I have a very easy chill kid. Her only flaw was really low sleep needs as a baby. I did nothing to earn this or create it and I’m really open about that when people give us unearned compliments.

Anonymous wrote:Yes but the teenage years can change everything.

This is true. I was an angel until I became a teenager. I became a complete rebel when I was 16. I somehow turned out ok.

Yes but the teenage years can change everything.

yes. I have one of each.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but most parents of easy children think it’s just due to lax parenting.

Not really. I have an easy child, she was born like that but I also believe she is well behaved because we are very firm with her.

So then you don’t think she was born that way.

Anonymous wrote:They are born with a defined personality!
Great parents can have tough kids for sure.

Yes. I have one of each. People treat me so much worse when they know me as the parent of that difficult child. When they meet me through my easy child, they’re incredibly warm. It’s stark.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but most parents of easy children think it’s just due to lax parenting.

I have easy kids and I think people with more difficult kids often do get laxer than I do, because it's hard to be constantly enforcing things. If you have to intervene a couple times a day you're a lot more likely to do it than if you have to do it every five minutes (and probably do it repeatedly because you're not being obeyed). People pick their battles.

Yes this.

Anonymous wrote:Elements of nature and nature, nature definitely tipping the scale. I think my kids are relatively easy but also I a laid back parent. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Then I see people who have relatively hard kids and they are so up tight. Which came first there? Who knows...

My neighbors would probably say I'm the most strict parent in the neighborhood, but my kid is easy. The most laid back parents have the feral, poorly behaved kids.

I think there is some nature and some nurture. I have a somewhat easy kid, but we also only have the one, and we run a fairly structured ship. It's easier to be a parent when you stop at one - there's more time and energy. My kid definitely went through difficult phases, but overall she's a good kid who hasn't been too hard to parent.

Different kids are easy for different parents. I have a friend whose now-grown daughter is very much an "indoor cat"--happiest drawing, reading, crocheting. She was a delight for her parents to raise. But I have other friends who really enjoy hiking, skiing, going to sporting events (both pro and their kids' sports teams). They wouldn't have enjoyed this kid as much, and if they'd tried dragging her to the things they liked, she might have been a crankier "harder" kid.

Anonymous wrote:Yes but most parents of easy children think it’s just due to lax parenting.

Not really. I have an easy child, she was born like that but I also believe she is well behaved because we are very firm with her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but most parents of easy children think it’s just due to lax parenting.

I have easy kids and I think people with more difficult kids often do get laxer than I do, because it's hard to be constantly enforcing things. If you have to intervene a couple times a day you're a lot more likely to do it than if you have to do it every five minutes (and probably do it repeatedly because you're not being obeyed). People pick their battles.

Yes. At times you need a break and they do as well. It’s not easy.

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think so. I have 3 kids and I’d say 1 is easy, 1 is average, 1 is difficult. They are teens now and the difficult one has gotten a lot easier. The average one has gotten a little more difficult. The easy kid remains easy.

Which is a strange way to talk about my own kids but that has been my experience. I do think there is a fair amount of luck involved.

Also traits that make a kid “difficult” can sometimes be good in an adult, and traits that make a kid “easy” can end up being a negative as an adult. IMO.

Very true. My easy kid will probably be a pushover in adulthood, as he was as a child, and it might lead to issues in his private and professional life.

Anonymous wrote:Yes but most parents of easy children think it’s just due to lax parenting.

I have easy kids and I think people with more difficult kids often do get laxer than I do, because it's hard to be constantly enforcing things. If you have to intervene a couple times a day you're a lot more likely to do it than if you have to do it every five minutes (and probably do it repeatedly because you're not being obeyed). People pick their battles.

Yes. But if you have the not easy kid folks often assume things. And give more advice than you ask for.