Anonymous wrote:My parents and DHs parents both worked and didn’t pay for college. I had an athletic scholarship and DH did ROTC.
But, speaking from experience, being a SAHM of elementary school aged kids and older is kind of awful. Your job is basically to do chores and run errands. It’s more or less Anne Hathaway’s job in “The Devil Wears Prada.”

I agree with the job description but disagree that it’s awful! Different strokes for different folks and all that

There's no reason a SAHP shouldn't get a job while the kids are in school.

Part time with first three years off of to avoid institutional daycare.

I actually mostly needed my parent after school in high school. That’s a make or break time

Anonymous wrote:Stay home for 3 yrs, back to work for the other 15.

The opposite if I had a choice. Work and save in the early years, stay home for the hard ones where kids really need “Mom”

Anonymous wrote:My parents and DHs parents both worked and didn’t pay for college. I had an athletic scholarship and DH did ROTC.
But, speaking from experience, being a SAHM of elementary school aged kids and older is kind of awful. Your job is basically to do chores and run errands. It’s more or less Anne Hathaway’s job in “The Devil Wears Prada.”

I don't think its awful at all. Most of my afternoons are driving but we'd do that regardless. The difference is I have time to do them vs. my kid would not be in activities if I worked as my income wouldn't cover a driver.

It depends on the family. We planned for a state school for college and grad school. I stay at home for a variety of reasons. My mom worked and she/we would have been miserable as a SAHM and didn't enjoy being a parent at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents and DHs parents both worked and didn’t pay for college. I had an athletic scholarship and DH did ROTC.
But, speaking from experience, being a SAHM of elementary school aged kids and older is kind of awful. Your job is basically to do chores and run errands. It’s more or less Anne Hathaway’s job in “The Devil Wears Prada.”

My mother must have gotten confused about her job criteria - she thought she was supposed to nap, watch tv, and leave notes for her elementary school-aged kids with lists of chores for them to do.

Hahaha!
I hope this is because your mom was an awesome lady who then spent her evenings smoking and making witty comments like David Sedaris’s mom, and not because she was dealing with some kind of chronic illness.

Anonymous wrote:My parents and DHs parents both worked and didn’t pay for college. I had an athletic scholarship and DH did ROTC.
But, speaking from experience, being a SAHM of elementary school aged kids and older is kind of awful. Your job is basically to do chores and run errands. It’s more or less Anne Hathaway’s job in “The Devil Wears Prada.”

My mother must have gotten confused about her job criteria - she thought she was supposed to nap, watch tv, and leave notes for her elementary school-aged kids with lists of chores for them to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay home for 3 yrs, back to work for the other 15.

+1 best of both. Your kid will be thankful that they have a fully funded college account when they start picking which colleges to apply to. They won't remember (or care) that you were not home with them all day when they were 4 or 5.

Yes they do. A memory is a physical brain structure, right? Just because your child can’t verbally recount a memory doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

(I see the triple negative there, and I’m leaving it!)

I think you need to consider what works best for the whole family, not just the kids. My wife worked because she likes working. We both tried to keep hours as reasonable as we could so that we could have some time with the kids, including great vacations.

I think there are no rules, but your own preferences are important, i.e. if you hate work, or if you would be bored at home.

The kids will be ok either way.

My parents and DHs parents both worked and didn’t pay for college. I had an athletic scholarship and DH did ROTC.
But, speaking from experience, being a SAHM of elementary school aged kids and older is kind of awful. Your job is basically to do chores and run errands. It’s more or less Anne Hathaway’s job in “The Devil Wears Prada.”

The flip side of this is I am so grateful my parents have the financial means for a comfortable retirement and to pay for care if they eventually need it. That's a bigger deal than having college paid for. Though both are nice.

SAHP here, not thinking of this exact scenario but I think if the college fund is in play, I wouldn’t SAH. I guess we’re talking multiple kids?

SAH if it's what YOU want, can afford, and will be satisfied by, but don't stay at home for your kids, because in the long-term they won't care. They will care a lot if they don't have college funds. FWIW I stayed home for about 5 years and my kids have no memory of it.

Working can be very tough with young kids. It's not that hard with older kids, so it's not like this should be 16 years vs nothing.

It doesn’t just depend on the SAHM, it also depends on the quality and reliability of the childcare alternative and how flexible the careers are.