Anonymous
05/01/2025 22:48
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would wait. You need to be home continuously for at least a few weeks with a puppy. I'm currently laid off and we are getting a puppy because I am home now all the time... financially maybe not the best decision. But our kids are older and can help and they are also very very ready and waiting for many years!
Can't wait to hear back from you in 6 months about how awful your dog is and how it was a bad decision.
Not only do you need to be home continuously for SEVERAL MONTHS, depending on the puppy's age, you need to know what you're doing. Your kids are "older", you say? Mine are teens, have grown up with dogs, and are good kids who like to help. You know how much "help" they actually are? Barely any.
They've been "waiting for many years"? Yeah, well, my kids have been wanting a pony for their whole lives. Know how many ponies we can reasonably afford and manage? Zero ponies. So you know how many ponies we have? Zero ponies.
If you're in a short-term unemployment status situation, foster. Yes, it's sad when the puppy finds its forever home, but your kids will get the "puppy experience" in a way that's better for all parties, all around. And then, if you really liked having a puppy, AND it worked out with your family dynamics, you can get a puppy to keep (or keep the one you've been fostering, even).
Most of the posters in this forum shouldn't own dogs, let alone take on the responsibility of properly training puppies. Know what you don't know.
Oh shut up. Being able to be home full time is amazing for a puppy. You sound like an ass regardless
Anonymous
05/01/2025 22:47
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
I got a puppy in February. I have a hybrid schedule (non-fed) and am paying about $450 a month for care even without being in the office every day. Proceed with caution.
Anonymous
05/01/2025 15:14
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Totally understand all of your feelings. We have a 9 mo puppy and I can't stress enough how much work a new puppy is during the first few months. It is absolute mayhem and it will take a toll on everyone involved no matter how wanted and beloved the puppy is. There is the potty training, crate training (which will be necessary if you are out a lot), crazy chewing, nipping with piranha teeth phase, trashing the furniture phase etc. These phases pass but they eat up a ton of your time, energy and patience.
But most importantly, if you want a good, stable, reliable dog in the long run, the critical time to bond, train and nurture the puppy is from the time you get it until about 9 months to a year old. If you don't have the time and attention for that part of their lives, you may be living with a neurotic, intense dog for many years to come. You could get lucky on disposition--it certainly happens with older rescue dogs but there's zero guarantee. And you're getting a breeder puppy because you want to raise it into the best version of itself which requires a lot of investment up front. Get the puppy when you can devote the time and energy. And while the kids will enjoy the puppy for a few minutes here and there, you will be doing the grunt work of caring for it and they will be avoiding it like the plague while it nips them with it's shark teeth.
Our puppy has grown into a lovely adolescent dog but good lord, it was a ride to get here! There won't be a perfect time but it does sound like there might be a better time in the foreseeable future. I hope it all works out OP!
But most importantly, if you want a good, stable, reliable dog in the long run, the critical time to bond, train and nurture the puppy is from the time you get it until about 9 months to a year old. If you don't have the time and attention for that part of their lives, you may be living with a neurotic, intense dog for many years to come. You could get lucky on disposition--it certainly happens with older rescue dogs but there's zero guarantee. And you're getting a breeder puppy because you want to raise it into the best version of itself which requires a lot of investment up front. Get the puppy when you can devote the time and energy. And while the kids will enjoy the puppy for a few minutes here and there, you will be doing the grunt work of caring for it and they will be avoiding it like the plague while it nips them with it's shark teeth.
Our puppy has grown into a lovely adolescent dog but good lord, it was a ride to get here! There won't be a perfect time but it does sound like there might be a better time in the foreseeable future. I hope it all works out OP!
Anonymous
05/01/2025 14:58
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:I would wait. You need to be home continuously for at least a few weeks with a puppy. I'm currently laid off and we are getting a puppy because I am home now all the time... financially maybe not the best decision. But our kids are older and can help and they are also very very ready and waiting for many years!
Can't wait to hear back from you in 6 months about how awful your dog is and how it was a bad decision.
