Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not had a miscarriage myself, but I know women who have, and some of them have had to fight to get the miscarriage recognized as a birth and/or a death that allowed them to take leave from work. Many have felt that miscarriages are swept under the rug and not recognized as something needing recognition, maybe because they only happen to women. One friend has fought on Capitol Hill to have women granted leave for miscarriages. So in general I am in favor of more representation of the actual pain and trauma that can sometimes be involved in miscarriages so that people stop expecting women to just flush the toilet and go on with their lives as though everything were normal.

Hollywood typically uses much of what happens to women as throw away storylines to set up whatever is their “real” story. Rape or kill woman in first 5 minutes so next hour the main characters can chase the bad guy. Miscarriages usually given no more thought in a show than to say it happened. Exception: Yellowstone gave additional scene where the mom told “That boy lived a perfect life, Monica. We’re the only ones who know it was brief. All he knew was you. And that you loved him.”

This. PP put it much better but I’m so tired of infertility, MC etc being used to quickly and cheaply add “drama”. A lot of modern psychological thrillers (books) do this too and I’m so over it.

PP, Weird you think most miscarriages aren’t painful. Just because other people do not have your experience, does not mean it isn’t reality for others.

I find most shows do not reflect HOW painful miscarriages truly are. I’ve had 4 miscarriages and while 1 was relatively pain free (chemical was like a late period), the one I had at 8 weeks felt like contractions. I could barely walk to the car due to the pain. I had 3 miscarriages before 1 healthy baby. My early labor pains were nothing compared to my 8 week miscarriage. Emotionally, I was so distraught. I was sobbing for days after and would cry spontaneously for months. It scared my husband a little because I’m the stoic one. It hit me harder than I could ever imagine and even afterwards am surprised at how much I cried.

I’m happy for you that it was non-eventful. I wouldn’t want others to have to experience the pain I felt. I hope you can empathize with other women who have had traumatic miscarriages.

The frequency doesn't bother me -- it's a common occurrence.

But I don't get why they are often so dramatic. Most miscarriages are not dramatic, not a sign of a bigger fertility issue, and often not even particularly painful (not trying to diminish anyone's pain here, everyone experiences it differently, but an early miscarriage is usually no more painful than a very heavy period).

I'd like to see more matter-of-fact but non-tragic miscarriages. They usually happen early and mean nothing more than the body deciding that particular zygote wasn't viable. A lot of miscarriages pave the way for healthy, successful pregnancies. I've had two. I've also had two healthy babies. My miscarriages were not dramatic tragedies, they were inconvenient annoyances.

Most of life's tragedies and dramas are fodder for television. That's nothing new. Miscarriages are good plots because there's happiness/devastation/recovery, in a short time frame.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Until you see a miscarriage story for every 4 healthy births, then you're not seeing enough.

It's debatable whether I've had more miscarriages than story lines I've seen. Meaning I've had a ton of miscarriages and would rather not see it faked on screen with the fake BS that people say to the actress.

Then you seem to want more realistic story lines and writing. I don't think we should pretend that most of us don't suffer miscarriages.

How many have you had?

Instead, ask WHY.

Well, deep down every single woman knows that’s a baby that just stopped living. It’s heartbreaking, as every case should be.

I think you notice it more when you've experienced it. Miscarriage is a fairly common trope--All in the Family tackled it in the 1970s.

Anonymous wrote:I have not had a miscarriage myself, but I know women who have, and some of them have had to fight to get the miscarriage recognized as a birth and/or a death that allowed them to take leave from work. Many have felt that miscarriages are swept under the rug and not recognized as something needing recognition, maybe because they only happen to women. One friend has fought on Capitol Hill to have women granted leave for miscarriages. So in general I am in favor of more representation of the actual pain and trauma that can sometimes be involved in miscarriages so that people stop expecting women to just flush the toilet and go on with their lives as though everything were normal.

miscarriage = yucky woman problem don't talk about it

It wasn't that long ago that people though breast cancer wasn't a topic for polite discussion