My dd was dx at age 4 and a half. My first concerns were at 12 months, when she wasn't babbling (or walking). At her 12 mo ped appt, red flags were raised on the MCHAT, and the ped said she was referring for EI before I could ask her to do it.

Her first dx's were gross and fine motor skills delay, then expressive and receptive language delay and sensory processing disorder. She got services from EI until age 3, then she got speech and I also got her in OT and private speech. I also got her on waiting lists to get a neuropysch. Finally got an appt when she was 4, and after a 2 day eval, she was dx.

My dd is friendly, but doesn't have close friends. She is friends with one girl with ADHD, and seems happy with just the one friend. Defenitely now at 10, I'm seeing the social gap with girls. The gaggle of girls at church that she used to run with on Sundays (all kids of volunteers, so they spent lots of time together) is moving on to clothes and boys and she has zero interest.

She's come really far in a lot of ways (fully verbal, the sensory stuff is better) but now it's stuff like anxiety. We are actually going to a pyschiartrist today for the first time, because it is impacting her life.

Anonymous wrote:I recognized differences by the time she was 4, but couldn't get an official diagnosis until she was in high school. She was an early talker and reader with lots of imaginative play, and she just presented as very shy and anxious. She was also very good with one-on-one with the therapist and at home. It wasn't until she was older and had tried years of social groups, therapy, etc that everyone finally accepted that the issue wasn't anxiety, but that she genuinely couldn't make good social connections.

Was she interested in social connections?

Didnt really notice anything till around 6. Then the rigidity set in - it had to be her way or the highway. Then by 8 the emotional disregulation was next level. Complete huge meltdowns at home and school. We were on complete eggshells. She has a few friends but i now notice it’s one sided - she has to dominate the play. We are in the middle of it trying to find the right combo of meds as she is explosive and blacks out when she has a huge tantrum

I recognized differences by the time she was 4, but couldn't get an official diagnosis until she was in high school. She was an early talker and reader with lots of imaginative play, and she just presented as very shy and anxious. She was also very good with one-on-one with the therapist and at home. It wasn't until she was older and had tried years of social groups, therapy, etc that everyone finally accepted that the issue wasn't anxiety, but that she genuinely couldn't make good social connections.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what help did your daughters on the spectrum get? Does therapy help them? Medication? What helped?

I'm the mom of the 18 year old who posted above. Medication, first for anxiety and ADHD and later a mood stabilizer, was crucial. Encouraging her special interests and finding ways that she could shine in a community separate from school was probably the best thing we did. One thing that was important for me was letting go of the idea that I could ever find The Thing that would make her not autistic, and instead embracing her goals, rather than mine.

. THIS!!!! ditto to the posters with 15/16 year old newly diagnosed girls.

My late 50s sibling was never diagnosed as a child but there are strong correlations. Not speaking until age of 3, trouble with social cues, trouble with friendships, problem with eye contact, emotional dysregulation, textbooks guide her thinking. Was always a stellar student but struggled outside of the academy. Divorced and despite a very fancy phd, can't get any work.
As this was the first born child, I thought the behavior was normal. After having my own kids, I started to see it as strange. I mentioned it to her and she becomes deeply angry because she believes she is a genius.

Anonymous wrote:So what help did your daughters on the spectrum get? Does therapy help them? Medication? What helped?

I'm the mom of the 18 year old who posted above. Medication, first for anxiety and ADHD and later a mood stabilizer, was crucial. Encouraging her special interests and finding ways that she could shine in a community separate from school was probably the best thing we did. One thing that was important for me was letting go of the idea that I could ever find The Thing that would make her not autistic, and instead embracing her goals, rather than mine.