Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid get the offer and :
- strongly don’t want to go, please please don’t force them.
- feeling meh, hesitant and asked for guidance, then talk to them. I would suggest towards encourage them to give it a try, but you are the parent you should know your kids better.
- doing happy dancing, then welcome to TJ!

I'm the one who keeps reminding everyone about the possibilities of people trying to discourage, and the above advice is spot on. There's no value in forcing them to give it a chance if you know they're not going to give it a real chance.

I will say, you will learn a LOT at Freshmen Preview Night, which will take place before you are required to make your decision. No matter what, you and your child should absolutely attend FPN. It might take a hard no and turn it into a maybe.

Is it true that you're expected to also complete course selection during that two weeks, if you do decide to accept?

Anonymous wrote:Meant to add: if they follow last year’s protocol, you are allowed 2 weeks to accept or decline.

The preview night occurred during those 2 weeks.

However, Dr. Bonitatibus was the principal then. Not sure if our new principal, Mr. Mukai (who is AWESOME!) will run things the same way for the class of 2029.

Did the 2 weeks last year include spring break week? Would love to have preview night in first week and then the 2nd week after that for student to decide. I am glad to hear they do (or at least did) a preview because know some go to colleges they have never been to, but more chance for good match if seen school, met people.

Meant to add: if they follow last year’s protocol, you are allowed 2 weeks to accept or decline.

The preview night occurred during those 2 weeks.

However, Dr. Bonitatibus was the principal then. Not sure if our new principal, Mr. Mukai (who is AWESOME!) will run things the same way for the class of 2029.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid get the offer and :
- strongly don’t want to go, please please don’t force them.
- feeling meh, hesitant and asked for guidance, then talk to them. I would suggest towards encourage them to give it a try, but you are the parent you should know your kids better.
- doing happy dancing, then welcome to TJ!

I'm the one who keeps reminding everyone about the possibilities of people trying to discourage, and the above advice is spot on. There's no value in forcing them to give it a chance if you know they're not going to give it a real chance.

I will say, you will learn a LOT at Freshmen Preview Night, which will take place before you are required to make your decision. No matter what, you and your child should absolutely attend FPN. It might take a hard no and turn it into a maybe.

Is Freshman preview night by zoom/online? Some posts saying offers expected this Friday and if 2 weeks to decide, would preview night be the week after spring break?

Hi, I am the parent recommending not to force kids who don’t want to go.

Preview night is in person. It is a really nice event for both those 8th graders offered a spot and their parents. It is held at the school.

Last year it was exceptionally well-organized and offered an opportunity to talk with many teachers, staff, see the school for the first time, ask questions, etc. We connected with a few parents we knew and met some new folks as well. My child had the chance to meet other students offered admission and had a chance to talk with them.

While we ultimately accepted (at my child’s insistence; he was so eager to attend), a few other Longfellow students declined. I believe preview night can really help shape the decision; it is a night not to be missed, IMO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid get the offer and :
- strongly don’t want to go, please please don’t force them.
- feeling meh, hesitant and asked for guidance, then talk to them. I would suggest towards encourage them to give it a try, but you are the parent you should know your kids better.
- doing happy dancing, then welcome to TJ!

I'm the one who keeps reminding everyone about the possibilities of people trying to discourage, and the above advice is spot on. There's no value in forcing them to give it a chance if you know they're not going to give it a real chance.

I will say, you will learn a LOT at Freshmen Preview Night, which will take place before you are required to make your decision. No matter what, you and your child should absolutely attend FPN. It might take a hard no and turn it into a maybe.

Is Freshman preview night by zoom/online? Some posts saying offers expected this Friday and if 2 weeks to decide, would preview night be the week after spring break?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid get the offer and :
- strongly don’t want to go, please please don’t force them.
- feeling meh, hesitant and asked for guidance, then talk to them. I would suggest towards encourage them to give it a try, but you are the parent you should know your kids better.
- doing happy dancing, then welcome to TJ!

I'm the one who keeps reminding everyone about the possibilities of people trying to discourage, and the above advice is spot on. There's no value in forcing them to give it a chance if you know they're not going to give it a real chance.

I will say, you will learn a LOT at Freshmen Preview Night, which will take place before you are required to make your decision. No matter what, you and your child should absolutely attend FPN. It might take a hard no and turn it into a maybe.

Really appreciate honest and genuine advice like this. This is a hugely important decision for any student/family.

Anonymous wrote:If your kid get the offer and :
- strongly don’t want to go, please please don’t force them.
- feeling meh, hesitant and asked for guidance, then talk to them. I would suggest towards encourage them to give it a try, but you are the parent you should know your kids better.
- doing happy dancing, then welcome to TJ!

