Anonymous wrote:I love my dog, but he is a handful. He has major anxiety and can not be taken to a vet unless I am with him, cannot handle the groomers, etc. When I have tried leaving him with friends, he dumps all over their house due to being scared. He has been prescribed a lot of medication and it does take the edge off, but he would still be considered a difficult dog.

Still, I love this dog. He's great for me. The problem is he is only great for me.

I had surgery last year and the recovery was miserable as the dog couldn't be boarded anywhere and he was creating havoc for others. People were trying to help, but it was a stressful situation for everyone- including the dog. We survived, yay. And now I need another surgery. Are you kidding me??

Recovery this time will include 4 weeks of non weight-bearing followed by more recovery time. I have really thought through things, and I don't see an option but to surrender him.

How do I surrender a dog like this? I can't just give him to a friend cause to be honest they won't be my friend for very long after they deal with his temperament. Do I just make an appt with the county shelter and just give him to them? Any other ideas? Time is important as the surgery is scheduled for early April.

Thank you for your help. I'm crying as I write this post but also pretty decided that this is my only option, so be kind.

There are other options. Is your dog able to be walked? Hire someone now so that the dog is familiar. Have that person walk/exercise your dog so the dog is calmer while you recoperate.

You do not dump your problem dog on someone else!

Research board and train programs in your area. They aren’t all at the $1500 per week that was quoted earlier. It sounds like your dog could greatly benefit from one even if you weren’t having surgery.

If that isn’t an option please speak with your vet. They may work closely with reputable rescue groups that could be an option. You can also speak with breed specific rescue groups to see if they are accepting surrenders.

I would try asking a rescue if they could find you a foster home for 2 months if you agreed to financially support the dog and or the rescue.

Maybe they would help you if you will sincerely take the dog back after your recuperation.

One of the hardest decisions we ever have to make as pet parents is knowing when it’s time to say goodbye. Our pets are family, and the thought of making that choice can be overwhelming. I know I’ve struggled with it, and I’m sure many of you have too.

I recently found this article from CodaPet, where real pet parents share their experiences using a Quality of Life Scale to help guide this difficult decision. It breaks down what to look for—changes in mobility, appetite, pain levels, and overall happiness—so we can better understand what our pets may be going through. Hearing from others who have faced this same decision made me feel less alone and gave me some clarity on what to consider.

For those who have been through this, how did you know it was time? What signs helped you decide? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I know others in this community would too. Let’s support each other through this journey. 💙🐾

#PetQualityOfLife #KnowingWhenItsTime #PetParentSupport

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, surrendering your dog is not going to help. He will be in a shelter environment that will only increase his anxiety and behavioral issues. He is not an adoptable dog in his current state. This is an unfortunate situation, but you need your surgery, so you need to think about how to deal with your dog in the most humane way possible.

A shelter would be cruel. My suggestion is to contact an in-home euthanasia service. Your dogs last moments will be peaceful, with you at home and comfortable. The service will also offer to send you ashes if you choose to do so. While it sounds cold-hearted, it's so cruel to put a dog like this in a shelter to suffer anxiety, abandonment, and confusion and get shuffled around till he ultimately ends up being put down anyway.

They don't just do euthanasia on demand for any reason. They may refuse to euthanized a healthy dog. Honestly, I am 100% compassionate here - but OP sounds like she is suffering from depression; many vets won't euthanize a dog because their owner is depressed.

Vets will do what is best for the animal. The shelters are full, and a dog with known behavioral issues isn't a good candidate for rehoming.

Nobody on DCUM can say what the vets will or won't do. Start making calls. Get facts.

Anonymous wrote:OP, surrendering your dog is not going to help. He will be in a shelter environment that will only increase his anxiety and behavioral issues. He is not an adoptable dog in his current state. This is an unfortunate situation, but you need your surgery, so you need to think about how to deal with your dog in the most humane way possible.

A shelter would be cruel. My suggestion is to contact an in-home euthanasia service. Your dogs last moments will be peaceful, with you at home and comfortable. The service will also offer to send you ashes if you choose to do so. While it sounds cold-hearted, it's so cruel to put a dog like this in a shelter to suffer anxiety, abandonment, and confusion and get shuffled around till he ultimately ends up being put down anyway.

They don't just do euthanasia on demand for any reason. They may refuse to euthanized a healthy dog. Honestly, I am 100% compassionate here - but OP sounds like she is suffering from depression; many vets won't euthanize a dog because their owner is depressed.

