Neither - the long-term SAHPs I know are not the sharpest tools in the drawer, and I’d be worried about mental degradation.

Anonymous wrote:As a mother, A was absolutely the best option for me and completely worthwhile. 500K is a fantastic HHI. I can outsource all I want and I get to be with my kids. Besides, the allure of working disappeared when I had kids and no amount of money I earned, made up for the time I was absent from my kids lives. A great nanny cannot replace a great mom or great dad. A great nanny is a wonderful replacement for a disengaged parent.

In all of the options, I am assuming that
- you have a great marriage, and your DH is a wonderful husband and father, You will never divorce or be left in financial crisis
- you have children without any big issues and you like spending time with your children
- you have the money to take care of your needs like college, retirement, outsourcing chores etc.

BTW - I am not throwing any shade on having a nanny. Any and all support to raise a kid or run a household or take care of elderly relatives is a boon. A great nanny can help to make things easier - even for a SAHM.

Being at home with money and help allowed me to do my SAHM role with ease. I am not the super high energy, super frantic, super efficient person IRL, who can do it all. I like to do things with support around me. And I like to do the things that I like to do. For me it was guiding and being with my kids.

I am not a person who cares too much about expensive things, so having a million dollar HHI is not something that I value over time. As long as I can pay for services, I am happy with my life. I was able to SAHM with a decent HHI. It has never reached $500K. We have always felt very wealthy with just $120K - $400K over the years.

Anonymous wrote:As a mother, A was absolutely the best option for me and completely worthwhile. 500K is a fantastic HHI. I can outsource all I want and I get to be with my kids. Besides, the allure of working disappeared when I had kids and no amount of money I earned, made up for the time I was absent from my kids lives. A great nanny cannot replace a great mom or great dad. A great nanny is a wonderful replacement for a disengaged parent.

In all of the options, I am assuming that
- you have a great marriage, and your DH is a wonderful husband and father, You will never divorce or be left in financial crisis
- you have children without any big issues and you like spending time with your children
- you have the money to take care of your needs like college, retirement, outsourcing chores etc.

Op - remember I said the dad in option a stays home (so no nanny unless needed).

But to your q - assume based on $500k. Yes you can save but it’s half of $1m so you save less or save twice as slowly so that person needs to work for more years

Definitely A.

As a mother, A was absolutely the best option for me and completely worthwhile. 500K is a fantastic HHI. I can outsource all I want and I get to be with my kids. Besides, the allure of working disappeared when I had kids and no amount of money I earned, made up for the time I was absent from my kids lives. A great nanny cannot replace a great mom or great dad. A great nanny is a wonderful replacement for a disengaged parent.

In all of the options, I am assuming that
- you have a great marriage, and your DH is a wonderful husband and father, You will never divorce or be left in financial crisis
- you have children without any big issues and you like spending time with your children
- you have the money to take care of your needs like college, retirement, outsourcing chores etc.

Anonymous wrote:Someone asked me this and I thought it was an interesting thought experiment.

a. Woman 1: SAHM earning 0, dh earns $500k.
b. Woman 2: WOHM who earns $1m. Dh is SAHD earning 0.

Who would you rather be?

I'd rather be Woman 2 for sure. But you forgot this on: c. Woman 3: Has her own family money.

A. Lived it. Loved it. I was also dreaming of being a SAHM since I was a little girl.

Anonymous wrote:B- There is so much make freedom with this option. DH decides to leave, no financial stress, no change in lifestyle. With Option A, wife is totally dependent on H and H doesn’t make enough to provide financial security in case of divorce.

Most people live very well on much less than this. And no, a sahm is not walking away penniless! I say this as someone working full time with a great life on much much much less. Both options have amazing freedom and stability.

I’m B but older. It has been a long path to get here. When I had no flexibility, kids were little, there was no time for anything, I made a lot but not $$$, it was a difficult time. Today is totally different. I’m spending Monday morning posting here!

Depends on the husband..

Anonymous wrote:C - woman earning 150k without a husband
Hahahaha

Surrounded by cats and with a body county that will not allow her soul to move into the next chapter upon death

B- There is so much make freedom with this option. DH decides to leave, no financial stress, no change in lifestyle. With Option A, wife is totally dependent on H and H doesn’t make enough to provide financial security in case of divorce.

A by far: hate working and 500k is twice our hhi.

Depends on what they do with the money and how long can they keep it going.
If we are looking at just one year, then B.

All depends on the husband.