Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 22:24     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH just brought home a lab puppy. I’m beyond mad. I’ve never had a dog before and have no idea what to do. We also have two kids, 7 and 9. The kids are thrilled. The puppy is very cute, but he’s already peed on our new carpet. DH is an idiot.


If you’ve never had a dog before I’m not sure a lab is right for you, even if you had known it was coming. Lifelong lab owner and while they are the absolute best, especially as family pets, they are big, strong, and energetic for at least 2 years. They house train extremely quickly but they have loads of energy so training is critical.


+1 Adult labs that have been well-trained make great family dogs, and it takes a considerable amount of consistent training to get them there. They're kinda bulldozers, can easily knock down younger/smaller kids, and need an outlet for all that working dog energy. So unless you're going to have them retrieving things, get an older one or go with another breed.

They're also mouthy AF. Lab puppies are part vampire, I swear... Those little needle teeth HURT too! Not a great choice for a family with small kids who are new to dog ownership.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 22:13     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:DH just brought home a lab puppy. I’m beyond mad. I’ve never had a dog before and have no idea what to do. We also have two kids, 7 and 9. The kids are thrilled. The puppy is very cute, but he’s already peed on our new carpet. DH is an idiot.


If you’ve never had a dog before I’m not sure a lab is right for you, even if you had known it was coming. Lifelong lab owner and while they are the absolute best, especially as family pets, they are big, strong, and energetic for at least 2 years. They house train extremely quickly but they have loads of energy so training is critical.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:48     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:DH just brought home a lab puppy. I’m beyond mad. I’ve never had a dog before and have no idea what to do. We also have two kids, 7 and 9. The kids are thrilled. The puppy is very cute, but he’s already peed on our new carpet. DH is an idiot.


Yes he’s a thoughtless short sighted idiot.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:47     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:DH just brought home a lab puppy. I’m beyond mad. I’ve never had a dog before and have no idea what to do. We also have two kids, 7 and 9. The kids are thrilled. The puppy is very cute, but he’s already peed on our new carpet. DH is an idiot.


I would be pissed. Not cute. Life isn’t a sitcom. I considered a dog during covid then came to my senses when I realized the dog would be mine. My child may need therapy for the rest of his life and I couldn’t.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:41     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Giant pee pads to cover the rugs. Amazon has huge ones. And baby gates. We got a dog and I did not want one but he does most of the work and all the walking. She just hangs out and cuddles with me.


NO. Pee pads are disgusting. Crate train your dog.

Gates, yes. pee pads, fsck no.


Giant pee pads also don't train the dog.

My grandma was a casual dog breeder (she was all properly registered and did everything properly but the puppies were mostly for family and friends) and we would have the puppies somewhat house trained by the 12 week time they'd go home. Animals generally don't want to soil their living spaces. The puppies would sometimes get creative about not pooping on the floor (one pooped in a shoe once, that was fun), but they have an instinct not to soil near their food or sleeping space and you can use that.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:41     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
My mom did this when I was a kid. We had just lost a dog a few weeks prior. My dad didn’t speak to her for 3 weeks. Not one word. But it all worked out and that dog became my dad’s companion for 15 years.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:38     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:Oh heck no. What a horrible, manipulative thing to do to bring the puppy home to the kids so you're the bad guy if you object.

Everyone in the house needs to consent to the dog, especially the adults. I also think the kind of person who brings home a surprise puppy is the kind of person who doesn't do any work.

Labs are also a lot of dog. They need a lot of exercise.

This is just a huge no. Is this on pattern for him?

He has really created a no win solution for you and that sucks.


Agreed. Put your foot all the way down, OP. Not only does he take the puppy back, but he explains to the kids why. Anything less is divorce-worthy. Not exaggerating. This is completely unreasonable behavior from a responsible adult, and he needs to be the one taking full responsibility for the cleanup, with a swiftness.

I couldn't live with someone so clueless and/or manipulative and/or psycho/sociopathic. This is... it's ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:36     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:I love dogs but I'd be furious. A pet is a family commitment, not a gift or a surprise.

OP, please treat this the same as if he brought home a human infant - either commit 100% without resentment, for life, or have him return the puppy immediately. Like an infant, the puppy will be fine if returned tomorrow, but won't be ok if you rehome in 6 to 18 months or 4 years or whatever.

If you commit, that means you do the work too. It's not possible to raise a puppy with one person in the household abstaining from involvement.


