I assume that the friend did not show the same tip toeing that the op now has to do in order to maintain the friendship.

Op has major family trauma. Friend goes on with same communication.

Friend’s kid going through autism diagnosis. Friend expects that op should never mention any neurotypical things.

EVERYONE is dealing with bad things. I don’t think OP’s friend is being reasonable and I don’t think she’s a good friend. It doesn’t sound like op is rubbing anything in.

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with a significant disability. He was my third and it was very hard to process- I was tempted just to withdrawal from other families for awhile. I couldn’t because of my other children and being with others ultimately helped me through those early days. I don’t think it’s fair to cause her of being rude or a narcissist- people in extreme pain have difficulty thinking of others and this is a hard moment for her.
Thank you for being a good friend to her.

This. She is grieving never having a normal child and perhaps is in the anger stage of that. It’s ok if you need to pull back a little to preserve your own mental health, but know she doesn’t mean malice by her comments.