Not only do you need to be home continuously for SEVERAL MONTHS, depending on the puppy's age, you need to know what you're doing. Your kids are "older", you say? Mine are teens, have grown up with dogs, and are good kids who like to help. You know how much "help" they actually are? Barely any.
They've been "waiting for many years"? Yeah, well, my kids have been wanting a pony for their whole lives. Know how many ponies we can reasonably afford and manage? Zero ponies. So you know how many ponies we have? Zero ponies.
If you're in a short-term unemployment status situation, foster. Yes, it's sad when the puppy finds its forever home, but your kids will get the "puppy experience" in a way that's better for all parties, all around. And then, if you really liked having a puppy, AND it worked out with your family dynamics, you can get a puppy to keep (or keep the one you've been fostering, even).
Most of the posters in this forum shouldn't own dogs, let alone take on the responsibility of properly training puppies. Know what you don't know.
Anonymous
05/01/2025 14:08
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:If your kids are still in daycare and complaining about time and attention, I would recommend slowing wayyyy down.
and don't get a puppy right now.
Anonymous
05/01/2025 13:25
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
I would wait. You need to be home continuously for at least a few weeks with a puppy. I'm currently laid off and we are getting a puppy because I am home now all the time... financially maybe not the best decision. But our kids are older and can help and they are also very very ready and waiting for many years!
Anonymous
03/12/2025 13:14
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:(Please no judgement on using a breeder. We are looking for a puppy with certain characteristics that we could train)
My last dog died 7 years ago and we were so heartbroken that we haven’t had another since, plus we had babies so the time wasn’t right. We decided last spring that we would get a puppy. We researched breeders for a long time, found one, made sure the moms and puppies were happy, healthy, and well cared for. We even met other puppies from previous litters. This will be my 4th dog from this breed so we were very set on it. We’ve waited over a year for our turn to come up as this breeder doesn’t breed often. A puppy was just born and we were told we could get one in April but another litter wouldn’t be born until September if we delayed.
The thing is, we’re both dual Feds working long hours, no chance of telework now. Our kids have been very unhappy about longer hours in daycare and aftercare and we now don’t have enough time/ attention for them.
Should we get this puppy? Or wait until September when hopefully things die down in Fed world (or I lose my job and become a sahm which would be ok too). We all want it so badly and I know my kids would enjoy the puppy all summer long. We are planning to send our kids away to a semi local grandparents’ farm for the summer because we cancelled vacations and camps because of job uncertainty and the dog could go. We’ve already paid for the dog.
Kids don’t know a puppy was born but they talk multiple times a day about our future puppy because they were expecting it by summer.
Anyways, we have no idea what to do. Any input?
HMOG do NOT get a puppy.
1) You want a breed for "characteristics you can train". If you're not training for sport, scentwork, livestock guarding, hunting... what, exactly, do you need this specific breed for? I get that you're familiar with it, as it seems like the only breed you've owned. You're allowed to get a dog just because you like them, but be honest about your reasoning.
2) "7 years ago" you "had babies". This says that your kids are what, 10ish, max? That is barely old enough to be capable of reducing parental attention. Might work if your kids are particularly mature, or low-energy bookworm types... but you straight up wrote "Our kids have been very unhappy about longer hours in daycare and aftercare and we now don’t have enough time/ attention for them." OMFG, you need to LISTEN.
3) "The thing is, we’re both dual Feds working long hours, no chance of telework now." Your kids aren't old enough to take care of a dog without significant supervision, let alone an 8ish week old puppy. They won't be any help for several years. You're going to have to factor in commute time, kidcare pickup time, the exhaustion that comes with juggling all this while raising kids (you didn't say how many, but it's kidS, plural, so your hands are full). And you want to wake in the night with an 8-week old puppy, every night, sometimes multiple times a night, for the next several months? Do you have the finances to invest in a dogwalker multiple times a day? Are you okay with leaving a puppy in a crate at home, alone, all day, while you work a full Fed schedule? Is your breeder aware of this plan (I wouldn't sell to you if I was fully aware of the reality of your circumstances)
4) You paid for it, okay. A responsible breeder wants the best placement for their dogs, and most will be happy to roll your spot on the waitlist to the next litter, and the next, and the next... They'll respect you for making sure the timing is ideal, and if they don't, they've told you a LOT about their breeding practices and you should listen and find a better breeder.
