Anonymous
Post 04/28/2025 21:45     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
The psychological angle is really worth exploring. I'm 54, still have a strong libido, but the idea of being intimate with a man has been giving me the ick outside of my fantasy life.

I chalk it up to the rampant misogyny, ongoing repression of women, and rollback of our rights. As much as I'd love to take a great ride on a young stallion, mentally I can't get over the fact that he is genetically part of the problem.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 10:59     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ladies go and talk to an OB GYN who has an expertise in sexual health. Not just somebody who will gaslight you. In the DC area Dr Rachel Rubin’s practice is phenomenal. I was like all of you, zero interest, 50 yrs old, after 4 months on HRT including testosterone gel I feel much better and am starting to feel desire come back. I’m not going to lie I’m not back to my 20 something self but those days are gone. To be open to having sex and interested much of the time has been a big change for me. Also, weekly therapy has helped address other issues in our marriage.


Nobody is gaslighting anybody. It is not abnormal for women in their 40s, getting past childbearing age, to not desire or be totally turned off by sex. There is nothing wrong with any of these women.

Now, the question is do they want to keep the status quo or not? If they don't, then yes there are medical interventions like you describe. But these interventions are to reverse/change what nature has intended. And there is nothing wrong with that either.



Gaslighting isn't even real.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 20:40     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're not alone. I'm 54 and have become basically asexual. I used to love kissing and sex. Hit me about your age after a baby and soon after my DH falling down an ideological rabbit hole of Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and other repulsive shitstains. But even the fantasy of an affair or the early demise of my DH followed by the hottest guy ever after an appropriate mourning period holds no appeal at all.

I suppose you could go for testosterone HRT. I've decided against that because my vaginal atrophy post menopause is so painful that I don't want to want it.


I'm a DH who pulled out of an ideological nose dive. I fell into that rabbit hole looking for solutions to my wife not wanting to have sex much anymore. The first solutions I found (e.g. do more around the house, date night, touching with no expectations of sex, etc.) didn't do anything. So I kept looking and hit the manosphere. They offered things like work out and dress better, which ... sure. But then it was a little more questionable ... when you do have sex, make sure you act dominant. (How well that work isn't built in, depends on the particular woman's wiring and mood from time to time). Then more and more, it was tough to ignore the rampant misogyny and even racism. At first the misogyny seemed like an unfortunate side to what might be valuable advice (nothing else was working). But then it became apparent that the whole culture is a misogynistic shit show.

Our sex life never did come back, but at least she loves me and my family life is good. If I'd continued on with the red pill nonsense, my sex life would probably still be bad *and* my home life would be terrible.


I believe you. It happened to my ex and we used to be best friends. I was shocked at what I saw in his communications to his affair partner. Racist sh*t he never would have said in front of me. I couldn't stay married to him, even if he hadn't been cheating and lying.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 20:33     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
See a counselor to find it if you’re even into your marriage. Foot me, it was that I was no longer in love with exDH, he was an ass That I just put up with for the kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 18:25     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
I absolutely hate it now. And I feel terrible about my body. It's just a bad combo. DH is frustrated and I don't blame him.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 16:25     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're not alone. I'm 54 and have become basically asexual. I used to love kissing and sex. Hit me about your age after a baby and soon after my DH falling down an ideological rabbit hole of Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and other repulsive shitstains. But even the fantasy of an affair or the early demise of my DH followed by the hottest guy ever after an appropriate mourning period holds no appeal at all.

I suppose you could go for testosterone HRT. I've decided against that because my vaginal atrophy post menopause is so painful that I don't want to want it.


I'm a DH who pulled out of an ideological nose dive. I fell into that rabbit hole looking for solutions to my wife not wanting to have sex much anymore. The first solutions I found (e.g. do more around the house, date night, touching with no expectations of sex, etc.) didn't do anything. So I kept looking and hit the manosphere. They offered things like work out and dress better, which ... sure. But then it was a little more questionable ... when you do have sex, make sure you act dominant. (How well that work isn't built in, depends on the particular woman's wiring and mood from time to time). Then more and more, it was tough to ignore the rampant misogyny and even racism. At first the misogyny seemed like an unfortunate side to what might be valuable advice (nothing else was working). But then it became apparent that the whole culture is a misogynistic shit show.

