Anonymous
Post 06/06/2025 14:26     Subject: Being part of the alphabet soup isn't a "be a jerk free" pass
Anonymous wrote:My workplace had a super young guy whose BF was always showing up to hang. The boss delicately told him that no outsiders were allowed in the laboratory for a myriad of reasons and he took it to the c-suite that the boss was anti-gay!


you're all just recognizing for the first time that people in marginalized groups often use their status as a weapon?
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 13:16     Subject: Being part of the alphabet soup isn't a "be a jerk free" pass
This has always existed. Remember the old saying of "pulling the race card"? It's the same idea. Using your minority status to try to twist the narrative to make the other person look bad for calling out your bad behavior. Social media has just made it way way worse. Now it's just the victim mentality.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 13:12     Subject: Being part of the alphabet soup isn't a "be a jerk free" pass
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've never seen that with LGBTQ+. I've seen it with psychiatric disorders (autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc), and in those situations there are, in certain cases, accommodations to make. But I agree you cannot use a label as a Get Out of Jail Free card.


I've also seen it in the disability community. While it probably sounds somewhat ableist, it seems to happen much more with invisible disabilities than physical/obvious disabilities. As an obviously-disabled person (who can barely pass as a normie on the very best of days, for a very limited time), it's really frustrating to see people who can do more expecting to get away with less and using their disability as some kind of pass. Same as the alphabet poster. I already face scrutiny for being queer. I don't want people to think being queer means I'm going to be a jerk and expect to get away with it.


NP. I see this quite a bit in disability. In particular I have personal experience with abusers using the language of disability advocacy to justify abuse. I have a friend whose husband was physically abusive but claimed that it was his disabilities that made him abusive. She is a healthcare worker prone to compassion and put up with horrific abuse because she had been trained to essentially accept terrible behavior because of disability. He is disabled, but he is also an abuser.

He threatened to kill her with an axe, and used that axe to smash all the family photos in the house when he had one of his rages. And he claimed that it was his disability that caused it, so she was being ableist in fleeing. “In sickness and in health, and I am sick.”


What disability could you possibly use as an excuse for that kind of horrid behaviour?


Not PP but saw this dynamic in a patient that was frequently in our hospital. He was a paraplegic from an accident which also resulted in PTSD. Both of those were reasons he used for his abusive nature towards staff, and unfortunately frequently towards his wife.