I hate GoFundMes and never contribute, but I don’t judge because a lot of times people who aren’t even the direct family set them up. The family might have nothing to do with it. I wonder if they even get the money sometimes. I certainly know they don’t get a significant portion because it goes to GoFundMe (one reason I won’t use them).

I will contribute but feel bitter after a friend posted one (I felt I had to contribute) despite knowing the family made 600k-1m annually with great health insurance and over 1million in investments on top of 401k. It was a traumatic event for them (cancer diagnosis) and I’m glad they made a full recovery but it felt odd to set-up a GFM for such a family. Shortly after they got a new in-ground pool, travel trailer and several expensive trips. I feel like GFM should be limited to people who actually have need for it. But I guess I’m part of the problem for begrudgingly contributing due to peer pressure.

In my previous line of work, I had access to / needed to review and audit regular people’s bank accounts for suspected fraud. One woman had lost a young child (stillborn? SIDS? Can’t remember) and she’d set up a
GFM. Observations:

1. She’d asked for (and raised) something like $10k but only paid the funeral home less than $1k.

2. She received the GFM payout in a lump sum, direct deposit to her bank account. Literally the next day she began a months long shopping spree.

3. GFM took a decent chunk of the amount raised. I remember thinking, wow, remind me to always just Venmo the person directly and cut out the middleman.

4. I don’t think I just someone for going on a shopping spree. They lost a kid. (But in my case, the woman had also committed unrelated fraud so there’s that!)

Anonymous wrote:We know a young couple that is asking for money for their wedding.

WTAF. People have NO shame. I got married recently and largely funded the event myself. I had a modest wedding I could afford.

I used to work with a woman who easily made $600K+ a year. She sadly passed away and within hours, someone had set up a GoFundMe asking for money for funeral expenses. The person was not direct family and I always wondered if the family even approved of this: she was very well off and I’d assume had life insurance for such purposes. It was a bit odd to me.

Claiming those of us who think panhandling a tragedy for money on the internet can't be said because of the actual event - nah take it elsewhere.

I'm not giving you money for your trauma. I will give you emotional support if we're friends, meals, etc but I'm not just handing over money.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve donated to two in the last month and I hope both these families go to Disney or renovate their house or buy a neverfull because they have gone through something so painful that they should do whatever they need to get through the day. I am glad someone set up go fund mes for them both because I’m not close enough to make them dinner or babysit their kids, but I’m happy to help them in some way. It’s just money, can’t bring their child back.

+1

It’s a way to show support for somebody experiencing tragedy.

We know a young couple that is asking for money for their wedding.

I worked for a company with a very wealthy owner who loved to show off his very expensive cars. Meanwhile most of the employees worked multiple jobs just to afford rent.

His beach house was destroyed in a hurricane, and he had his second-in-command start a GoFundMe and circulate it to all the employees.

I quit shortly after that.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve donated to two in the last month and I hope both these families go to Disney or renovate their house or buy a neverfull because they have gone through something so painful that they should do whatever they need to get through the day. I am glad someone set up go fund mes for them both because I’m not close enough to make them dinner or babysit their kids, but I’m happy to help them in some way. It’s just money, can’t bring their child back.

You go get your nails done or out for dinner to help get through the loss, not spend 10k of someone else’s money on a vacation. Hell go to Rehobeth for a few nights.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve donated to two in the last month and I hope both these families go to Disney or renovate their house or buy a neverfull because they have gone through something so painful that they should do whatever they need to get through the day. I am glad someone set up go fund mes for them both because I’m not close enough to make them dinner or babysit their kids, but I’m happy to help them in some way. It’s just money, can’t bring their child back.

There’s a difference between telling someone you want the money for a funeral and using it for something frivolous and telling people you had a tragedy and would like to do something to make yourself feel happy. I really don’t understand how it because people just give money out for after someone dies if there isn’t a financial need.

Anonymous wrote:Neither will I. Have a neighbor who posted one seeking $50k. It went over that. They are by no means poor and I know based on their jobs they each make well over $150k a year. Their baby tragically died of SIDS but they didn’t need the funeral expenses and a funeral for a baby is not $50k. The same year they gutted their house and bought a new car. I have zero doubt that’s where the funds for that came from.

OMG, people are so shameless.

I’ve donated to two in the last month and I hope both these families go to Disney or renovate their house or buy a neverfull because they have gone through something so painful that they should do whatever they need to get through the day. I am glad someone set up go fund mes for them both because I’m not close enough to make them dinner or babysit their kids, but I’m happy to help them in some way. It’s just money, can’t bring their child back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither will I. Have a neighbor who posted one seeking $50k. It went over that. They are by no means poor and I know based on their jobs they each make well over $150k a year. Their baby tragically died of SIDS but they didn’t need the funeral expenses and a funeral for a baby is not $50k. The same year they gutted their house and bought a new car. I have zero doubt that’s where the funds for that came from.

I'm not willing to judge anything done by parents who lost a baby to SIDs. Check yourself.

Hmmwell. Not the PP, but... it still smacks of subterfuge. My aunt gave birth to a stillborn at 42 weeks. They were middle class and didn't ask anyone for money. No parent should ever lose a child, and those that do usually don't do a cash grab. Grief does not suddenly transform you into someone you're not. It just shows others who you really are.

And apparently you are willing to judge people you don't even know who lost a child to SIDs. Disgusting.

We'll just agree to disagree on that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither will I. Have a neighbor who posted one seeking $50k. It went over that. They are by no means poor and I know based on their jobs they each make well over $150k a year. Their baby tragically died of SIDS but they didn’t need the funeral expenses and a funeral for a baby is not $50k. The same year they gutted their house and bought a new car. I have zero doubt that’s where the funds for that came from.

I'm not willing to judge anything done by parents who lost a baby to SIDs. Check yourself.

Please. Having a baby die is not an excuse to ask for $50k and renovate your kitchen.