DH made a lot more than me when we dated. I would pay for things but he was always mindful about what I could afford. When we went on vacation, he often paid because he worked hard and he wanted to be able to go on a certain type of vacation and I simply couldn't afford that. He was never rude about it or belittling. I would pay for parts of it but not my equal share. He never made me feel bad.

We've been together 20 years. Not once has he ever been controlling about finances or nickel and dimed me. He was supportive when I was a SAHM for 2 years and was supportive when I wanted to go back to work. He ended up stepping back from his career a bit so that he could be more involved on the home front.

So, I guess I see your boyfriend in a totally different way because you haven't exactly given examples of what he's said that's so disrespectful and insulting, just how you take it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you were so badly insulted and why you are considering ending the relationship. I feel like I am missing something.

He makes a lot more money than I do. He has thrown that in my face many times with little insults as jokes.

First time I told him I would treat for dinner but he wanted a fancy steak. He told me don’t worry and he would pay the cost because be knows I can’t afford expensive dinners.

We went on a vacation and he chose a very expensive package. He paid for me because he knew I couldn’t afford it.

He seems to like letting me know that I can’t afford things but he can.

You sure this is not you projecting?

I think she is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you splitting costs if he makes a lot more?

I’m not his wife. Why would I expect him to pay my way for me?

You aren’t very smart.

This is red flag behavior. If you marry, I can see him nickel and diming you on how much you spend, insisting you work even if you might want to take time off from your career to be with your children when they’re young, etc. I predict he’ll ask for a pre-nup if you get engaged.

I get the sense he’s from a modest background because people who grew up with money don’t act this way. It’s trashy.

What is your job? I’m curious if he’s only disrespectful about the amount you make or if it’s also what you do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you were so badly insulted and why you are considering ending the relationship. I feel like I am missing something.

He makes a lot more money than I do. He has thrown that in my face many times with little insults as jokes.

First time I told him I would treat for dinner but he wanted a fancy steak. He told me don’t worry and he would pay the cost because be knows I can’t afford expensive dinners.

We went on a vacation and he chose a very expensive package. He paid for me because he knew I couldn’t afford it.

He seems to like letting me know that I can’t afford things but he can.

You sure this is not you projecting?

Has he actually been insulting and disrespectful? Is it disrespectful to point out that you couldn't afford the 40? I don't think so. He sounds like a guy who likes finer things in life (the steak and vacation) and knows that it would be a financial stretch for you. So he pays. You haven't actually said how he's been disrespectful or insulting. You sound like the one with issues.

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t afford a steak you probably can’t afford to live with him.

You should break up. You are not compatible.

I don’t think he has done anything wrong but you are resentful and see him as insulting and there is too much financial disparity and stress.

I can afford a nice restaurant but not all of the time. He drops 100+ on dinner multiple times a week. I make decent money but he makes a lot more than I do.

Anonymous wrote:Pattern of disrespectful behavior. I’d also reconsider the relationship. How long have you been dating?

1 year.

If you can’t afford a steak you probably can’t afford to live with him.

You should break up. You are not compatible.

I don’t think he has done anything wrong but you are resentful and see him as insulting and there is too much financial disparity and stress.

Pattern of disrespectful behavior. I’d also reconsider the relationship. How long have you been dating?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you were so badly insulted and why you are considering ending the relationship. I feel like I am missing something.

He makes a lot more money than I do. He has thrown that in my face many times with little insults as jokes.

First time I told him I would treat for dinner but he wanted a fancy steak. He told me don’t worry and he would pay the cost because be knows I can’t afford expensive dinners.

We went on a vacation and he chose a very expensive package. He paid for me because he knew I couldn’t afford it.

He seems to like letting me know that I can’t afford things but he can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you splitting costs if he makes a lot more?

I’m not his wife. Why would I expect him to pay my way for me?

Then why are you insulted he didn’t pick a place outside of your budget?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Backhand him in the balls when he says something you don't like. He'll get the message.

Where should he hit her when she says something he doesn’t like?

Domestic violence isn’t the answer to anything

Agreed. Violence is never okay.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you splitting costs if he makes a lot more?

I’m not his wife. Why would I expect him to pay my way for me?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you were so badly insulted and why you are considering ending the relationship. I feel like I am missing something.

+1