I get that you're heartbroken from your last loss (these always hurt), and the kids are excited about a puppy (who wouldn't be), and NEITHER IS A GOOD REASON to get a puppy. "We are planning to send our kids away to a semi local grandparents’ farm for the summer because we cancelled vacations and camps because of job uncertainty and the dog could go." Isn't that sweet, as a visual, but do the kids' grandparents want to deal with your <6 month old puppy on their farm while wrangling your kids on their farm and, you know, whatever actual farmlife they may already be responsible for? Have you really discussed this, in detail?
You are in your feelings, which is understandable. It's also a TERRIBLE place for decisionmaking. With even the smallest light of logic, this plan completely crumbles. A puppy is a horrible fit for your family at this time, and that's before we even get to the current status of the government, potential closures, etc.
"We have no idea what to do." Really? Because if you're smart, I think you do. If you're not, you don't need to find out the hard way. This is a horrible plan. Don't do this. It's not fair to the puppy, to your kids, to your spouse, to the grandparents, to the breeder (who is likely to get a poorly-trained older puppy returned when this plan goes to the hell it's heading straight for...), or to you.
OP, I have a lot of empathy for your situation, but I wholeheartedly agree with this. Now is not the time.
Anonymous
03/08/2025 15:08
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:Read your post. When do you have time for a dog. Only way to do it is a day care for the dog.
This. OP's post makes the dog sound like a prop, not a pet.
Anonymous
03/08/2025 15:07
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:I think you all are overestimating how much work a puppy is. I got mine at 12 weeks and I definitely didn’t wake up all night taking it to the bathroom.
You probably should've. I feel bad for your dog. Dogs should go out every (1+#months age) hours, max hold time. So your 3 month old puppy should've gone out every 4 hours, which is at least once in the night for most of us.
Anonymous
03/08/2025 14:21
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Read your post. When do you have time for a dog. Only way to do it is a day care for the dog.
Anonymous
03/08/2025 14:10
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
I think you all are overestimating how much work a puppy is. I got mine at 12 weeks and I definitely didn’t wake up all night taking it to the bathroom.
Anonymous
03/08/2025 10:32
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:(Please no judgement on using a breeder. We are looking for a puppy with certain characteristics that we could train)
My last dog died 7 years ago and we were so heartbroken that we haven’t had another since, plus we had babies so the time wasn’t right. We decided last spring that we would get a puppy. We researched breeders for a long time, found one, made sure the moms and puppies were happy, healthy, and well cared for. We even met other puppies from previous litters. This will be my 4th dog from this breed so we were very set on it. We’ve waited over a year for our turn to come up as this breeder doesn’t breed often. A puppy was just born and we were told we could get one in April but another litter wouldn’t be born until September if we delayed.
The thing is, we’re both dual Feds working long hours, no chance of telework now. Our kids have been very unhappy about longer hours in daycare and aftercare and we now don’t have enough time/ attention for them.
Should we get this puppy? Or wait until September when hopefully things die down in Fed world (or I lose my job and become a sahm which would be ok too). We all want it so badly and I know my kids would enjoy the puppy all summer long. We are planning to send our kids away to a semi local grandparents’ farm for the summer because we cancelled vacations and camps because of job uncertainty and the dog could go. We’ve already paid for the dog.
Kids don’t know a puppy was born but they talk multiple times a day about our future puppy because they were expecting it by summer.
Anyways, we have no idea what to do. Any input?
HMOG do NOT get a puppy.
1) You want a breed for "characteristics you can train". If you're not training for sport, scentwork, livestock guarding, hunting... what, exactly, do you need this specific breed for? I get that you're familiar with it, as it seems like the only breed you've owned. You're allowed to get a dog just because you like them, but be honest about your reasoning.
