I think the ideal age for a father to have his first kid is 28-30 (the same age I'd give for women, btw). Old enough to have some life experience but not so old that they have become set in their ways and are starting to lose energy. The dads I know who have babies and/or toddlers in their mid 40s look tired AF.

The energy drop-off between 35-40 was staggering. But the income increase has been a nice offset that's allowed us to outsource all the menial tasks of keeping our house from falling into disrepair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think most women want to have babies 25-30. At least I didn’t nor did any of my relatives or friends. 25-30 was when they were getting married and buying starter homes. I think 30 is the ideal age for a first baby for first baby and you can be done by 35.

I was married in my early 20s but we waited until 30 for kids. We were working long hours at work and traveling a lot. It was great for our marriage.

There are still a variety of ages that people are having babies. We were both 25 years old. I knew I didn’t want a career, that I would just work part time. We had everything we needed just not top of the line like the 40 year olds at the preschool activities. We had more money every year and bought a house at 32 years old in an expensive town. It didn’t matter that we lived in a two room apartment when our first child was born. We knew it was temporary.

We were still very active and didn’t get the fatigue that everyone talks about. When my husband got home from work we would go walk somewhere or get in the car. That wouldn’t have happened at 40 years old, the height of his career.

There are pros and cons to both.

That's waaaaay to young to be sedentary and get out of shape. I can still run 10K marathons at a much older age.

I never saw any older men out with their babies after work. More likely to be at the gym or some solo activity.

My husband was 38. Great from many standpoints. 35-36 would have been better for having more than one child.

26-30 ..

Sperm quality declines after your 20s. If you want healthier and smarter kids it’s better to have them early.

30-40

31 -33

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think most women want to have babies 25-30. At least I didn’t nor did any of my relatives or friends. 25-30 was when they were getting married and buying starter homes. I think 30 is the ideal age for a first baby for first baby and you can be done by 35.

I was married in my early 20s but we waited until 30 for kids. We were working long hours at work and traveling a lot. It was great for our marriage.

There are still a variety of ages that people are having babies. We were both 25 years old. I knew I didn’t want a career, that I would just work part time. We had everything we needed just not top of the line like the 40 year olds at the preschool activities. We had more money every year and bought a house at 32 years old in an expensive town. It didn’t matter that we lived in a two room apartment when our first child was born. We knew it was temporary.

We were still very active and didn’t get the fatigue that everyone talks about. When my husband got home from work we would go walk somewhere or get in the car. That wouldn’t have happened at 40 years old, the height of his career.

There are pros and cons to both.

That's waaaaay to young to be sedentary and get out of shape. I can still run 10K marathons at a much older age.

A what?
A marathon is 26.2 miles (about 42k.). There is no such thing as a “10k marathon.”
If you actually ran them, you’d know that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think most women want to have babies 25-30. At least I didn’t nor did any of my relatives or friends. 25-30 was when they were getting married and buying starter homes. I think 30 is the ideal age for a first baby for first baby and you can be done by 35.

I was married in my early 20s but we waited until 30 for kids. We were working long hours at work and traveling a lot. It was great for our marriage.

There are still a variety of ages that people are having babies. We were both 25 years old. I knew I didn’t want a career, that I would just work part time. We had everything we needed just not top of the line like the 40 year olds at the preschool activities. We had more money every year and bought a house at 32 years old in an expensive town. It didn’t matter that we lived in a two room apartment when our first child was born. We knew it was temporary.

We were still very active and didn’t get the fatigue that everyone talks about. When my husband got home from work we would go walk somewhere or get in the car. That wouldn’t have happened at 40 years old, the height of his career.

There are pros and cons to both.

That's waaaaay to young to be sedentary and get out of shape. I can still run 10K marathons at a much older age.

Not sure but I think she meant her husband was very busy with his career at 40, not that he was sedentary….

Late 30s.


By far.

Before that they are selfish partiers

I can actually answer this bc H had 3 kids at 22, 32, and 42 (only the last one was with me) and we’ve talked about it.

22 - the upsides are that he had a TON of energy still and since both him and his family were young, he had a ton of help. Downsides are it didn’t work out with his ex because they were 22 and behaving, well, like 22 year olds (partying, cheating, etc).

42 - Upsides are that he had partying/youth fully out of his system so has been fully devoted to our DC. Also makes good money now. Enjoys being a father more now than at 22 and is much more patient. Downside is he’s pretty tired most of the time, even one night of sleep deprivation messes him up.

32 - Probably the worst of the 3. Still wasn’t making decent money, still wanted to act single (not 100% but did want to still party a bit), but old enough to start feeling the impacts of sleep deprivation and age.

So overall I’d say the best are at either extreme, either when you’re young enough to handle it, or old enough you can provide more stability.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think most women want to have babies 25-30. At least I didn’t nor did any of my relatives or friends. 25-30 was when they were getting married and buying starter homes. I think 30 is the ideal age for a first baby for first baby and you can be done by 35.

I was married in my early 20s but we waited until 30 for kids. We were working long hours at work and traveling a lot. It was great for our marriage.

There are still a variety of ages that people are having babies. We were both 25 years old. I knew I didn’t want a career, that I would just work part time. We had everything we needed just not top of the line like the 40 year olds at the preschool activities. We had more money every year and bought a house at 32 years old in an expensive town. It didn’t matter that we lived in a two room apartment when our first child was born. We knew it was temporary.

We were still very active and didn’t get the fatigue that everyone talks about. When my husband got home from work we would go walk somewhere or get in the car. That wouldn’t have happened at 40 years old, the height of his career.

There are pros and cons to both.

That's waaaaay to young to be sedentary and get out of shape. I can still run 10K marathons at a much older age.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think most women want to have babies 25-30. At least I didn’t nor did any of my relatives or friends. 25-30 was when they were getting married and buying starter homes. I think 30 is the ideal age for a first baby for first baby and you can be done by 35.

I was married in my early 20s but we waited until 30 for kids. We were working long hours at work and traveling a lot. It was great for our marriage.

There are still a variety of ages that people are having babies. We were both 25 years old. I knew I didn’t want a career, that I would just work part time. We had everything we needed just not top of the line like the 40 year olds at the preschool activities. We had more money every year and bought a house at 32 years old in an expensive town. It didn’t matter that we lived in a two room apartment when our first child was born. We knew it was temporary.

We were still very active and didn’t get the fatigue that everyone talks about. When my husband got home from work we would go walk somewhere or get in the car. That wouldn’t have happened at 40 years old, the height of his career.

There are pros and cons to both.

I don’t think most women want to have babies 25-30. At least I didn’t nor did any of my relatives or friends. 25-30 was when they were getting married and buying starter homes. I think 30 is the ideal age for a first baby for first baby and you can be done by 35.

I was married in my early 20s but we waited until 30 for kids. We were working long hours at work and traveling a lot. It was great for our marriage.