I'm the one who keeps reminding everyone about the possibilities of people trying to discourage, and the above advice is spot on. There's no value in forcing them to give it a chance if you know they're not going to give it a real chance.

I will say, you will learn a LOT at Freshmen Preview Night, which will take place before you are required to make your decision. No matter what, you and your child should absolutely attend FPN. It might take a hard no and turn it into a maybe.

If your kid get the offer and :
- strongly don’t want to go, please please don’t force them.
- feeling meh, hesitant and asked for guidance, then talk to them. I would suggest towards encourage them to give it a try, but you are the parent you should know your kids better.
- doing happy dancing, then welcome to TJ!

Anonymous wrote:Please talk to real parents whose kids have attended TJ, rather than trusting anonymous internet posters. You wouldn't allow your kid to trust them, right?

In my case, after my child was admitted, I spoke with a few parents I know who either have kids currently at TJ or had children already graduated TJ. A few families had one child at TJ and another at a base school. All the parents were all very honest and offered a range of perspectives, I found them incredibly helpful.

+1. Honest advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid just told me that he doesn't want to go to TJ even if he gets in. Same with his close friends. He said that everything feels like it's too much. These kids are straight A, supper involved, Algebra II in 8th grade type of kids. I can't gather if he is being serious. However, he has never opened up about the pressure of it all before so I think he is floating a trial balloon to see how we would react if he didn't want to go. Anyone else seeing this in their kids? Does TJ allow you to defer for a year?

I am the parent of a student at TJ. Please listen to your child if they prefer to remain at their base school. My child has informed me there are many students who are struggling and miserable at TJ because their parents forced them to go even though the child did not want to attend.

TJ is stronger when every student is invested and eager to be there.

Also, your straight-A student has better university admissions chances from your base school than from TJ (where straight A’s are exceedingly rare).

Parents of applicants: please listen to your children.

Another gentle reminder of two realities:

1) At this time of year, you will see a staggering number of posts that are designed to get you to reject your offer of admission so that the kids on the waitlist will have a better shot;

2) You are far better off momentarily regretting the choice to go to TJ and transferring out within the first couple of months than you are potentially regretting the choice not to go to TJ forever. If you turn down the spot, you're not getting it back, and there's essentially zero harm in giving it a shot to see if it's the right situation. And if your child cares about school and wants to be around kids who also care about school, TJ is likely an excellent fit for them.

You made the same accusation against my advice last time, though let me remind you PP: 1) there is no wait list yet, and 2) even were there a wait list in existence at this time, it would have zero effect personally as my child is completing their first year and has registered for sophomore classes.

Everyone else: TJ is stronger when the entire student body is fully invested and eager to be there. Please do not force your daughter or son into an academic environment where they’d rather not be.

. . . . Why are you so eager to discourage people from giving it a chance?

Wow, PP. way to miss the point entirely.

Everyone: notice how PP did not use the word “students” ? She is asking about “people,” not students.

It’s clear she cares not at all what students (mere children) want or feel about high school; she thinks the decision should be made 100% by parents. Isn’t that right, PP?

I’ve got news for you, PP: the parents are not the ones who have to attend TJ. The parents are not the ones putting in the long hours doing homework (although you might be one of “those” parents who do their kids homework for them).

The parents like you should stop living your dreams vicariously by forcing your poor child into any and every possibly advanced academic accomplishment simply to satisfy your own selfish ego.

But you asked why I am discouraging parents from forcing their reluctant kids who don’t want to go?

It is because of all the kids who slack on group projects while my child wants to learn. It is because of the kids who surreptitiously check TikTok during class, because they don’t want to be there. It’s because to the minority of kids with poor attitudes, who would rather be with their friends at their base school.

I even created an s/o thread for you. Go read it.

Because you're exposed. "People" could mean students, parents, or both. Such a cheap shot.

Please talk to real parents whose kids have attended TJ, rather than trusting anonymous internet posters. You wouldn't allow your kid to trust them, right?

In my case, after my child was admitted, I spoke with a few parents I know who either have kids currently at TJ or had children already graduated TJ. A few families had one child at TJ and another at a base school. All the parents were all very honest and offered a range of perspectives, I found them incredibly helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid just told me that he doesn't want to go to TJ even if he gets in. Same with his close friends. He said that everything feels like it's too much. These kids are straight A, supper involved, Algebra II in 8th grade type of kids. I can't gather if he is being serious. However, he has never opened up about the pressure of it all before so I think he is floating a trial balloon to see how we would react if he didn't want to go. Anyone else seeing this in their kids? Does TJ allow you to defer for a year?