2) "7 years ago" you "had babies". This says that your kids are what, 10ish, max? That is barely old enough to be capable of reducing parental attention. Might work if your kids are particularly mature, or low-energy bookworm types... but you straight up wrote "Our kids have been very unhappy about longer hours in daycare and aftercare and we now don’t have enough time/ attention for them." OMFG, you need to LISTEN.
3) "The thing is, we’re both dual Feds working long hours, no chance of telework now." Your kids aren't old enough to take care of a dog without significant supervision, let alone an 8ish week old puppy. They won't be any help for several years. You're going to have to factor in commute time, kidcare pickup time, the exhaustion that comes with juggling all this while raising kids (you didn't say how many, but it's kidS, plural, so your hands are full). And you want to wake in the night with an 8-week old puppy, every night, sometimes multiple times a night, for the next several months? Do you have the finances to invest in a dogwalker multiple times a day? Are you okay with leaving a puppy in a crate at home, alone, all day, while you work a full Fed schedule? Is your breeder aware of this plan (I wouldn't sell to you if I was fully aware of the reality of your circumstances)
4) You paid for it, okay. A responsible breeder wants the best placement for their dogs, and most will be happy to roll your spot on the waitlist to the next litter, and the next, and the next... They'll respect you for making sure the timing is ideal, and if they don't, they've told you a LOT about their breeding practices and you should listen and find a better breeder.
I get that you're heartbroken from your last loss (these always hurt), and the kids are excited about a puppy (who wouldn't be), and NEITHER IS A GOOD REASON to get a puppy. "We are planning to send our kids away to a semi local grandparents’ farm for the summer because we cancelled vacations and camps because of job uncertainty and the dog could go." Isn't that sweet, as a visual, but do the kids' grandparents want to deal with your <6 month old puppy on their farm while wrangling your kids on their farm and, you know, whatever actual farmlife they may already be responsible for? Have you really discussed this, in detail?
You are in your feelings, which is understandable. It's also a TERRIBLE place for decisionmaking. With even the smallest light of logic, this plan completely crumbles. A puppy is a horrible fit for your family at this time, and that's before we even get to the current status of the government, potential closures, etc.
"We have no idea what to do." Really? Because if you're smart, I think you do. If you're not, you don't need to find out the hard way. This is a horrible plan. Don't do this. It's not fair to the puppy, to your kids, to your spouse, to the grandparents, to the breeder (who is likely to get a poorly-trained older puppy returned when this plan goes to the hell it's heading straight for...), or to you.
Anonymous
03/07/2025 14:17
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:you stated you don't have enough time and attention for your kids. how is this a question?
Right? I can only think the DH and kids are pressing her.
Op here. Some of my issue with giving my kids enough attention is from my own depression and stress. Not much to look forward to and a puppy actually would help with that. We would never not care for the puppy or our children.
Anonymous
03/07/2025 14:13
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:If the question is really now vs September, and your parents are willing to take the dog this summer and will do a good job training it, I would do that. The kids will love having a buddy this summer and it will be easier to send an older/better trained/vaccinated dog to day care in the fall. By the time the weather gets cold again you won't have to walk the dog as much.
But the question might really be dog or not. If you don't think you can handle a dog on top of two full time jobs and kids, don't get a dog while you have those things. If what your family really wants is a dog and a sahm and less day care and you can afford it, don't wait to be laid off though. That's putting your happiness in the hands of Elon. Make it happen if it's the right thing for your family not the right thing for doge.
Op here. Potentially we could keep putting off a puppy even past September and still stay top of the waitlist. It’s a $$$ dog and there’s a long waitlist. This is a breeder who researched us too and might not give it if she knew we couldn’t even telework part time.
Grandparents could help potty train the dog, but would be awful at commands and everything else we want the dog trained in.
Anonymous
03/07/2025 14:10
Subject: Advice on whether to get a puppy with fed uncertainty
Anonymous wrote:you stated you don't have enough time and attention for your kids. how is this a question?
Right? I can only think the DH and kids are pressing her.