She sees wasted potential and feels disappointed because you haven't done much to use it. Her expressions may seem sarcastic but probably rooted in fear of future. You need to do more and analyze less. Once you have your act together, seek therapy to sort your emotional life and parental relationship.

Anonymous wrote:Or today, I saw some never seen before pics of my dad in his youth and cried. My dad is alive but I still got emotional. And she asked my why im crying. One time I had just woken up and she said my nose looked like a potato.
Another time I had overplucked my brows and she said its too much.

Im sorry but as a mom you just dont get away with this shit. You just dont. It leaves emotional scars.
She doesnt get to tell me I shouldnt be insecure when she has done things like that.

And she always says how she does 1000 good things and 1 bad thing and I harp on the bad thing. Well your bad thing was talking about my looks and not knowing how to deal

I have a Father who is just like this.

I joined the military to get away from him. There were times before I left that I stayed at home to help him and my Mom instead of moving out because they needed it. I realized at a certain point I can't spend my life worrying about them so I moved 1000s of miles away and go back to visit sometimes.

Fast forward 15 years and I have two kids and my Dad acts like this towards them. My wife hates it and my one strong willed child hates him. I now have to protect my child and rarely go home because of him. I also realize now that he was emotionally abusive and a horrible parent. We barely talk at this point.

Good luck OP. Don't listen to everyone else. They won't understand what it is like to lose the parent lottery and be harassed by someone who is supposed to protect and love you.

Anonymous wrote:Im the OP that posted before but this time I have a very specific question

I live at home in my 20’s and when I tell my mom that Im probably going to move out if she continues to try and control me she says ” And where would you go 😂?”

I added the laughing emoji because she laughs / smiles when she says that.

Any other parent would encourage me. When she says that I feel incapable. Sometimes she’ll say how Im so capable and have potential in life. Other days she says shit like that. And anytime I confront her about it she gets upset, goes outside for an hour, comes back and is cold

Your focus should be on what you need to do to become independent and successful, staying hung up on anyone else's opinion and playing the blame game isn't neither healthy nor productive.

What she says --- does not determine the truth.

Can you move out? You sure should.

You're in your 20s, it sounds like you have a job. Time to take some responsibility for your life and stop blaming others for what's going on. You hate your home life because of how your mom is? Don't blame you. Sounds like you have the means to leave. So do it. What exactly is stopping you? Some weird need to keep the peace? Not your responsibility. Sounds like a therapist would be good to help you get past that mental roadblock in realizing that.

But take responsibility for your life. Don't keep wasting it and acting like you don't have any options. You do, you just need help getting the final push to act on them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either get therapy, move out, or stop whining.

Go eff yourself. I have always been an incredibly helpful kind child and have always stayed out of trouble. I do not deserve to feel this way and suffer like this. Especially not since I was a child.

Im not whining. I am someone who is breaking down emotionally. I definitely did not ask for advice from someone like YOU

Ok...but I mean that's the reality. You can continue to create posts and complain about your family who sound awful and ask for advice, but where is that going to get you? Nowhere. You need therapy to help you work through your issues so you can move out. If you refuse to do that ....then stop complaining about the situation you find yourself in. If you won't do the steps to change the situation you're in, you really have no business complaining about it.

Call her bluff. You think she won’t talk to you if you move out? Maybe for like a week. She will be begging to get her punching bag back.

Move out. Be an adult. Build your identity on your own, away from this abuse.

Yes your mom is emotionally abusive. But this is also why kids and parents shouldn’t live together past age 18. I think your mom is purposefully trying to soil the nest so you’ll leave.

Do you have a career? Friends you could share an apartment with? 20s are an exciting age and you need to break free of your mom.

You both have some problems. It's up to you to move out and not put up with her and her problems. It's quite possible that living together is best for the two of you. I've seen it.
As long as you both stay away from unsuspecting strangers, friends, acquaintances, do whatever.

It’s a cycle of abuse, even though you are an adult, she still sees you as a child and her property while holding the roof over your head as her only control left. My advice would be to change your behavior by how you react as she only knows what gets you and will not change. I almost feel she gets satisfaction cutting you down. It’s called being a hearteater.
I wouldn’t give her the reaction she looks for. Walk away, hold your cool, do not let her see that it bothers you (don’t make eye contact and leave the room). By not getting a rise out of you, she might tire and maybe she will see you differently.
I’m the mean time, save and try to move when you are able and don’t be around so much - go out and enjoy and do what makes you happy.

Anonymous wrote:
It's manipulative behavior on your mother's part.
I wouldn't overly engage or share your life plans and goals with her..
Also, consider moving out of her of home and into your space .. and some counseling.

Best of luck to you.

excuse those types -- silly iphone

It's manipulative behavior on your mother's part.
I wouldn't overly engage or share your life plans and goals with her..
Also, consider moving out of her of her home and into your .. and some counseling.

Best of luck to you.

Anonymous wrote:Are you neurodivergent?

dont know maybe I am. If i ever mention that maybe I have ADHD or something like that autism etc my mom gets pissed iff

Are you neurodivergent?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either get therapy, move out, or stop whining.

Go eff yourself. I have always been an incredibly helpful kind child and have always stayed out of trouble. I do not deserve to feel this way and suffer like this. Especially not since I was a child.

Im not whining. I am someone who is breaking down emotionally. I definitely did not ask for advice from someone like YOU

That's some irony, telling someone how you are incredibly kind and helpful while telling them to eff off.

You sound like a petulant, nasty little girl who does need to stop whining and grow up. Doesn't seem likely though based on your other responses to people.

--NP

Wow Im happy i could help you release some of whatever that is 👍🏼