Unfortunately, I tell you what you won't see is parents of the players getting the attention acknowledging it OR agreeing with those who complain. That's ultimately is what feeds this problem. Youth soccer is too much a dog-eat-dog world.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t doubt that this happens. Most of the reputable clubs will not allow the current coaching staff to train kids on their team outside of standard practice in order to prevent this sort of situation. However, does your child want the extra work? Have you asked the coach how your child can be included? If there is no pathway to inclusion, there is a problem.

The “in” kids behavior is snobbish and elitist and should not be permitted but that is life. Your child can learn from the experience.

I would directly address the coach and the club. If no resolutions, you know what to do.

I would love to see a list of which clubs are reputable

Anonymous wrote:Our Pre-ECNL club did this a few years ago. Teen girls don't need the adults in their lives to add drama. Definitely not cool and divisive.

Our Pre-ECNL club did this more recently. Had special training sessions before the season started for nearly every player (but not all). And the excluded was treated like trash once the season started. Then the doofus coach is shocked when he can’t hold a program together.

Anonymous wrote:This is a Safe Sport violation.
Specifically, it is labeled 'Bulling by Exclusion.'

You can report that here: U.S. Center For Safe Sport at www.safesport.org or 720-524-5640.

Your state soccer association may have a report line and technically it might be a federal offense.

I'd at least call out the club director and call the safe sport people, because that is some BS.

Can u really. How does it work. Can they not just say they picked these girls because they think they are better. I would have thought they would pick these girls ones that need work to help. To be honest I think the whole team is close in skill, but the director and coach only want to help certain girls. So how does I do this, and what do I say?

Anonymous wrote:This is a Safe Sport violation.
Specifically, it is labeled 'Bulling by Exclusion.'

You can report that here: U.S. Center For Safe Sport at www.safesport.org or 720-524-5640.

Your state soccer association may have a report line and technically it might be a federal offense.

I'd at least call out the club director and call the safe sport people, because that is some BS.

Love this. OP- please do this.

This is a Safe Sport violation.
Specifically, it is labeled 'Bulling by Exclusion.'

You can report that here: U.S. Center For Safe Sport at www.safesport.org or 720-524-5640.

Your state soccer association may have a report line and technically it might be a federal offense.

I'd at least call out the club director and call the safe sport people, because that is some BS.

Our Pre-ECNL club did this a few years ago. Teen girls don't need the adults in their lives to add drama. Definitely not cool and divisive.

I know all about this club. We left it over a year ago. It’s toxic. Yes the director selects his “superstars” to have extra practices with, while other girls are not allowed extra practices. They usually only have 1 or 2 girls a season come out for tryouts, if they are lucky. They have a group of girls that have been there since they were little, and those are the ones who get special treatment, along with all the coaches kids. I heard the 2010 team had a girl leave this season because of mental health, and another one has left, or is leaving. Also a couple others have already trained with another team for next season. They could be loosing a bunch of players, because it’s so toxic. They select the same girls every year for I.d camps , even when there are better players on the team. The director just got in a lot of trouble for talking bad about a few girls, and it was caught on the veo cam. This is a bad club, I would leave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what. THIS happens pretty much at every club to some degree, only this is an extreme example. If not within a team, like yours, it's done with players who get asked to play on higher teams.

In either case, the critical question is that extra play/opportunities fairly earned?

I’ve never seen a coach who will offer practices to only a select few on the team. I’ve seen it when only a select few ask for extra training, but I’ve never seen a coach deny training to one player but offer to another.

It’s one thing to feed the ambition and drive of those players who want to do extra, but it’s totally something else when the coach is gate keeping some of their own players from additional training and work.

I've seen something close to it. It's subtle. Top players often get special treatment/extra attention not by the main coach but say a technical director instead. The only odd/unethical thing here is that it's the head coach, suggesting it's a smaller club (maybe not).

I’ve definitely seen favoritism, extra attention and feedback, etc. but I’ve never seen a coach deny training to one group of players who request it or want to be included in what is being done for other members of their team. That’s really beyond the pale.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what. THIS happens pretty much at every club to some degree, only this is an extreme example. If not within a team, like yours, it's done with players who get asked to play on higher teams.

In either case, the critical question is that extra play/opportunities fairly earned?

I’ve never seen a coach who will offer practices to only a select few on the team. I’ve seen it when only a select few ask for extra training, but I’ve never seen a coach deny training to one player but offer to another.

It’s one thing to feed the ambition and drive of those players who want to do extra, but it’s totally something else when the coach is gate keeping some of their own players from additional training and work.

I've seen something close to it. It's subtle. Top players often get special treatment/extra attention not by the main coach but say a technical director instead. The only odd/unethical thing here is that it's the head coach, suggesting it's a smaller club (maybe not).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the director overseeing this coach if they are aware this is happening. If not, they probably want to know. If they don’t care, move on ASAP.

- a different club coach

The director is one of the ones who selects the certain girls.

Find another club asap. There’s no hope.

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the director overseeing this coach if they are aware this is happening. If not, they probably want to know. If they don’t care, move on ASAP.

- a different club coach

The director is one of the ones who selects the certain girls.

I would ask the director overseeing this coach if they are aware this is happening. If not, they probably want to know. If they don’t care, move on ASAP.

- a different club coach

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what. THIS happens pretty much at every club to some degree, only this is an extreme example. If not within a team, like yours, it's done with players who get asked to play on higher teams.

In either case, the critical question is that extra play/opportunities fairly earned?

All the players wanted to do the extra training, but the club will not let them all. They only want to work with certain girls, the rest are out of luck.

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what. THIS happens pretty much at every club to some degree, only this is an extreme example. If not within a team, like yours, it's done with players who get asked to play on higher teams.

In either case, the critical question is that extra play/opportunities fairly earned?

I’ve never seen a coach who will offer practices to only a select few on the team. I’ve seen it when only a select few ask for extra training, but I’ve never seen a coach deny training to one player but offer to another.

It’s one thing to feed the ambition and drive of those players who want to do extra, but it’s totally something else when the coach is gate keeping some of their own players from additional training and work.