I am the parent of a student at TJ. Please listen to your child if they prefer to remain at their base school. My child has informed me there are many students who are struggling and miserable at TJ because their parents forced them to go even though the child did not want to attend.

TJ is stronger when every student is invested and eager to be there.

Also, your straight-A student has better university admissions chances from your base school than from TJ (where straight A’s are exceedingly rare).

Parents of applicants: please listen to your children.

Another gentle reminder of two realities:

1) At this time of year, you will see a staggering number of posts that are designed to get you to reject your offer of admission so that the kids on the waitlist will have a better shot;

2) You are far better off momentarily regretting the choice to go to TJ and transferring out within the first couple of months than you are potentially regretting the choice not to go to TJ forever. If you turn down the spot, you're not getting it back, and there's essentially zero harm in giving it a shot to see if it's the right situation. And if your child cares about school and wants to be around kids who also care about school, TJ is likely an excellent fit for them.

You made the same accusation against my advice last time, though let me remind you PP: 1) there is no wait list yet, and 2) even were there a wait list in existence at this time, it would have zero effect personally as my child is completing their first year and has registered for sophomore classes.

Everyone else: TJ is stronger when the entire student body is fully invested and eager to be there. Please do not force your daughter or son into an academic environment where they’d rather not be.

. . . . Why are you so eager to discourage people from giving it a chance?

Wow, PP. way to miss the point entirely.

Everyone: notice how PP did not use the word “students” ? She is asking about “people,” not students.

It’s clear she cares not at all what students (mere children) want or feel about high school; she thinks the decision should be made 100% by parents. Isn’t that right, PP?

I’ve got news for you, PP: the parents are not the ones who have to attend TJ. The parents are not the ones putting in the long hours doing homework (although you might be one of “those” parents who do their kids homework for them).

The parents like you should stop living your dreams vicariously by forcing your poor child into any and every possibly advanced academic accomplishment simply to satisfy your own selfish ego.

But you asked why I am discouraging parents from forcing their reluctant kids who don’t want to go?

It is because of all the kids who slack on group projects while my child wants to learn. It is because of the kids who surreptitiously check TikTok during class, because they don’t want to be there. It’s because to the minority of kids with poor attitudes, who would rather be with their friends at their base school.

I even created an s/o thread for you. Go read it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid just told me that he doesn't want to go to TJ even if he gets in. Same with his close friends. He said that everything feels like it's too much. These kids are straight A, supper involved, Algebra II in 8th grade type of kids. I can't gather if he is being serious. However, he has never opened up about the pressure of it all before so I think he is floating a trial balloon to see how we would react if he didn't want to go. Anyone else seeing this in their kids? Does TJ allow you to defer for a year?

I am the parent of a student at TJ. Please listen to your child if they prefer to remain at their base school. My child has informed me there are many students who are struggling and miserable at TJ because their parents forced them to go even though the child did not want to attend.

TJ is stronger when every student is invested and eager to be there.

Also, your straight-A student has better university admissions chances from your base school than from TJ (where straight A’s are exceedingly rare).

Parents of applicants: please listen to your children.

Another gentle reminder of two realities:

1) At this time of year, you will see a staggering number of posts that are designed to get you to reject your offer of admission so that the kids on the waitlist will have a better shot;

2) You are far better off momentarily regretting the choice to go to TJ and transferring out within the first couple of months than you are potentially regretting the choice not to go to TJ forever. If you turn down the spot, you're not getting it back, and there's essentially zero harm in giving it a shot to see if it's the right situation. And if your child cares about school and wants to be around kids who also care about school, TJ is likely an excellent fit for them.

You made the same accusation against my advice last time, though let me remind you PP: 1) there is no wait list yet, and 2) even were there a wait list in existence at this time, it would have zero effect personally as my child is completing their first year and has registered for sophomore classes.

Everyone else: TJ is stronger when the entire student body is fully invested and eager to be there. Please do not force your daughter or son into an academic environment where they’d rather not be.

I'm sorry, but your story doesn't seem to add up. Waitpool is officially one of the three categories for admission decisions as stated TJ's webpage. If you're a TJ parent, you should be aware of that. More importantly, the suggestion to try it out for a few months rather than declining right away seems to make eminent sense from an opportunity cost standpoint. Why are you so eager to discourage people from giving it a chance?

Different poster here.