This, plus: y'all don't have time for a puppy with the therapy you'll need to go to in order to unfsck this debacle. I'm sorry, but this is a fireable offense!
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:34     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:DH just brought home a lab puppy. I’m beyond mad. I’ve never had a dog before and have no idea what to do. We also have two kids, 7 and 9. The kids are thrilled. The puppy is very cute, but he’s already peed on our new carpet. DH is an idiot.


Nah, you know exactly what to do. Take the puppy back. Let your husband explain it to the kids. Then, sit down as a family and have the discussions you should've had first. Do we want a dog? Who pays for the dog? Who's willing to learn crate training 101, basic dog handling, good dog/owner etiquette? Who will be responsible for feeding the dog? Walking the dog? Training the dog?

"It seems like you're really interested in having a puppy. Puppies are a lot of work, and we need to be sure we're all ready to make a good home for a dog."

I'd be irate if my partner brought home another family member without any prior discussion. What an absolute ass.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:31     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:Giant pee pads to cover the rugs. Amazon has huge ones. And baby gates. We got a dog and I did not want one but he does most of the work and all the walking. She just hangs out and cuddles with me.


NO. Pee pads are disgusting. Crate train your dog.

Gates, yes. pee pads, fsck no.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:12     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Giant pee pads to cover the rugs. Amazon has huge ones. And baby gates. We got a dog and I did not want one but he does most of the work and all the walking. She just hangs out and cuddles with me.
Some dogs are easier and require less work than others. Labs are a working breed and require a lot of exercise, mental stimulation, and attention. Your situation sounds great, but I don't know if that's realistic for OP. At least not for a few years.


It is to protect the floors and furniture. We covered our rugs with the huge blanket pee pads. Easier to wash them vs carpets.
Oh, absolutely. I should have been specific; my post was more in response to you saying your dh does everything and you just cuddle with the dog.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:07     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how he just brought it home. Getting a puppy now usually takes months of lead time so he must have been hiding it from you for weeks or months. This is seriously uncool, even if he will do all the work but cosmically so if he’s not gojng to do the work.

I feel like I also need to say my mom did exactly this to my dad when I was little. But she was a stay at home mom, and he worked a ton. She or the kids did all the work and in the 13 years we owned the dog I can’t remember him ever doing a think to care for it or clean up after it. He did like dogs but never particularly bonded with that one. He was mad when he first saw the dog but I think got over it pretty quickly, probably because he knew my mom would do all the work and because at that point we’d been maybe 6 months with no dog and in my family it was weird not to have a dog. But we all remembered him being mad when he got home from work and there was a puppy in the kitchen!


I'm wondering if this is a puppy mill puppy. No reputable rescue or breeder would let someone just take home a puppy like that.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:06     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Oh heck no. What a horrible, manipulative thing to do to bring the puppy home to the kids so you're the bad guy if you object.

Everyone in the house needs to consent to the dog, especially the adults. I also think the kind of person who brings home a surprise puppy is the kind of person who doesn't do any work.

Labs are also a lot of dog. They need a lot of exercise.

This is just a huge no. Is this on pattern for him?

He has really created a no win solution for you and that sucks.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 21:02     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Giant pee pads to cover the rugs. Amazon has huge ones. And baby gates. We got a dog and I did not want one but he does most of the work and all the walking. She just hangs out and cuddles with me.
Some dogs are easier and require less work than others. Labs are a working breed and require a lot of exercise, mental stimulation, and attention. Your situation sounds great, but I don't know if that's realistic for OP. At least not for a few years.


It is to protect the floors and furniture. We covered our rugs with the huge blanket pee pads. Easier to wash them vs carpets.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2025 18:27     Subject: DH just brought home a puppy
I don’t understand how he just brought it home. Getting a puppy now usually takes months of lead time so he must have been hiding it from you for weeks or months. This is seriously uncool, even if he will do all the work but cosmically so if he’s not gojng to do the work.

I feel like I also need to say my mom did exactly this to my dad when I was little. But she was a stay at home mom, and he worked a ton. She or the kids did all the work and in the 13 years we owned the dog I can’t remember him ever doing a think to care for it or clean up after it. He did like dogs but never particularly bonded with that one. He was mad when he first saw the dog but I think got over it pretty quickly, probably because he knew my mom would do all the work and because at that point we’d been maybe 6 months with no dog and in my family it was weird not to have a dog. But we all remembered him being mad when he got home from work and there was a puppy in the kitchen!