Chose family: that means spending time with them and being there for (both of) them. It is clear that relationships are more valuable than $.

(And better for your mental health as well)

Honestly I would take the big law gig if I were you. The first couple years will be rough and your wife might want more flexibility, which your big law salary could afford her. Plus, tbh and maybe I will get flamed for this, babies and toddlers don't care that much if you are around. Yes you will miss the experience but if I had to choose, I would rather be around more for early elementary years than baby years.

You should leave now, save up big time your big law salary for next 3-4 years, then when govt is hiring again, take your pick of govt job if it becomes stable again. Or go in house or some other job with more flexibility. Then you will have your down payment and cushion, given your wife flexibility to stay home or part time during early years, and you will get to enjoy more family time when your kids are 4 or 5.

You’re mid 30s… what year associate would you return to biglaw as?

If you can’t make it on 300k, that’s a you problem.

People acidly telling OP than anyone can easily live on a 300K HHI in the DMV area must have bought their family home in the before times and locked in a nice low rate or have family assistance or don’t mind a long commute to work from their faraway affordable suburb. OP, if that’s not you I believe thinking long term about your career prospects and earning potential is smart. You have to envision what kind of work life balance you want of course but you can work towards that while saving money. I’m a lawyer and have done biglaw, Fed and in house, both non profit and private sector work. As a lawyer you want to think about your long term salary potential. What would be the plan with going back to a law firm? If you are thinking about trying to make partner, then yes that is a significant commitment that would most likely mean you miss out a lot on your DCs most formative years. That was a no for me. However if you have a 2-5 year plan that will broaden your skills, expand future earning potential and give you a couple years to save as aggressively as you can for a down payment for a home, retirement and college funds then I would seriously consider that. Children are extremely expensive, public service is no longer a stable long term option and I think these times call for making strategic career choices that in the long term will increase your options even if it means a short term sacrifice.

Anonymous wrote:You can’t afford to live on $300K a year? Come on.

This. This is where the slap needs to be.

OP here. Thanks for the advice so far. I will not refer to myself as an "expectant father" again.

I should clarify that I don't work for the executive branch, hence the "relatively stable" aspect of my job. My practice area is pretty niche (not corporate) and not what most in-house place look for in an ex-biglaw attorney. But I'll keep searching. I'm gladdened to hear that others did it on far less, but I imagine buying a house in this area was easier 10-15 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:Go in house

This.

Everyone in this thread is making the assumption that OP is able to keep his current fed job. Rifs are coming folks.

Go in house

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dial back your expenses, let your wife stay home, stay in a career with reasonable hours. Focus your life on investing in the people who will love you in your old age and mourn your passing.

Big law colleagues and clients will not give a f*ck, and your child may resent that you were mentally and physically absent during her childhood.

It seems like he and the wife make similar, so I don’t think having her stay home is going to help on the financial side.

Yes, obviously. It's going to help on the life side, though.

Anonymous wrote:Dial back your expenses, let your wife stay home, stay in a career with reasonable hours. Focus your life on investing in the people who will love you in your old age and mourn your passing.

Big law colleagues and clients will not give a f*ck, and your child may resent that you were mentally and physically absent during her childhood.

It seems like he and the wife make similar, so I don’t think having her stay home is going to help on the financial side.

Definitely take the big law job right now before your child is born. Big law has one of the best parental leave policies. My firm gives fathers 4 months fully paid. Even if you decide you can’t stay long term, it’d be worth it just for the parental leave. Just make sure you go to a firm that doesn’t require a full year of work before taking leave. Depending what year you are, if you can just hack it for a year, that could be a substantial amount saved for down payment, etc.

I love in DC with a kid and am HHI of 180k. I work part-time, DH has a job with good work-life balance. I could be in a big law job making literally 10x my current income, but... I don't want to? We live in a condo, it's fine. We might decamp for somewhere with power cost of living in a few years, but we'd be okay staying where we are also.

We prioritized less stress and time with family over money and a bigger home. We only had one kid, so we're actually doing well with college savings and we will be able to retire by 58 if we want to.

You need to stop tying yourself to these narrow ideas of what is possible and what is important. Decide what you want, and make choices that get you there. No one who doesn't have a gambling problem or owe millions in back taxes "needs" to take a big law job. You have tons of other options, including just staying where you are at and budgeting appropriately.

Given current climate take the big law job now, but save every extra penny so you are not forced to keep it long term. This way you save now for college but can dial back!