Do you always helicopter?

My kids are both pretty good swimmers but I would hesitate only for the water safety issue (assuming we are talking about DE/VA/MD beaches). Rip currents are no joke and can happen at any time. My kids are that age and I don't allow them to go to the beach without DH and we always stay by the lifeguard stands. If you know the dad will be diligently watching them, that would make me feel better but it doesn't sound that way. And handling/watching 5 boys at a time is hard for anyone.

Having said that, if its a beach with calmer waters or they are going to be spending most of the time in the pool, that wouldn't bother me. I care far less about a weekend of junk food, video games and little sleep.

Yep, I'd just remind my kid not to do things that are unsafe even if his friends are. Better to be a weenie than dead or paralyzed with a broken neck.

Anonymous wrote:My scoutmaster training is kicking in saying that you need another adult. Also would need more info on the beach and their safety plan. For many east cost beaches we only allow swimming above the waist in lifeguarded areas. Many many families don't care if there are lifeguards. Plus will there be alcohol?

Agree.

I’d primarily worry about beach safety and the driving, especially with all those kids. And whatever else they might decide to do, like if they can get their hands on motorbikes or whatever.

It would be a no for me.

we let our daughter go on a trip like this. the host mother became crazy on the trip and one of the moms drove to florida to pick up her kid (and two others.)

likely that is an outlier and your kids trip will be fine.

I'd be thrilled to be able to give this experience to my son. Mom, you need to chill a little.

Yes. This is how they grow into themselves, by being away from home and needing to play nice with other people. It's a crucial developmental step.

But... I would have struggled to let mine go! Sort-of lucky for me and my anxious ways, she hit that age during the pandemic and by the time it was over, I was feeling better about her maturity level. Still. Gotta let the little birds fledge and stretch their wings, you know?

For one on my sons at this age- yes. For the other one- no. Difference being their water safety/judgment. One was sensible and reasonably cautious at that age, the other not at all (always swam out way too far with little care for safety- still needed us supervising and reminding all the time). Equal (very good) swimming skills between the two.

Beyond that, I generally have few concerns about my kids going on trips with friends at that age. It is the open water aspect that would give me some pause (or would have for one of my sons).

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old son has been invited to go to the beach for 4 days this summer with a friend. The friend’s dad is chaperoning and there will be 4 or 5 13-14 year old boys. I know the family pretty well and my DS is responsible, but I am unsure about this trip. The host child is a good kid but can be a little impulsive. The dad is very nice but sometimes seems a little permissive. DS is close with most of the boys going and really wants to go. Would you allow this?

Your gut is obviously telling you, “no”.
Listen to that.

Anonymous wrote:Yes after a water safety lecture

This. And some talks about how to be a good guest, how to behave, how to do the right thing even if the group is pressuring you to do something you shouldn’t, etc.

My scoutmaster training is kicking in saying that you need another adult. Also would need more info on the beach and their safety plan. For many east cost beaches we only allow swimming above the waist in lifeguarded areas. Many many families don't care if there are lifeguards. Plus will there be alcohol?

I would not be okay with this at age 13. My daughter had a similar invite and I said no unless I was going.

My kid will not be doing such a trip. YMMV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how much dad will be supervising.

How would you know before you let your kid go?

We take lots of kids to the beach with us. We go most weekends. Over the years we’ve probably take. 25 different kids. No parent has ever said no or even asked what we would be doing.

Either you know the parents or ask. Are they supervising at the beach and other times or are kids on their own and just there to entertain hosts kids.

Yes. Send your kid with spending money AND talk to the chaperoning parent about reimbursing after, and then thank them profusely because it’s a lot of work for them!