The PP was saying that: 1) the TJ decisions have not been sent out yet so there is not a wait list at the time they wrote their post. No one is on the wait list right now because decisions have not been released. 2) And if there was, it wouldn’t impact their child because their child is a Freshman at TJ.

They are not discouraging anyone, they are giving advice. Kids attending TJ should be there because they want to be there and want the challenge, not because their parents told them they have to attend. A kid who wants to be at TJ is more likely to enjoy themselves and be successful. Kids who are forced to go are likely to be resentful and not as invested in the school.

Have you thought of the consequences of attending TJ for a quarter and then returning to your base school? Kids who do that probably feel like a failure and there could be negative consequences at their base school when they return. It could be hard to get a schedule that the kid wants and they could be teased for “not being good enough to stay at TJ” by other kids.

I think it is good advice. The advice is geared more to the parents, don’t force your kid to attend TJ. Talk to your hcild, walk throught he pros and cons and let the child make the decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid just told me that he doesn't want to go to TJ even if he gets in. Same with his close friends. He said that everything feels like it's too much. These kids are straight A, supper involved, Algebra II in 8th grade type of kids. I can't gather if he is being serious. However, he has never opened up about the pressure of it all before so I think he is floating a trial balloon to see how we would react if he didn't want to go. Anyone else seeing this in their kids? Does TJ allow you to defer for a year?

I am the parent of a student at TJ. Please listen to your child if they prefer to remain at their base school. My child has informed me there are many students who are struggling and miserable at TJ because their parents forced them to go even though the child did not want to attend.

TJ is stronger when every student is invested and eager to be there.

Also, your straight-A student has better university admissions chances from your base school than from TJ (where straight A’s are exceedingly rare).

Parents of applicants: please listen to your children.

Another gentle reminder of two realities:

1) At this time of year, you will see a staggering number of posts that are designed to get you to reject your offer of admission so that the kids on the waitlist will have a better shot;

2) You are far better off momentarily regretting the choice to go to TJ and transferring out within the first couple of months than you are potentially regretting the choice not to go to TJ forever. If you turn down the spot, you're not getting it back, and there's essentially zero harm in giving it a shot to see if it's the right situation. And if your child cares about school and wants to be around kids who also care about school, TJ is likely an excellent fit for them.

You made the same accusation against my advice last time, though let me remind you PP: 1) there is no wait list yet, and 2) even were there a wait list in existence at this time, it would have zero effect personally as my child is completing their first year and has registered for sophomore classes.

Everyone else: TJ is stronger when the entire student body is fully invested and eager to be there. Please do not force your daughter or son into an academic environment where they’d rather not be.

I'm sorry, but your story doesn't seem to add up. Waitpool is officially one of the three categories for admission decisions as stated TJ's webpage. If you're a TJ parent, you should be aware of that. More importantly, the suggestion to try it out for a few months rather than declining right away seems to make eminent sense from an opportunity cost standpoint. Why are you so eager to discourage people from giving it a chance?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid just told me that he doesn't want to go to TJ even if he gets in. Same with his close friends. He said that everything feels like it's too much. These kids are straight A, supper involved, Algebra II in 8th grade type of kids. I can't gather if he is being serious. However, he has never opened up about the pressure of it all before so I think he is floating a trial balloon to see how we would react if he didn't want to go. Anyone else seeing this in their kids? Does TJ allow you to defer for a year?

I am the parent of a student at TJ. Please listen to your child if they prefer to remain at their base school. My child has informed me there are many students who are struggling and miserable at TJ because their parents forced them to go even though the child did not want to attend.

TJ is stronger when every student is invested and eager to be there.

Also, your straight-A student has better university admissions chances from your base school than from TJ (where straight A’s are exceedingly rare).

Parents of applicants: please listen to your children.

Another gentle reminder of two realities:

1) At this time of year, you will see a staggering number of posts that are designed to get you to reject your offer of admission so that the kids on the waitlist will have a better shot;

2) You are far better off momentarily regretting the choice to go to TJ and transferring out within the first couple of months than you are potentially regretting the choice not to go to TJ forever. If you turn down the spot, you're not getting it back, and there's essentially zero harm in giving it a shot to see if it's the right situation. And if your child cares about school and wants to be around kids who also care about school, TJ is likely an excellent fit for them.

You made the same accusation against my advice last time, though let me remind you PP: 1) there is no wait list yet, and 2) even were there a wait list in existence at this time, it would have zero effect personally as my child is completing their first year and has registered for sophomore classes.

Everyone else: TJ is stronger when the entire student body is fully invested and eager to be there. Please do not force your daughter or son into an academic environment where they’d rather not be.