert anything”. He’s SEVEN!

Now they know. We've always had football games on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, and the football coaches have been the least flexible and understanding about players missing games. The last few years, we've left for a lake trip right after football, returning Monday evening.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, either. Last summer we had a HUGE family reunion over Labor Day, planned more than a year out. My cousin’s son’s league season changed and his first football game started earlier than the years prior, and they gave up hotel deposit and nonrefundable airfare, all so her son could play in his first games that weekend. He was seven. They said he “really loves football”. Ok? And? I mean, what if he was sick? What if “insert anything”. He’s SEVEN!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to make sense of it, exactly?

It's clear you wouldn't live this way - which is fine - and that your friend has already made up her mind. That's also fine.

But why? What is it about sports? If it was literally any other thing, I feel like parents would justify a reason why their child would be ok missing it. People justify their kids missing an entire week of school to take a vacation, eleven ways to Sunday, but can’t justify letting little Billy miss his peewee baseball championship game? Why? He’s six, he will be ok and forget all about it by the time he’s having an ice cream cone on the beach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to make sense of it, exactly?

It's clear you wouldn't live this way - which is fine - and that your friend has already made up her mind. That's also fine.

But why? What is it about sports? If it was literally any other thing, I feel like parents would justify a reason why their child would be ok missing it. People justify their kids missing an entire week of school to take a vacation, eleven ways to Sunday, but can’t justify letting little Billy miss his peewee baseball championship game? Why? He’s six, he will be ok and forget all about it by the time he’s having an ice cream cone on the beach.

Because they value what the "world series" game means for them and their kid. Because they view it as launching him to the next place in what they hope will be his baseball career. Because they love the team experience. Because the people they've met on the sidelines are their friends. Because the people on the diamond are his friends. Because they want the bragging rights of saying their kid was an all-star/in the tournament.

There are good and bad reasons but at the end of the day it's not your kid, not your family, so it doesn't matter.

We have a kid at our ES who has played multiple instruments at Carnagie Hall multiple times. I'm sure that kid's parents would cancel vacation for that. Same with, say, an elite chess player. Or the National Spelling Bee. So I disagree with your premise that "literally any other thing" people would do vacation instead.

If your “friends” will stop being your community if you can’t make the championship game, then they were never your friends.

And I’m speechless that you would compare a six year old’s championship peewee sports game to playing at Carnegie Hall or competing at the National Spelling Bee. That’s truly amazing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to make sense of it, exactly?

It's clear you wouldn't live this way - which is fine - and that your friend has already made up her mind. That's also fine.

But why? What is it about sports? If it was literally any other thing, I feel like parents would justify a reason why their child would be ok missing it. People justify their kids missing an entire week of school to take a vacation, eleven ways to Sunday, but can’t justify letting little Billy miss his peewee baseball championship game? Why? He’s six, he will be ok and forget all about it by the time he’s having an ice cream cone on the beach.

Billy is 6, he’s going to forget everything eventually. So will your kids. Did you take them anywhere you thought might be fun or interesting? Why? Why bother, when he will forget.

I think people usually do this because the adults enjoy it, too. It wasn’t at 6, but I was surprised by how much I, who is completely uninterested in EVERY sport, enjoy watching my kid play basketball (and he’s only ok and they lose a lot). I can only imagine how fun it would be if the parent already genuinely liked the sport and their kid is good and the team is advancing. For many families, that’s a heck of a good time for all members, and not a hardship to forgo other activities. Hope that helps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to make sense of it, exactly?

It's clear you wouldn't live this way - which is fine - and that your friend has already made up her mind. That's also fine.

But why? What is it about sports? If it was literally any other thing, I feel like parents would justify a reason why their child would be ok missing it. People justify their kids missing an entire week of school to take a vacation, eleven ways to Sunday, but can’t justify letting little Billy miss his peewee baseball championship game? Why? He’s six, he will be ok and forget all about it by the time he’s having an ice cream cone on the beach.

Because they value what the "world series" game means for them and their kid. Because they view it as launching him to the next place in what they hope will be his baseball career. Because they love the team experience. Because the people they've met on the sidelines are their friends. Because the people on the diamond are his friends. Because they want the bragging rights of saying their kid was an all-star/in the tournament.

There are good and bad reasons but at the end of the day it's not your kid, not your family, so it doesn't matter.

We have a kid at our ES who has played multiple instruments at Carnagie Hall multiple times. I'm sure that kid's parents would cancel vacation for that. Same with, say, an elite chess player. Or the National Spelling Bee. So I disagree with your premise that "literally any other thing" people would do vacation instead.