OP, surrendering your dog is not going to help. He will be in a shelter environment that will only increase his anxiety and behavioral issues. He is not an adoptable dog in his current state. This is an unfortunate situation, but you need your surgery, so you need to think about how to deal with your dog in the most humane way possible.

A shelter would be cruel. My suggestion is to contact an in-home euthanasia service. Your dogs last moments will be peaceful, with you at home and comfortable. The service will also offer to send you ashes if you choose to do so. While it sounds cold-hearted, it's so cruel to put a dog like this in a shelter to suffer anxiety, abandonment, and confusion and get shuffled around till he ultimately ends up being put down anyway.

If he's aggressive he needs to be euthanised. A veterinarian can do this for about $300 or so. You can take him to the Ffx co shelter and they will eventually put him down for free.

Anonymous wrote:We took a dog to a no kill shelter because she was biting everyone in the house. My kids were 9 and 10 years old and I we couldn’t have their friends in the house. I felt bad, but honestly, it was a relief.

WTF
so irresponsible

OP, don’t get another dog.

Anonymous wrote:Put the dog down.

Maybe you should be put down, too.

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but...How do you put the dog down? I mean without taking him behind the woodshed and shooting him. Do you take him to a vet appt and just say...let's put him down and they give him a lethal injection? or who does the putting down? Thanks

Yes, a vet does it. It can be a vet in an office or someone who comes to your home. They give one injection to put your dog under (asleep) and then one to stop the heart. We had it done at home and it was very peaceful, but I've heard sometimes there are involuntary body movements/noise that upset people so just FYI.

It doesn't always happen this way at shelters, BTW. I don't know what's done locally but there are still parts of the country where shelter dogs are gassed. Another reason to do it yourself instead of letting your dog stress in a shelter first.

Not all vets will euthanize for behavioral reasons. OPs vet should hopefully have a handle on whether this dog is trainable and what the kindest choice is.

Generally vets only do behavioral euthanasia for a dog that's shown to be dangerous (bite history).

I'd call around the shelters and rescues. No judgment, your health issues aren't compatible with him and I don't think that's your fault.

OP - I'm really sorry you are going through this. It sounds incredibly hard.

If you are looking for other options: Is it possible you could hire a pet sitter to come walk your dog while you are recovering from surgery?

When you say difficult, can you explain a bit more about what that means? And can you say how you and your dog worked through that when he was new with you - or how you work it through now?

Others have more or less given you the most salient options. If you do want to give up your dog, your best bets are to try to rehome them yourself first - reach out to your network and explain your situation, and ask them to share as well. Social media is really good for this. There are also pet rehoming websites, and some shelters will help you spread the word - especially if it means that the dog isn't going to be surrendered to them, but they can just support you finding the dog a new home yourself. You'll have to call around - or look at shelters' websites - to find out more.

There are essentially two types of shelters - limited admission shelters and open-admission shelters. The limited admission shelters are generally what you'd call "no kill" - they pick and choose which pets to take in and focus on those whose needs they can meet and who they think they can place in a home. You'll have to reach out to those shelters - rescue groups are like this, too - to see if any can take your dog.

Open admission shelters are more what you would think of as the "pound" - though some do now have what's called "managed intake" meaning you can't just walk in with the dog but call ahead of time so they can have a plan for your pet.

Those may be no-kill or may not be - and just be aware that owner surrenders, especially those with behavioral or medical issues, may not make it out.

I am not saying that to shame you - I can hear in your OP how much you are struggling right now, and I have nothing but compassion - but just to give you a picture of what is involved, so you can make sure you are approaching this with your eye open.

Behavioral euthanasia is something that some vets would do in this kind of case and others would not. I'd talk to your trusted vet about what is happening right now and see if they think your dog's situation is so bad, and they are so unlikely to make it with another owner, that they think there is no other option. They might have ideas for other meds to try, or other trainers.

In any case - my heart goes out to you OP. I hope you are able to find an answer here that leaves you and your dog at peace, and I hope your surgery goes well.

You should seriously consider euthanasia. The dog has a history of anxious behavior that makes it very unlikely he’s going to do well in a shelter or foster situation. He’s going to be miserable and probably be passed around. Consider giving him a peaceful ending.

+1. I'm so sorry that you have the stress of this on top of your medical issue. But the kindest thing you can do for this dog is be there for him as he leaves this life. Call your vet or Lap of Love.