Our sex life never did come back, but at least she loves me and my family life is good. If I'd continued on with the red pill nonsense, my sex life would probably still be bad *and* my home life would be terrible.


Yeah sure you're a DH.


Dunno what to tell you. If you heard my jokes or tasted my grilling, you'd believe me.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 12:39     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not normal please see your OB.


It is absolutely normal!


Totally disagree. Like some women claim it’s absolutely normal to pee when sneezing or exercising. Um, no. We all deserve a high quality of life.


The two are not mutually exclusive.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 12:37     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not normal please see your OB.


It is absolutely normal!


Totally disagree. Like some women claim it’s absolutely normal to pee when sneezing or exercising. Um, no. We all deserve a high quality of life.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 12:35     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You're not alone. I'm 54 and have become basically asexual. I used to love kissing and sex. Hit me about your age after a baby and soon after my DH falling down an ideological rabbit hole of Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, and other repulsive shitstains. But even the fantasy of an affair or the early demise of my DH followed by the hottest guy ever after an appropriate mourning period holds no appeal at all.

I suppose you could go for testosterone HRT. I've decided against that because my vaginal atrophy post menopause is so painful that I don't want to want it.


I'm a DH who pulled out of an ideological nose dive. I fell into that rabbit hole looking for solutions to my wife not wanting to have sex much anymore. The first solutions I found (e.g. do more around the house, date night, touching with no expectations of sex, etc.) didn't do anything. So I kept looking and hit the manosphere. They offered things like work out and dress better, which ... sure. But then it was a little more questionable ... when you do have sex, make sure you act dominant. (How well that work isn't built in, depends on the particular woman's wiring and mood from time to time). Then more and more, it was tough to ignore the rampant misogyny and even racism. At first the misogyny seemed like an unfortunate side to what might be valuable advice (nothing else was working). But then it became apparent that the whole culture is a misogynistic shit show.

Our sex life never did come back, but at least she loves me and my family life is good. If I'd continued on with the red pill nonsense, my sex life would probably still be bad *and* my home life would be terrible.


Yeah sure you're a DH.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 12:35     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Anonymous wrote:Ladies go and talk to an OB GYN who has an expertise in sexual health. Not just somebody who will gaslight you. In the DC area Dr Rachel Rubin’s practice is phenomenal. I was like all of you, zero interest, 50 yrs old, after 4 months on HRT including testosterone gel I feel much better and am starting to feel desire come back. I’m not going to lie I’m not back to my 20 something self but those days are gone. To be open to having sex and interested much of the time has been a big change for me. Also, weekly therapy has helped address other issues in our marriage.


Nobody is gaslighting anybody. It is not abnormal for women in their 40s, getting past childbearing age, to not desire or be totally turned off by sex. There is nothing wrong with any of these women.

Now, the question is do they want to keep the status quo or not? If they don't, then yes there are medical interventions like you describe. But these interventions are to reverse/change what nature has intended. And there is nothing wrong with that either.

Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 12:31     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Anonymous wrote:Not normal please see your OB.


It is absolutely normal!
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2025 12:08     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Ladies go and talk to an OB GYN who has an expertise in sexual health. Not just somebody who will gaslight you. In the DC area Dr Rachel Rubin’s practice is phenomenal. I was like all of you, zero interest, 50 yrs old, after 4 months on HRT including testosterone gel I feel much better and am starting to feel desire come back. I’m not going to lie I’m not back to my 20 something self but those days are gone. To be open to having sex and interested much of the time has been a big change for me. Also, weekly therapy has helped address other issues in our marriage.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2025 10:00     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Same here, OP. I love my husband, he’s a phenomenal partner and father, but anything sexual is disgusting and I just can’t. I try, for his sake, but it’s now become physically painful because I’m just not sexually aroused because I don’t want it.

It’s not anyone else either. I don’t lust after anyone, no crushes on coworkers…just happy to be asexual at this point (39) in my life I guess.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2025 09:49     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
Same here, but my partner was abusive and dry-humped me. I think I was hiding in the closet and under the bed.
I was told that it's my duty.
I left, took a break from dating, found and a new partner and it came back better than ever.
Maybe you just need a break. Not sure how you can take it.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2025 09:48     Subject: Absolutely repulsed by intimacy
One more question, are you overweight? Do you hate your body?

At least, I found post partum that was a factor in not wanting intimacy. So I started to get aggressive with weight loss.