I think the answer to this differs so much by who the relative is, and the nature of your friendships. I would probably text my 2-3 closest friends if my parents died, usually that day but not necessarily immediately.

Anonymous wrote: If you are struggling with grief get counseling. Let your friends know, but don’t call them at work or treat it like an emergency.

My best friend called me at work when her relative was dying. I was there for her and was not upset that she called me at work, geez. It really depends upon the relationship and how close you are.

An extended family member killed themselves earlier this month. I texted my good friend who didn't know this person, but she came over immediately and hugged me tight and listened. That's why she's a good friend.